What the hell AM I? (24)

I'm probably not very well known here, but those who ARE on other sites will know that I have been wrestling with this question for the better part of 5 years or more.

In a nutshell, I don't know WHAT the f*** I am. Ok, I'm NOT Dominant, that I know. I can BE dominant, but it is by no means my natural inclination. Equally so, I loathe, abhore and reject utterly most subs definition of themselves. I have NO intention of letting someone PUNISH me for speaking out of turn (especially as I take great care with what I say, and how) or breaking some rule that, in all likelihood I didn't even know existed in the first place. As for slavedom, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT!

So what's left? Not much, I fear. As you can imagine, I just don't feel that I fit in ANYWHERE.

I've been accused of being VANILLA before now, which is a massive insult to me, because that is one thing I'm NOT. Neither though am I the perfect little supine slaveboi, who can't breath without permission.

Ok, this is turning into a rant, and I don't want it to. If ANYONE out there relates to what I'm going through, PLEASE tell me.

Gaz

*UPDATE* Model(s) for "how to" bondage photographs (and other bondage photographs) have now been found. Thank you to all who showed interest.

So cool it hurts...

Why not start from there, not about fittin into others boxes but buildin one of Your own.

"Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex.... An' Yerself ?"
Award Winning Switch.

There are many subs who talk of their delight in submission being accompanied by rituals, obeying rules and getting punished for disobedience.

Much D/s is not like that. There is no right way or wrong way to be Dom, sub or switch. Many submissives are strong self assertive people. I think it is necessary to be strong to be a good sub.

So don't feel that you have to fit into someone else's preconceived idea of what a sub is. Be yourself. Find out what you like. Explore and experiment with kind, caring and sensually imaginative friends.

Above all have fun.

Pygar (Beau) - A Kind Dom

Because, to me what I want to be is of such little value as to not even be worth mentioning. OK, maybe it's a learned respeonse cos' I've felt so undervalued for so many years (it's not something that can be fixed overnight, if at all)

I just want to understand myself, and understand why my nerves are so raw about so many things. Why I hate so much, and have so much boiled, distilled, and hardened aggression in me.

Even if I learn to understand it though, I may never be able to accept it.

If you were my best friend I'd tell you to find someone qualified to help you deal with this. It takes time, patience and skill to resolve the sort of issues you're stuggling with.

So cool it hurts...

www.Bdsmandfetishmentor.co.uk Pro dom/me & Training / Mentoring services available. Either come to us or can travel to you with discretion assured.

It's in the water baby, it's in the pills that pick you up It's in the water baby, it's in the special way we fuck It's in the water baby, it's in your family tree It's in the water baby, it's between you and me - B.Molko

I agree with Sharp As Ice. The problem dosen't seam to be what are You? But what You think about Yourself. Which to me it appears to be not too much, at present.

Change this, Your thinking an You Change Yourself for the better, I believe. So seek some for of Talking Cure or Counseling ?

"Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex.... An' Yerself ?"
Award Winning Switch.