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| Insistor |
Be careful what you wish for,okay? It wasn't really a wish but rather a complaint in one of my blogs that television bombards us with adverts aimed at women's needs and maladies ( tampons, panty-liners, incontinence pads, etc).without addressing equivalent male problems, itchy ball-scratch compulsion, PFD (post-boozeup flatulence disorder), sticky foreskin/pubic hair syndrome and so on. Even stool softener ads, though surely unisex in application, are aimed at women.
Now that complaint has turned round to bite me bigtime with an advert offering help with "erectile dysfunction" - i.e. impotence. However, I'm not going to just sit by and allow my sex to be maligned and humiliated in this way. It's time to tell the real story about our occasional failures to get it up.
For millennia, men have lied about this, apologising to women and pretending that it was their problem rather than their mate's. We have shouldered the blame and said these things in order to spare women's feelings - who said chivalry was dead?
Now it's time to admit that our occasional "failure" to achieve an erection has had nothing to do with stress, age or tiredness but rather with boredom - and not the kind women (and relationship counsellors) suppose. Sure, women get bored with sex in the same location and position, but by-and-large, they are happy to do it over and over with the same person. Men just aren't.
Enough is enough. My advice to any male who's female cooingly suggests treatment for erectile dysfunction is to be honest and say "There is nothing wrong with my love-truncheon, babe. Transform yourself into a pair of teenage twins and I'll prove it. Sorry, but any flaccidity around here is down to you, Chubs. Now go to sleep, I have a hot date tomorrow!"
I find this approach solves the problem very nicely. Ask my ex-wife.
Edited Wed 28 Sep 11, 10:27 PM by Insistor
| 28 Sep 11, 10:04 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
With that kind of honesty, you must be a devil with the ladies. As one whose husband managed in the latter stages of the relationship to go floppy while in situ and thus be unable to produce a result, I'm forced to say that all the "it's not about you" excuses rather fell on deaf ears, and I remain unconvinced that the aforesaid nubile teenage twins couldn't have made a difference. Sigh. But if you don't have such twins available, do try not to be honest with the only cunt you've got, if you are actually fancying a shag of any kind. Would be my advice. Chubs x. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:20 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs |
I knew you were the sub for me - you don't mind being lied to and you haven't figured out that a man wouldn't have to make excuses if he actually fancied a shag. Perfect! BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:29 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
Do you know, you are the only person in the entire world who ever makes me feel really, really stupid, despite my excellent history degree and general brain the size of small planet credentials, etc, etc. Pleasingly, I get off on humilation, so it matters not. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:35 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs |
I knew this. That's why you're destined to be my mindless plaything. BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:41 PM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs       |
And the day WILL come when she says 'No thanks, don't fancy you any more either.' Your love truncheon will resemble a Mars bar in the Saharan sun and the first thing you'll do is rush off to find some skanky but nubile bimbette with flossy blonde hair, fake tits, the IQ of a sea slug and the sexual discrimination of a bonobo chimp. That'll make the trouser snake go hard again, the love lolly will be juicy and firm, niagara without viagra. WaaayHaaay - the cobra spits again (well it was more of a dribble but let's not quibble'. But then the doubt will creep in. 'She fancies everyone though, not just me, that doesn't make me feel special. Will she notice my smelly feet? Or my dandruff? Is the tube of false tooth goop still on the passenger seat after I made final adjustments to my gnashing grin?' Then six months later, you're still going to the singles nights, picking up more bimbettes, getting more and more desperate to pull to prove what a studmuffin you still are (despite your paunch). And yer now ex missus has bagged a decent bloke who worships every imagined flawette of her womanly body, treats her well and has his beautifully prepared Sunday dinner seated at the dining table of your former home whilst you watch football in the pub all afternoon then pick up a kebab on the way home to your scruffy, shabby flat. Have fun....
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| 28 Sep 11, 10:50 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs |
This sounds like someone you know. Why the fuck would you retain any bitterness about someone like that? BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:52 PM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs |
It's based on years of observation.... | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:53 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
Well, forgive me for being mean, but I rather hope it happens to my husband. In fairness to him, I don't suppose it will, but one can dream. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:54 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs |
You've been in the wrong observatory. BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. | |
| 28 Sep 11, 10:56 PM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs |
I worked as a barmaid for years and heard many many versions of that story - his, hers and the bimbettes.... |
