Narcissist or Dominant (52)

For eg.

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance

Expects to be recognized as superior

Requires excessive admiration

Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

There are lots of other similarities, and I could go very deeply into this subject after my experiences with both Dominant & narcissist, however I would just like to open this up to the boards and read your thoughts

thanks in advance

To the world, You are one person. But to one person, you might be the world.

In reality, many different kinds of people may be described as dominant or submissive, and to different degrees – and sometimes it's a matter of opinion.

One dictionary defines “dominant” as “ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command”. Saddam and Gaddafi could certainly be described as dominant – I don't think many people enjoyed submitting to them though. On the other hand, history has also known many “Dominants” for whom people were prepared to give their lives – and I mean willingly.

In our little context here, I'm afraid “dominant” means whatever anybody decides it means – and it's probably different for every “Dominant”. There is no doubt that many inadequate men see the BDSM environment as a happy hunting ground, full of deliciously submissive prey – all they have to do is learn how to appear “dominant” and they may get what they wouldn't otherwise – a shag.

There are also men who naturally command respect, and to whom submissive women seem naturally attracted, and whom will hopefully provide you with the kind of relationship you want – all you have to do is learn to tell the difference

I don't think any of these apply to a genuinely dominant man.

Edited 24 Sep 11, 8:42 AM by DeCoverley

It's apparent that there are many of the first who have convinced themselves that they are the second.

You could probably add megalomania to the defects list without much argument.

Fitz.

Escaped from the parallel universe

Don't think dominance and narcicissm necessarily go together, but, as you point out, there could be some overlap between the two for certain Dominants. ( That is if you can tolerate the concept that Doms are not always and necessarily perfect by definition ! ).

Naricissism is often thought of as "excessive self love" and therefore somewhat of a bad thing.

Self-love, when not taken to extreme, and self-worth are positive attributes.

I don't recognise my dom in your description. Perhaps it is more a reflection of the type of man you are drawn to.

If I were a sub I could not have a narcissistic Dom. I think you need to be attuned to your submissive as much as to yourself to be a successful Dom in a relationship, which someone taken up with themselves, their own knowledge, skill and needs will find quite difficult.

But it takes all sorts, it wouldn't do if all Doms were like me

vMaster aka Mike Web Site: http://www.vmaster.me.uk/

Let's all play nicely people.. Just remember.. This is meant to be fun!
"The art of being a gentleman is knowing when not to be..."

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness. It is not something that an individual 'uses' or 'chooses' as a means of getting their own way or dominating another.

There is a world of difference between someone who has this illness and those of us who have a degree of 'narcissim' in our make up - some might call that ego, others may call it being self-centred. Call it what you will, it is not the same as mental illness.

NPD is not always positive in it's manifestation - it is entirely possible for a person with NPD to frame themselves as being worse than everyone else, the least deserving of attention, respect, love, etc.

Of course people with (BDSM-type) dominant traits display some behaviours that are also present in some people who suffer from NPD. To take that a step further and suggest that those dominants are 'narcissists' would, in my view, be both a mistake and a dis-ervice to both groups.

Finally, if the person does suffer from NPD, I would recommend that they are not equipped for a BDSM based relationship* and it could lead to serious problems for the submissive involved. *The fact is, they don't have 'relationships', as other people understand and use that term.

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

Let's all play nicely people.. Just remember.. This is meant to be fun!
"The art of being a gentleman is knowing when not to be..."

As some of my previous posts have touched on... My first relationship and intro to this lifestyle was with someone who i thought was a dominant person. I didnt know about the lifestyle at that time but recognise that kink had always existed within me so i was open to the experience.

Meeting this guy fucked my head up big time.

I realised that some personality thing was going on, but as we all know, there are times in our lives our blindness can conflict so much with our gut instincts

A guy I thought was Dominant, turned out to be submissive. A Split Personality. Crossdresser, Narcassistic, suffering also from OCD and OCPD. So I had to acknowledge the post from @Reversed.

Without doubt this is a dangerous place to be as a submissive. Even now, by finding i am writing this post, it clearly shows it has never left me.

Thank god for finding this site and network.

So to ensure I havnt deviated too much from the OP.. I feel there at times selfish and grandiose parts of both Dominant and submissive. Any extreme of which can be unhealthy for all concerned. We just have to be able to recognise them and make sure our own safety mechanisms are not ruined in the process

VM

M.K.I.O.K.
My challenge is to be myself, in a world that is trying to make me like everyone else......

My last relationship he was a bully but that was what i loved about him strangely enough. How it ended was because his superiority side of his personality came through and he couldnt balance the two. When he came obsessive and thought that was his right to be, there was no where to go in the relationship but to end it.

At the end of the day, we're all human and maybe we expect a lot from other people, even though we're not perfect ourselves?