Punishment? (62)

I couldn't agree more. My Mistress did this to me a few months ago and I HATED it. It's not a game, it horrible.

I have been punished this week. I was strapped hard for not doing what I was told. I'm strapped and whipping for play but when I'm punished it is different. It is very intense and it hurts like hell. There is a big difference.

He doesn't doesn't rage or make a big scene of it- he merely makes me hold my hand out and slaps the back of it- hard.

By having to hold my hand out for him-it makes me reflect upon what I've done to irritate or annoy him, and the sting ensures I don't forget for the rest of the day.

I guess it's the way parents used to slap their children- it's the ultimate message of "enough is enough now pack it in".

Oh no no, i'm not saying i'm unhappy with my situation at all.

I think i would feel it was something articifical to me - but i see how it could be a process for either D or s.

I dunno, the word itself maybe jars with me and i'm just exploring what people think about it or how people use this idea in their relationships.

I think i'm more used to the sort of thing @vMaster_Domina said here:

And i don't say that in a way to sound superior - it's just the way it seems to work for us.

I wonder too, if some of the reason i would find the idea odd or that it wouldn't work, is that as well as being a physical masochist, i am an emotional masochist and i think, apart from genuine disappointment, that being forbidden to go out or made to face the wall or something would get the ole juices flowing.

Maybes i'm just odd.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
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I am the same. I do things because I want to please him and I want to submit to him, and I don't play up on purpose (except in a fun way <s>) because I really wouldn't ever want to disappoint him.

I also like pain, but if he ever wanted to punish me using pain he could, because even if he used my favourite toy to do it, if he told me it was a punishment then it would be and I wouldn't enjoy it at all. So yes, it works for me.

Hope that makes some kind of sense <s>.

honey

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well

Edited 23 Sep 11, 7:26 PM by moltenhoney

I get where you're coming from. Disappointment from/in your partner is a normal (and hopefully occasional) part of a relationship, it doesn't feel like a formal and active process in the way that the concept of punishment does.

I also understand what you're saying about pain. I'm also a masochist and there is something about being in a situation where you feel that choice is removed and you have to take what is coming. You probably get that from your D/s relationship; I get that from CP judicials. But if there was a punishment dynamic in my relationship, I could see how it would become a big red button that I would sometimes be compelled to press.

Personally I find the idea of punishment for real events (rather than role play) a bit squicky. I find it difficult to say exactly why, except I feel it would be overly paternalistic. As an adult, I'm responsible for my own behaviour and nobody has moral authority over me. I'm also my own worst critic, I don't need anyone to tell me when I've done wrong.

I've talked to friends who are in relationships where punishment plays a part. They have a punishment kink: they find the idea of being punished hot. They don't enjoy the punishment itself enjoyable, in fact they hate it, but they are attracted to the rollercoaster of fear/anticipation and the feeling of peace afterwards, and they like the paternalistic element that I find squicky.

What is it about me that makes people want to hit me with things?

Edited 23 Sep 11, 8:37 PM by CateStoker

It definitely works for us - she responds to it as punishment, not "fun pain" or anything like that.

Bit of a dull answer I suppose, but there you go

"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde

That may work for some subs but not others. I think this would only work for me if we were in the same room or building and I knew he was about but ignoring me. However if we were in different places and ignore was the punishment it would not work because I would be busy with other things.

jxx

"Take me from this earth an endless night- this, the end of life. From the dark I feel your lips and taste your bloody kiss."

Punishment is something to be avoided at all costs, but I do know it's there as an option if I really deliberately screw up. Everything else gets discussed.

as a sub i think punishment is a must if i step out of line,something i really dont like and hate.it reminds me of who is in charge and disciplines me for future purposes.i would know not to do what ever i had done wrong again..but its true i dont think a masochist could be punished,theyd enjoy it too much.punishment should be something that you really dont want.but you trust your master that hes making the right choice to make you better as a submissive.x

Because it's generally not just 'a bit of spanking'.

Well, yes, so do I, but you seem to be misunderstanding. She gets punished if she breaks the rules I have set out for her and she understands that breaking the rules has that as a consequence. It's not something I use just randomly.

Punishing a masochist just seems to be inviting bad behaviour to me. I want my slave to be seeking my pleasure, not playing up all the time. Reward for good submission is better than punishment in my book

I would opine that's because you don't know how to do it. @wildhoney put it well:

You just start whacking a masochist and she's not going to take it as a punishment; you sit her down and explain that this is why she's getting beaten, that you're disappointed in her and so on so forth, then if she gives a damn about you and/or the power exchange in the relationshipshe's not going to enjoy it.

See above.

Basically as I am seeink it, Ray, the problem is that you are not callink your girlfriend for five months. You see, the hot babies like to feel wanted. If you are not callink them on the phone for a while, it is like a way of saying "you are worst song, played on ugliest guitar"

Edited 23 Sep 11, 10:36 PM by Grasshopper