Punishment? (62)

So where does punishment fit? I mean, how does it work? I can't really picture it. I got punished once, for hitting him with a cushion, and it wasn't pleasant and i felt all shitty n stuff - but i think it was more to prove a point than to actively discourage cushion-hitty-behaviour.

I know headspace counts for a lot, but i honestly think if i got punished with pain i'd try for it sometimes.

I get the idea of punishment as a game, like role play and stuff - but for those who don't use it like this - does it really work? And how?

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
@LGB_Forum

She's got a punishment outstanding for not going to bed at her alloted time - I was going to tell her she couldn't go to PlaySpace tonight, or Artemis tomorrow, but decided that was TOO mean.

~ It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure ~

I use CP very rarely because I would hope that a sub would serve me willingly, without the need to be beaten into submission. I am more likely to use denial, removal of privilege(s), humiliation or a sharp telling off to let a sub know if they have disappointed me, let me down or done something wrong.

I don't reward a badly behaved sub with something they enjoy and I don't seek masochists to serve me because... if I did I would remove CP from the list of available punishments to use on them, besides CP has very little to do with my style of D/s (I don't like using it but I will if I feel it really necessary).

It works with those who want to please me and those are the sort of subs that I like to spend my time with.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page, you might give the advice that someone needs. / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Sorry is a meaningless word unless it is demonstrated, via actions or a change in behaviour, that it is meant.

What works? Punishment? So do you like punishing then? The whole idea confuses me. I can't imagine real punishment is pleasant for either, but i'm trying to get my head round it all.

I'm thankful it's not really necessary for me, cos i don't know how i'd handle it. Cos for me pain = good, but disappointment = bad, so the combination would freak my little head out i reckon.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
@LGB_Forum

If I HAVE to punish it (as above: denial, removal of privileges, etc.) works because it is usually rare that I feel I need to make use of those punishments and rare for a sub to see me annoyed or disappointed with them... if they are serving me in the way I want them to. I am an open book, I discuss most things with a sub and they learn what is expected of them - if they know how to behave/what to do there should be no need to punish unless they fail or misbehave.

@The_Coven / @The_Problem_Page, you might give the advice that someone needs. / I want the "Moon on a stick and the Stars suspended from bunting". / So many haystacks, so few needles! / Sorry is a meaningless word unless it is demonstrated, via actions or a change in behaviour, that it is meant.

Ahh, that makes sense to me now, thanks

x

Edited for clarity

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
@LGB_Forum

But what if your punishment was purely and genuinely being told what a disappointment you'd been? Surely there'd be no conflict with you then.

How about if instead of pain you were prevented from doing something you enjoy, or made to endure something you didn't?

In your case it might be that pain may be best kept as a pleasurable activity and not used as part of punishment.

I know what you're saying, well i think so anyway, but i think it might miss my point a little. I'm not *just* talking about pain, but the whole issue of 'punishment' in general.

If i have to do something, then he just physically makes me. I can't think of anything i would have to do that he couldn't force me to.

As for things i do that i shouldn't, then yeah, perhaps his disappointment is punishment, it certainly feels shit and makes me not want to do it again, but calling it 'punishment' seems like it's him DOING something to make me feel something, when in actual fact, it's just what i guess is how he feels and when he feels bad, i feel bad.

Am i making sense? I bet i'm not. Sorry, it's Friday. It's been a looooong week.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
@LGB_Forum

I can see people might use the punishment idea if:

1. They embrace the whole domestic discipline fantasy which I don't 2. Enjoy made up role play scenarios such as teacher and schoolgirl. 3. Are maybe not that comfortable with their kink and need an excuse to indulge in sensation play. 4. It is a non sexual relationship, such as pro Domme and client, where the sub enjoys humiliation at the hands of the Domme. 5. People who like bratty subs - i.e. they enjoy the power struggle scenario.

If I had a genuine problem with my slave I'd want to discuss and resolve it, not assume I could enforce my will with corporal punishment.

Punishing a masochist just seems to be inviting bad behaviour to me. I want my slave to be seeking my pleasure, not playing up all the time. Reward for good submission is better than punishment in my book

But lets allow everyone their own take on things

vMaster aka Mike Web Site: http://www.vmaster.me.uk/

Edited 23 Sep 11, 6:24 PM by FreeKinker

No, you're making perfect sense, I think.

So are you saying that you'd prefer punishment to be somewhat more formalised?

Rather than just knowing you've done wrong and the general feeling of disappointment that comes with that, would you prefer that it was specifically highlighted and addressed?

Would you actually want him to do something to you as a clear form of punishment for a specific misbehaviour. Obviously pain wouldn't work but what about something like making you write lines or perhaps an essay on what you did wrong and why you shouldn't do it again.

They're just examples and may not work for you, but hopefully you get my drift.