This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 22 Sep 11, 2:21 PM pinkylucy UK(M), 9 yrs      |
Hi everyone, I'm blatantly looking for empathy here. Does anyone else sometimes feel like this? I had a proper strop last night, and it still seems to be hanging around today. After doing something I knew I wasn't allowed to do and after feeling guilty I then found myself feeling very stroppy and stomping around my house saying, "I don't want to have to do as I'm told!" and pouting a ridiculous amount. I think I even managed to kick my legs on the floor whilst sitting down. I've not actually felt like this before in this relationship so it's a curious feeling. Today I just feel like I want to be able to do what I want when I want. Mostly eat lots of cake and crisps. (Although I carried out my first punishment task within less than a minute of it being given, even though it's boring and annoying, so I quite clearly don't want it that much.) All other experiences gratefully received! "Don't Dream It, Be It" - The Rocky Horror Show 1973 | |
| 22 Sep 11, 2:35 PM SirOpenSource UK(E), 6 yrs    |
I would suggest you are looking more for sympathy than empathy. SOS The Titter group - for when you don't feel too serious. | |
| 22 Sep 11, 2:48 PM pinkylucy UK(M), 9 yrs |
No, I'm looking for empathy. I would like to feel that other people understand what I am experiencing and in turn I would like to feel a shared understanding of their experiences. I don't want people to feel sorry for me as there is nothing in particular to feel sorry about in this situation (apart from what I did wrong, and in that case I'd say the sympathy would be better directed towards my Dominant for having to put up with me! "Don't Dream It, Be It" - The Rocky Horror Show 1973 | |
| 22 Sep 11, 3:20 PM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs |
If submission was easy peasy, the most natural thing in the world to me. I prob. wouldn't want it. I need things to be difficult sometimes an if that means I make them difficult for myself by gettin a strop on then so be it. I personally need the challenge. I need rough an smooth. I need contrast. Like this ? "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" | |
| 22 Sep 11, 4:00 PM JustTony UK(L), 17 mths |
Sometimes it is hard to just obey, it really is. But in a way that is what makes it all the more fulfilling when you do.
I feel sometimes as if most humans are almost genetically designed or hardwired to want to make decisions, and to assert our needs. So in my own case, being submissive is going against the grain of a lot of instinctive and culturally embedded thinking. But we do it because we sort of have to, and it makes us feel good in some way I still don't understand, but vanilla relationships just can't do. You're probably going to get lots of people saying you should just do what the hell you're told, and to some extent that's true. That is the relationship 'deal', in broad terms. And reverse the roles- imagine how you'd feel if your dominant stopped being as controlling as she probably is? How would you feel if you came home from work wondering what you might be required to do, and she simply sighed and said 'I'm not feeling very dominant this week- just do as you please.' Them being dominant towards you is part of their affection for you, and you'd miss it. And likewise perhaps your being submissive is part of your affection for them, so they might miss that submission as much as if you withdrew your more overt demonstrations of affection for them. But on the other hand we are all only human, and dominance/submission are only a part of our characters. Sometimes my gf just wants us to just have a totally vanilla time together or watch a film, and sometimes she wants to be held in my arms like any vanilla woman. Likewise sometimes a submissive will want to be a bit cheeky or assertive, or do what they want to do for a change. For me personally, its part of being human, and shows that the relationship is emotionally grounded. If it happens too often or goes too far then maybe you are not the sort of submissive person you think you are (or want to be), but the odd lapse is surely just being human, and I bet many submissives occasionally struggle with obeying commands from their dominants. (I think what I did there was try to explain to someone how to be a better submissive. Oh f**k! lol) Edited 22 Sep 11, 4:03 PM by JustTony | |
| 22 Sep 11, 4:06 PM takeninhanduk UK(GU), 19 mths £ |
I often feel that way and think its all a part of it. Seems normal to me anyway!xxx | |
| 22 Sep 11, 4:36 PM Naughty_Amelia_Jane UK(WC), 8 yrs |
Oh sweetie, don't worry, it's not just you. I have the exact same problem! Doing what you're told is hard and it's extra hard when you have to do something you don't want to do or aren't allowed to do something you do want to do. I manage it most of the time but I do sometimes give in and do or don't do whatever it is that's against the rules. And then, for a moment, it's lovely to feel the rebellious thrill of disobedience. And that special joyous petulant feeling of 'you can't tell me what to do!' But then I always feel so so guilty afterwards that it usually isn't worth it. Even if the powers that be never find out, (though they invariably do.) And the shame of disappointing them is awful. So I resolve to be 100% good, forever this time, and the battle begins again... sigh.
But it does feel good to be a good girl. And I know all the rules are actually sensible healthy rules. Well... Mostly. Anywayses!!!! You are not alone! Big kisses and lots of luck on being a good girl! Kisses! Amelia Jane xxx | |
| 22 Sep 11, 4:59 PM cheshire_girl1983 UK(SK), 5 yrs |
Nope its not just you. I too am in the middle of an "I don't want to and you can't make me" strop..... (despite the fact that He can and will make me).
Today I had some nice jobs to do, (making a jewellery wishlist and choosing some naughty new toys), and a boring, stupid, tedious, useless job to do (look for a job and do at least one application).
Now I have tried.....I really have tried....to work up the enthusiasm to fill in yet another job application form, singing my own praises and informing the organisation what an asset I would be, but I'm sick of it!
I don't want to....not today.....not this weekend....and probably not monday either!
I'll do some next week, I really really will! But why do I have to do one today? Its not fair (leg stomp)! Needless to say, I havent completed this task, and as He is due home within the hour I doubt I will complete it (especially if I waste time on IC). So at some point this evening I am "in for it" big time.....weirdly I am not looking forward to it......yet I have to wonder why I put myself in this position if I didn't want to be punished? Silly ol' me. | |
| 22 Sep 11, 5:31 PM inappropriate  UK(CF), 3 yrs |
I totally, totally get this. I don't even really 'do' non-sexual D/s, but there are still times when I don't want to do what I'm told, but if I wasn't made to do them, I'd feel all out of kilter... xxx | |
| 22 Sep 11, 6:52 PM suspension_slut UK(M), 2 yrs |
I can also completely emphathise with this...whilst i'm generally obedient and will focus on the doms wants/need occassionally i will slip up (in fact i did it only this morning) and focus on me but i often think that the relationships would be much less fun if you were perfect all of the time (or at least thats what i tell myself lol). | |
| 22 Sep 11, 7:38 PM fellatrix UK, 2 yrs |
i want to do as I'm told, I really do. But sometimes I wish what he tells me to do was more in step with what I want to do, if that makes sense. |
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