Tom Robinson..radio 4 (3)

Tom Robinson - It's my story, BBC Radio 4, first broadcast 19-09-2011

Title: "Getting By"

At 15 Tom Robinson says he had the first pangs of love for a boy at school so he concluded he was gay but dated girls to be part of the accepted crowd. After leaving school he embraced being gay fully for the following 10 years and in his twenties made a song and dance about how gay he was ("Glad to be Gay", TOTP top 20 hit). He was interviewed on Newsnight in 1978 after the song had made it into the UK top 20 and after that publicly being gay turned more difficult.

In 1983, on Claire Raynor's "Casebook" he disclosed he was bisexual. Then it was a bombshell and today it is still a topic rarely discussed and a topic frequently misunderstood. Tom Robinson explains he was unprepared to fall in love with a woman and his word for it was 'convenient'. He got on with his life but a problem existed in other people's minds especially the gay community who viewed it as betrayal. The British tabloids went to town with an 'outspoken gay singer falls in love with woman' type of story, it was a tabloid's dream about a gay man who had turned straight. It was a PR disaster such that in a Pride concert in 1987 he was booed by the audience for being what he was.

The programme asks if the 'B' in the acronym 'LGBT' is equal to each of 'L', 'G', 'T' - ie is there tolerance of being bi? For bi people who are out jibes by non-bi people come from the confusion with the notion of duality of attraction. A married man with a couple of kids explains that his friends say to him he can't possibly be bi because he's married with a couple of children. Or out bi members of the gay community are told "what it is is you're gay but you don't want to admit it to yourself". Online LGT dating websites also often have ads which include the statement "no bisexuals". Ultimately you have to ask - is this bi-phobia?

What does research amongst all types of people about what people understand 'bi' to be reveal? Is it just a label for a cop out - for the indecisive? When you ask people about bisexuality they only talk about one-gendered sexual attraction; they're unable to talk about bi as its own sexuality. Bi seems to be a curiously invisible sexuality. Stonewall found 46% of bi women hadn't come out at work, 54% of bi men hadn't. The invisibility and inability to talk about bi extends into how bi is represented in erotica it's shown as either one man with two women or two men with one women - ie a group scene with bi-by-implication.

Bisexuals can socialise in gay and straight company but know that disclosing the full range of their sexual tastes doesn't make you popular. The only comfortable place for bisexuals is amongst bisexuals so a network of bi support groups is starting in the UK. The programme visits the Brum Bi group - and airs the views and experience of 2 or 3 single and married bi men and women. One women gives the name of a website to help bi women - www.shybi.com and mentions there's similar for men too (shybi-guys.com).

Going back to academic research, in 1975, in the US, a research study announced its conclusions that bisexuality in men didn't exist. Last year, in 2010, in the US, another study said it did. Recent academic research split between the US and UK found that the average bi male is in a heterosexual relationship, is not on the LGBT scene and exists wholly in a heterosexual world. The programme observes that sexuality isn't just physical attraction but emotional attraction too and men who're able to know themselves know they do feel attraction to other men emotionally while not being physically attracted at all.

The programme also asked people in the street about bisexuality and the range of opinions was as you'd expect from a sample of the general population - positive and negative opinions of varying degrees. What about notable storylines featuring bisexuality? Only one was mentioned - Capt Jack Harkness of Torchwood. For the context of female bi all which was discussed was the prevalence of female bi in straight male fantasies and the problem that that causes on dating sites as males get myopic about 3-in-a-bed type fantasies. It was mentioned that historically bi was considered common-place in Greek and Roman times with notable historic names who are perceived as having been bi being: Alexander the Great, Casanova, Shakespeare, Lord Byron. Other names mentioned were Oscar Wilde, Elton John and George Melly.

That's the end of the programme ... and the great thing about modern TV and radio programmes is all the links which are provided for follow-up and "if you've been affected by this programme".

So the resources provided afterwards are here:

Links mined because I listened hard and asked Google:

For female bi www.shybi.com for male bi shybi-guys.com

Link for program's page

iPlayer link until 26-SEP-2011

bi by me

I wonder sometimes if LG is the right home for 'B' because bis are heterosexual as well.

Bi really is its own thing and it feels no more at home to be posting in LG as it does in H - in each instance it's only ever possible to tell half a story.

"Fork handles?" "No, not 'fork handles' ... four candles."

I agree, it is its own thing @Top_Class. However I think it's hard to seperate it out sometimes. There aren't many, or in some places any, spaces for bisexuals right now. So many bisexuals remain hidden and/or don't organise themselves or stand up to be counted in the way that gay and lesbian people have over the years. Until things change though, I personally still feel I have to live in half lifes with each side.

I really enjoyed that radio programme and was absolutely delighted that the BBC made some bi-related content for once.

I felt it was a shame that it was only 30 minutes long though, it was like it just scratched the surface. I don't remember hearing any mention of Bi-Con and Bi Community News for example. Two big parts of the bisexual community in the UK. I also thought it was a shame that the experiences people shared were all of people realising they were bisexual later in life, or after spending at least a decade thinking they were homosexual. What about the people who've grown up always knowing? For me, the focus on the former kind of unintentionally re-inforced the impression the bisexuals are confused, indecisive or go through phases.

I thought it did a really good job showing how much biphobia and discrimination bisexual people have to live with. The statistics highlighted the issues well too. I hope it inspired more bisexuals to get out there and join their local groups or start their own. I hope it made a lot of people aware of the issues and maybe change the the way they act or think in regards to other sexualities.

I plan on writing a letter to the BBC to thank, congratulate and encourage them to produce more bi content!

Hannah

x

@LGB_Forum

You've inspired me to write in too!

Speaking as a lesbian who used to ID as Bi for many years, I get infuriated when gay friends of mine (and it rarely seems to be straight ones) dismiss bisexuals as not fully part of the LGBT community. While there can be differences and some bi people feel their idenity is quite distinct from gay people, the queer community can only benefit from mixing with a broad range of people.

'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative'