This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Fri 9 Sep 11, 8:54 PM Merrick 3 yrs  |
I've recently been wondering about the D/s dynamic. I've noticed, especially in the weblogs, the referral to doms/dommes as Him or Her. Lots of use of my Master/Sir or my Mistress, in what's pretty much a blog of fairly mundane and everyday context. Whilst I'm not into what I see as crawling subservience through using such terminology, I'm not criticising those who do; each to their own. I'm sure those who do have perfectly understandable reasons for doing so, for how the particular dynamic works for them. However... Doesn't proof of a more stronger and substantial D/s relationship exist when such terminology becomes completely unnecessary? Every man dies. Not every man really lives. Edited Sat 10 Sep 11, 11:41 AM by Merrick | |
| 9 Sep 11, 8:59 PM Graci_e UK, 5 yrs  |
i use the caps for Him cos i feel more comfortable using it - He has never asked/told me to and He doesn't care about it but for me it's a sign of respect. i also switch between calling Him Sire, Domly One and His real name - Sire is used for fet situations again as a sign of respect. He is after all my owner i should show Him some  Wwe have a great D/s relationship and a plain old relationship whatever one of them looks like. i referred to Him as Sir til i got to a place where He wanted me to refer to Him as Sire so for me it's a sign of how far Oour relationship has come and developed. | |
| 9 Sep 11, 8:59 PM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs       |
But if they like it, then how so? Couldn't you say the same for physical BDSM activity? For me, that's a sign of our different positions within our relationship and this is something we both enjoy, same as the use of little 'i' in most posts of mine. To be fair we don't do much capitalising for him, but the little 'm' of mia and little 'i' often used is just part of us so i don't see why it'd go? x Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:00 PM Red_Spark UK(LE), 5 yrs |
While some people do have a formal dynamic all the time, also sometimes people are more formal in writing than in their speech. For instance my slave tends to refer to his Mistress or Owner when writing in a specifically kinky context like here, but doesn't use those titles to me in speech anywhere near as often. "Be quiet and come with me. I won't betray you." | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:01 PM Anneski UK(BA), 2 yrs |
Don't see why - nor why there should have to be any 'proof'. Like you said earlier in your post, each to their own, and that definitely includes their not having to prove how strong their relationship is, or disprove it, by use of titles/terms of endearment Personally I don't capitalise cos it annoys me, but I do quite enjoy calling my domly one "Sir" - and I'm certainly not grovelling to him by doing it, in fact often I'm being cheeky, lol! Anyway, nope, my feelings are that there's no corrolation between terms of address, and length/strength of relationship.
Anneski | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:06 PM Merrick 3 yrs |
Hey - whatever works for you - and I'm glad it does! For me personaly, I'd feel greater respect for such terminolgy being unnecessary; because of who I am, because of what I do, because of what I FEEL from my partner. Just sayin' like...
Every man dies. Not every man really lives. | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:11 PM Merrick 3 yrs |
If you both like it, and it works, then great! I ask what I did because it's only from my own perspective of it all. I'm sure most people in a D/s relationship who use such terminolgy can look each other in the eye and measure the shared and mutual respect. I'd rather just see and feel the shared respect without it's use. the respect would become more authentic for me in such circumstances.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives. | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:13 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
I don't think it is possible to surmise that a use of He/She or Master/Mistress means that a D/s relationship has not reached a deep and lasting state. My sub refers to me as Mistress in some posts ( but not all, it isn't a rule I have imposed) and tends to capitalise She when referring to me. This is a sign of the respect he feels for me and pride he feels in his role and place as my sub. I think he might also feel it is a useful shorthand way to give instant comprehensibility to what he writes. No one can be under any misapprehension who I am, what my inclination is and where paul fits on the bdsm framework. Using capitalisation or honorifics in otherwise mundane blogs may actually be a sign of the strength of a D/s relationship. To use those things in a natural way, simply, and consistently may be a sign of how deeply embedded they have become in a persons way of expressing themselves. On a bdsm website, I would think it is perfectly reasonable and understandable that a sub may wish to use forms of expression other readers will identify with or accept. It is not about crawling subservience or at least not in paul's case. It is about sense of identity and pride. A Fine Norfolk Domme. Mistress of @paulss My PD blog at http://mistress-keene.blogspot.com/ | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:14 PM Merrick 3 yrs |
Fair enough. I'd be all over the text with the red pen like a tramp on chips though.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives. | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:16 PM Peccavi 4 yrs |
I quite like the title 'She Who Wishes To Obey'. | |
| 9 Sep 11, 9:16 PM Merrick 3 yrs |
Mine too. So why use them... Every man dies. Not every man really lives. |
