This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Sat 27 Aug 11, 3:18 PM vixylix 2 yrs |
Hi guys! Hubby and I are going to a club next month (my second, his first) and we are both very excited. I was just wondering what exactly goes on because my experience of the club I went to was with blinkers on...I was focused solely on the Domme I attended with and didn't pay attention to much of what was going on around me. Plus we left rather early. So this time we feel like we are kind of on our own and I think we might end up playing (if the mood takes us). What we were wondering is what exactly is the limit to play in a club? Obviously I know people engage in play such as being restrained, teased, spanked, flogged, caned, etc. I was just wondering what people deem as appropriate beyond that. *Blushing as I write this* Do people do sexual stuff too amongst the play? Fingers in places, and naughty stuff like that as part of their play or save that stuff for when they are at home? *Mega blush now!!!*
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| 27 Aug 11, 3:23 PM lilybee  UK(TN), 5 yrs     |
There isn't a set answer for this. Each club and dynamic is different. The best thing to do is have a look at the club you are going too. See what their rules are in the first place, they will often list them on the events page or a link to them from there. Once you have found out which club it is then read a little of the previous threads which will tell you a bit about the people who go. You could try memoing some of them and asking their advice too. If you really can't find out anything about the venue before you go then I'd say take your time when you are there. Watch others and if in doubt ask the DM's or club organisers for some advice. They should on the whole be welcoming and helpful. Good luck and don't forget to enjoy it! lily | |
| 27 Aug 11, 3:26 PM clubslut UK(B), 4 yrs  |
It depends on the rules of the club. The best thing to do is contact the organiser of the club you are planning to go to. A friend with a flogger/cane/crop/pinwheel/violet wand/set of needles/strap on/etc. is a friend indeed Edited 27 Aug 11, 3:27 PM by clubslut | |
| 27 Aug 11, 3:28 PM Master091071 UK(GL), 21 mths |
Hi Vixy Lix Now this question is always an emotive one, for some people no sexual contact is a must and for others it is all about being restrained etc which then leads onto sexual contact. I believe it is all down to personal preference. My sub and I have been to a few clubs and always check with the venue and organiser whether there is an area set aside for sexual contact or whether sexual contact is allowed at all in the club. My sub loves to be restrained, used and forced sexually and therefore we always look for clubs that offer a facility where this can happen. We are also attending an event next month and the club others an area where things can come to a "natural" conclusion. As the dom, I always explain the situation/scenario to anyone that I decide to invite to join us. As I say, this is the way we play and I am sure you will get varying feedback.... We hope you have a wonderful time..x
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| 27 Aug 11, 3:35 PM vixylix 2 yrs |
Thanks guys for your advice. I will indeed contact the club and see what they say (never thought of that - doh!)
Thanks again
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| 27 Aug 11, 3:35 PM slave_mumble UK(AL), 22 mths |
Not all clubs are the same, however from what you have written i would say that in the majority of cases you will have no problems as the play you hint of would be acceptable if made in appropriate play areas.
Hygiene is a potential consideration so wipes etc might be an idea, although often supplied. And of course respect for the venue and its equipment/furnishings. (common sense should apply here) Some clubs have open play of all sorts, while some others have private areas or rooms. Other clubs simply vary dependant on the vibe on certain evenings. A few clubs have a stricter policy, (often those selling themselves as stictly BDSM) and in my experience they will state this on their website. However i should add that play that involves sexual elements is quite different to play that is prodominantly sexual. As others have said you will probably get the 'feel' of the club and that fact you have thought about this and started such a thread im sure you would be sensitive to the general atmosphere. Generally accepted is that all play is sane and consentual, people are not influenced by drugs or alcohol; and certain acts of the messy kind (W/S Scat) are generally not accepted unless its specifically something the venue has set out for. Activities that draw blood.. - check with the club, clearly care needs to be taken here. sharing of equipment is rare so bring your own where possible. Edited 27 Aug 11, 8:47 PM by slave_mumble | |
| 27 Aug 11, 3:35 PM submitman1 UK(SS), 6 yrs |
At the risk of repeating the other excellent advice i would call the organisers and ask. If you are going to a genuine BDSM event and club, as opposed to a swingers club with a some dungeon furniture around the place, then full sexual activity is not normally allowed, in some clubs full nudity is frowned upon but others have private rooms for those who are on the brink of exploding! You will find that in a BDSM club there are very friendly people who will not be shocked if you engage them in conversation and will be only to happy to explain the club rules. Have FUN.
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die. | |
| 27 Aug 11, 4:03 PM Mentor_2012 UK(PO), 4 yrs |
When you attend a new venue it is often a good idea to take the time to "suss out" what is going on, working out who is who, the ones to look out for and the ones to avoid and the what is where. Soaking up the atmosphere and meeting the peeps ( and learning where the loos, refreshment areas and changing rooms are etc. ) is a good idea. That's not to say that you should not play, but checking out the place, finding out which rooms permit "Private/Sexual" play, which dungeons are used for which purposes etc. is also a good strategy. I was totally "blown away" during my first few visits to Clubs and learnt as much by "looking" as I ever did, at that time, by doing. | |
| 27 Aug 11, 8:26 PM Beau_Tox UK(CB), 7 yrs  |
S.E.X.ual play? In a BDSM club? You filthy dirty PERVERTS!!
When I fucked your mum, she said you were always *much* better. | |
| 27 Aug 11, 8:41 PM kinky_kitty UK(LE), 5 yrs |
Thank you for posting this! It is always one of the things I wonder about, don't have the balls to ask, and end up staying home as a result! Our play tends to be pretty sexual, and I'm never quite sure how the rules go about this. Xx
Open up your eyes. You keep on crying baby, I'll bleed you dry. | |
| 27 Aug 11, 8:52 PM Goddess_Asphyxia UK, 3 yrs |
PHWOAR !!.....squeals Goddess as she bends and rubs her knees 'Taste the whip, in love, not given lightly......taste the whip, now plead for Me !' |
