Owning Your Service? (52)

It was about who is the service actually for and who decides when, where and what the service should look like. For example, if you always do your D's shoes up, but one day s/he does them instead, how do you feel? How should you feel?

I know when he does things that I normally do it makes me feel funny, sometimes even a bit rejected. Stupid perhaps?

Anyway, I just wondered how others felt?

(This is written on my phone, so please excuse any formatting/spelling whoopsies)

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
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Sounds as if a great many waiters and waitresses across the UK could benefit from this course!

IE if your Dom keeps taking you servicess to do himself then in a wierd way he be comes gradually sub

urm,,

kinda

Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish

Excuse me, im thick

Excuse me, im thick

Does offering a service mean you then own it? Control it? Decide exactly how and when it's delivered? In some situations, maybe, but within an M/s context why would the server be dictating the terms? Perhaps you just own the 'offer' of the service. How often and how that service is received is decided by the D, surely? If they choose to not require that service one day, that's their decision, you cannot enforce providing it, or force them to receive it, or even feel justified in feeling rejected by not being allowed to provide it, instead your service shifts to providing a different service i.e. you are now abiding by the D's whim to not receive that from you today.

But, if your D does a task themselves because they are perhaps cross with you, and as a punishment, they exclude you from doing that task, then that's different and I can understand feelings of rejection/hurt etc (which would be exactly the point they were trying to make, presumably).

Don't tell me "No", when your cock says "Yes".

Here's an example of balancing out from my own situation: (so fresh its still hot) - Mrs Grownup -Frankie went to bed about half an hour ago, now usually thats it for the night as far as me being 'on duty' goes, and I have some me time, but she has just called for a slice of toast, and I left my ic-ing for a few minutes to make her one, with plenty of butter, sliced in half, and presented on a red heart shaped plate.

This little act of service makes up for the 'very mixed' feelings I had earlier today when I came home from doing the shopping.

Having had to wait to collect some prescriptions for Mrs GUF I was running twenty or so minutes late to make her lunch. She had finished work earlier than usual as it was my birthday and as I'm a creature of routine I hadn't quite realised the consequences of letting her arrive home before me. Usually she comes home at 2pm and her hot lunch is timed to be ready as I hear the key turn in the door.

Of course I had a menu planned for the whole day, a light cooked lunch (white fish), then a nice ham salad for tea, as she is trying to reduce weight. The first thing she told me as I stepped through the door was that she was hungry and had eaten the ham I had planned to give her at dinner time. Thus completely throwing my carefully thought-out menu to the wind. I had to go out again (after I'd made lunch) to get an alternative meal for dinner. (I had trout in, which would have done fine as an alternative to ham to go with the salad, but not when she had already had fish for lunch.)

As I say - mixed feelings - but...ours is not to reason why.

*smile*

(realised I did not say this - the 'mixed feelings' arose from my, ah, my 'propriatorialness' in the kitchen.

Edited 27 Aug 11, 12:46 PM by Grownup_Frankie

stick with the more beer,, im likeing your thinking

edited to put in more letters

Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish

Edited 25 Aug 11, 11:54 PM by MisstressvsSolicedog

It is for your Dom (or client if this course was vanilla.)

The parameters are surely decided by the Dom. However I would expect the sub to use imagination and enterprise in trying to provide a good service.

Who "owns" the service?

This sounds like a strange concept - "ownership" of service. Service is part of submission. Done well it helps a sub to embrace submission and please the Dom. It is for the Dom - to meet his needs. However this is balanced in meeting the sub's need to serve.

Surely service in a D/s context is part of the responsibility to give pleasure to a Dom and meet needs. That service will please the Dom and fulfil the role of the sub.

If a Dom chooses to meet his own needs that should not be a worry to a sub unless she is feeling very vulnerable or unneeded.

Pygar (Beau) - A Kind Dom

Service, howsoever it's received or given is a bit of a moving target isn't it? I mean simply, that some specific elements might be transient by their nature and others more defined by tablets of, or better put, corner stones, within a bedrock of duty.

Within both, there will be norms and there will be passing or fleeting subliminal norms that are attended to, but not necessarily falling under a service banner?

And then of course, you have to factor in two key elements on the part of the recipient. Their capacity to hurt or to reinforce being a pedant by nature?

I admit that in the past, waking before my partner, slipping quietly into the shower, out of our home and going to work was just fantastic as it started her day with total failure. The first text when she awakened was always entertaining. But waking me in a certain manner was a duty and not ever negotiable. Other elements were deliberately left ambiguous until ambiguity needed clarity

I think Apis Mellifera has put it really well too.

Hey, if you feel rejected or stupid, then buck up on delivering, but you should know that they might not be too apoplectic about whatever it was and quietly smirking at your discomfort to boot.

So go and lace them properly.

I thought it was very clever the way they turned "Owning your service" round (it was a bullet-point on a list of topics they were covering.)

"Owning your service" sounds like some kind of motivational phrase - maybe like "owning your mistakes" or "owning your fears" - but they were using it the other way round, as in "your dominant owns your service" and expanding on the idea of submissives not becoming attached or feeling entitled about service, as it too is a privilege that can be withdrawn.

:T:

www.tanos.org.uk
www.bridgewood.org.uk
www.ownership-possession.com