BDSM an unconventional scene? (16)

I think this is an interesting question.

As others have said, norms happen within any group because that's the essense of a community I guess.

I do find it interesting as a paradox that something that is perhaps outside of (apparantly) societies norms comes with it's own "norms" once you get into it. But then the scene is also fairly diverse too with people of all ages and backgrounds getting involved and all for different reasons. Like I find it interesting how there are groups within groups like how some people are more drawn to the S and M side of things whilst others might identify with O and P a lot more and even within these things there are even more "subgroups".

Yeah, interesting stuff

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

I posed the question, or statement as it may be read, out of curiosity to see the responses and a genuine need to understand if my general impression of the 'scene' was accurate. When I began to foray into the BDSM scene I, perhaps naively, thought it would be an adventure playground of sorts. Sex is the most natural thing in the world and as such had hoped that the 'scene' would be a platform of consenting free sexual expression. Having spent time reading on the site its seemed to me that many people are tied up ('scuse the pun) in the pigeon-holing or confines of conventions and can be quite aggressive toward anything that challenges this. I have an academic interest in cultural constructs and the debate of what is innate in us as humans and what in our behaviour is dictated by the culture western humans have created. My thoughts lie akin to totallycoverme in that its interesting to find groups within groups and norms developing within any environment that promotes or creates community. I guess each individual has different paradigms within which they operate to express themselves. And every individual has a different level of need for frameworks within which to feel secure and define their identity. Some may see it as a lifestyle and not expression of the self, I don't know. Therein lies the uniqueness of us all and I guess therein lies my query. We are all individuals and it's heartening to read views that reflect this.

I shall now go and dowse myself in anticipation of the flames which will undoubtedly be called upon to shoot me down.

Edited 22 Aug 11, 1:25 PM by Pervylicious

This is a website where most people want to fit in to an extent this helps to 'normalise' behaviour probably more so than is actually reflected in peoples relationships, although I would argue that here more than anywhere peoples conventions are against pigeon holing (themselves/people on the site) at least when asked outright. Of course there are subtle chastisements to help create the feeling of unity and similarity.

I think the only innate thing is the desire humans have to explain, which tends to lead to boxing things, creating patterns and the like. Thing is the individual aims to either fit or deliberatly not fit, and for those trying not to fit they still, in general terms, want to fit in with their peers. Same with many counter cultures such as goths or criminals or gangs, they still create the safety of a community.

I do think it is made worse by the internet, or even by trying to make this a community when it needs not be. Having said that, how we speak about our own behaviour is often not actually reflected in what we do.

vMaster aka Mike Web Site: http://www.vmaster.me.uk/

Fukk yeah!

Oh Yes....and the sun will set for YOU.