What Do The Terms Mean To You? (16)

• Gay sexually attracted to members of the same sex
• Lesbian females sexually attracted to females
• Bi(sexual)being attracted to both sexes to some degree
• Queer an insult normally aimed at gay men, also 'strange' or 'weird' although it is another word that is being reclaimed to some extent
• Pansexual a term that seems more enlightened but really is the same as how most self identifying bisexuals mean the term
• Dyke mostly a woman who resorts to sleeping with women due to an inability to 'get' a man (the way that I have mostly seen it used anyway) an insult, could also be butch, although more and more gay women self identify with this term

Gay - usually someone who is exclusively (or almost exclusively) attracted to their own sex/gender. However, some LGB folk use 'gay' as a catch-all phrase for people who are LGB, or who have romantic/sexual attraction to their own sex/gender.

Lesbian - usually a female identifying person (cis- or otherwise) who is exclusively (or almost exclusively) sexually and/or romantically attracted to other female identifying people. I have met lesbians who have dated/slept with men and these men have been rather surprising exceptions. I don't think that makes these women any less lesbian if they still feel lesbian. I would, however, be wary of 'lesbians' who frequently dated/slept with/fell in love with men. Some might say 'lesbian' is a political or cultural identity as well as a sexual orientation, but I do think words need some consistency of use. Bi(sexual) - Bisexuals are sexually attracted to two genders/sexes/gender identities. No more, no less. Bi- means two and I'm rather set on this point. Bisexuals are not necessarily attracted to men and women, they might be attracted to any combination of two identities. Most bisexuals (that I have met) are attracted to cis-gendered men and cis-gendered women and this seems to be the way the term is meant in non-LGB circles. Given this definition, bi-romantic is self explainitory and 'bi' is anyone who defines within the bi-sexual and bi-romantic bubble.

Queer - complicated one. It can mean so many things. Some still use it as an insult, but the LGBT community has rather reclaimed it recently. Queer can mean: someone who doesn't want to use a specific label, someone who doesn't see themselves as fitting a more specific label, someone who doesn't think their sexuality is anyone else's business, someone whose gender doesn't fit any other label, someone who doesn't think their gender is anyone else's business. Some also see 'queer' as a specific identity and not a way of avoiding/dealing with a lack of suitable identity. A friend of mine is 'queer' because she's a lesbian who sleeps with men and uses 'queer' to mean 'a more traditional identity, with a few differences'. I'm sure there are more definitions than that but I'm a little rusty on 'queer theory'! I have met cis-gendered heterosexuals who publically identify as queer because it's a way of keeping their identity private for social or political reasons.

Pansexual - sexual attraction to . . . everyone. What a pansexual means by 'everyone' is a matter of self-definition. I'm functionally pansexual but because I've encountered pansexuals who are not exclusively attracted to humans, and not exclusively attracted to adults, I use the term 'anthrosexual' for my own identity, with the qualification that I'm only interested in consenting relations with adults. Most pansexuals are not attracted to children or animals! Pan/anthrosexuals are either actively attracted to some/all genders/sexes/gender identities or they are 'gender blind' and don't factor gender into attraction. I'm between the two. I find some genders and gender presentations very sexy, and others I totally ignore or am 'blind' to and don't consider the gender when thinking about how attractive someone is.

Don't you just love goodbyes?

Your post also highlighted to me that i really am bisexual. I am attracted to women and to men and have yet to see or meet anyone who is not what i would consider a male or a female who i have been attracted to.

It's funny how although there are general terms which can be generally understood, we all have our own much more precise definitions.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P
@LGB_Forum

It is a rather invasive and clinical term, though. I can understand the dislike of it!

Don't you just love goodbyes?

Edited 10 Sep 11, 4:26 PM by Alyss_Abyss

You're really special and geeky. How did I end up with a chemist again?

'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative'