LGB_Forum's profile . LGB_Forum group posts
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| secretsmile_101 |
Do you prefer mixed or seperate events?
I don't mind so much. I find at the mixed events I go to there are a lot of LGB folk around anyway and I've never experienced any prejudice or discrimination.
I love ladies only events though. Plus it's nice not to have older and/or creepy men around!
It would be nice to meet more gay & bi men at events, but I think they tend to stick to their own scene. (Would love to hear your thoughts about this if this applies to you. Or am I mistaken? If so please correct me! : )
Hannah
x
| 1 Aug 11, 11:10 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
I've yet to go to a ladies-only event, but should I find a girl-thing to go with and look after me at, I'd lovelovelove to go to one! There's always one, and if I'm in the vicinity, it's probably me. | |
| 2 Aug 11, 8:02 AM Miss_Swoons UK(M), 4 yrs |
Cross over the hills to SM Dykes Manchester!! There are a number of Yorkshire folks who come to our events.
Secretsmile I agree about gay men sometimes appearing to sticking to their 'side' at mixed SM events. There was a BDSM night out in Northwich that seemed a bit more mixed. A number of ex male partners used to attract quite clear attention from some quite clearly gay/bi men in Legends at Lash Surprisingly for a gay venue on Lash nights there aren't as many gay guys out as on other nights at Legends/the outpost. I have been last femme standing amongst a crowd of rather old-fashioned leather types flagging some very specific hankies. I seem to remember a rather barrel-chested tall hairy guy approaching my personal space to tell me how brave I was!..(?!!) While I do like events that encourage free and easy mixing I do quite like women only events like Lash for Lasses, this year's one was awesome.
'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative' | |
| 3 Aug 11, 4:08 PM MixAndMatch UK(S), 3 yrs       |
Certainly in my experience it's been a separate scene. I've met about 200 people at munches in the past year, and there were lots straight men and women, lots of bi women, quite a few lesbians, some bi/flexible men who were mostly really into women (apart from the ubitquitous "forced-bi" fantasies), and only two gay-identified men. I've spotted a handful of gay male tops on IC, but not so many - it's notable that most discussions seem to be based around m-f or f-f interactions on here. Gay men just don't seem to come to the same things! I found this quite confusing, as most of the vanilla gay guys I know have had at least one experience of SM, and almost all of them have at least as much awareness of SM practices as you'd expect from a member of a site like IC. It appears, though, that gay men seem to be too busy having sex and playing to come to munches. I've found a busy and vibrant play-oriented scene, with people travelling all over the country to play on a first meet. I think this is because men tend to be a bit more focussed on "getting down to it", and if you're pairing up two guys, they're less likely to want to wait and get to know each other before playing.
I realise there are clubs in London, SMGays, and events like Club-Alert in Manchester, but there really doesn't seem to be a scene for gay men like the straight scene. Or if there is, I'd love someone to show me where it is It can be a little confusing, as all the terms used are different. I talked about impact play the other day, and got blank looks until I explained what I meant. Instead of "painslut", the usual term is "pain-pig". Yuk. And when I mentioned going to a munch, I was asked, "So, is it called a munch because you munch on pussy there?" Another major difference is that there seems to be a much bigger emphasis on clothing fetishes, and many guys like to play with as many clothes on as possible! It's great for finding play partners - if you want a bottom (or top) for a spot of bondage, cp play, or pretty much anything you can think of, it's possible to line one up for the weekend. Where this isn't quite so good, though, is for finding partners for D/s relationships. There are lots of subs saying they want a "master" or who'll say they're looking to serve, but this is usually more the standard horny male sub "I want you to do xyz to me" stuff.
I think I'm rather lucky to found that a gay friend I like is also kinky and submissive, and things look like they're going rather well in that direction This may all be wrong, of course; it's just my experience so far. @SouthYorkshireMunch 4th Sunday of each month Also on fetlife | |
| 3 Aug 11, 5:12 PM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs     |
When i was single, i liked being able to go to single sex events, but now since being in a relationship with a man, it's much less important. In fact, i don't tend to like going to events without him, so bi/gay/women only events are pretty much out. I do miss the Manchester Ladies Munch though, which although wasn't a lesbian/bi event, was a women only thing, which i enjoyed. x Spelling edited Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people Edited 3 Aug 11, 5:16 PM by mia | |
| 4 Aug 11, 12:27 AM pinkylucy UK(M), 9 yrs |
I've always been happy to go to mixed events but have also always appreciated women only space. Nowadays though it's more of a queer mix, with what is sometimes referred to as 'women's space' actually being women's and trans guys space, which has both it's plus and minus points. I'm not actually aware of any BDSM space at the moment which is women only.
On a couple of occasions I've been in space that was essentially a gay male space but was allowing women in (we're talking several hundred gay men and about a dozen women.) I quite liked the atmosphere of that for a change too cos it was so down and dirty and sleazy in a hot way. "Don't Dream It, Be It" - The Rocky Horror Show 1973 Edited 4 Aug 11, 12:28 AM by pinkylucy | |
| 8 Aug 11, 10:37 PM Hartless UK(S), 2 yrs  |
I do love general munches/clubs and the mix of people you find at them but sometimes I'm more girl-oriented and start to crave female environments and female company. I'm beginning to realise that although my partners tend to be male, I'm more attracted to women in general and pursuing friendships with women has become more important to me, probably because I tend to have a greater number of men in my life. I enjoy having the option to go to women's only spaces although if I had to choose one or the other, I'd choose mixed purely for a wider variety of people. Resistance is futile. | |
| 6 Nov 11, 7:00 PM DT1974 UK(TN), 8 yrs |
Hi folks! It really depends as I like both for different reasons. I do seem to find that generally gay guys will avoid mixed events, but I really enjoy going to mixed rope events as its more about tying than who is being tied, however places like the Hoist and Backstreet have a different appeal for me. I don't have exclusively gay friends so why would I want exclusively gay fetish friends? I really should get up to London Alternative Market again. =================================================== =========== |
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Overall, though, the scene seems less well-suited to forming D/s-oriented relationships, because of the lack of a social scene beyond hookups.