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| NANA777 |
I noticed that there are many people who said they are handsome/good looking/attractive on their profile.
For nearly three years since I got into the BDSM scene in UK, I have met a quite a lot of people at events on the scene and one-to-one basis when interviewing slaves/subs. However, I rarely have met people who describe themselves as handsome/good looking/attractive AND they are actually handsome/good looking/attractive(to me).
I thought those kind of qualities are something only other people could decide. I would never dreamt of saying myself pretty/beautiful/attractive...seriuosly.
Of course it is up to each person's preference. I said I have rarely met handsome/good looking/attractive ones who says they are, but that's just only my opinion about them directly related to my preference. Someone's 'average' could be another one's 'handsome' and vice versa! But that's why I think it is totally meaningless to put such words on the profile.
Why do people put that kind of words on their profile? I am just curious... Mind you, I am not blaming people who put them on their profile at all. Just curious, that's all!
It might possibly be just a cultural difference. I can imagine, in my country(Japan), if you describe yourself as such on the profile, you would get a reaction like 'Oh, who do you think you are?!'. Then you would be reckoned as a shamelessly stupid person.
Same goes to the words like 'intelligent'. The person who meet you decides if you are intelligent or not.
Am I the only one who thinks like that here???
| 21 Jul 11, 3:56 AM BitziVonMuffling UK(PL), 7 yrs |
no you are not the only person who thinks like that ,i think its up to other people to decide, id never dream of describing myself as such. to do that would seem rather i dont know vain maybe . Why did nature create man? Was it to show she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance? | |
| 21 Jul 11, 6:28 AM number_7 UK(SG), 10 yrs  |
Well Nana, I describe myself as 'not handsome' in my profile and you already know that I am not lying! | |
| 21 Jul 11, 10:24 AM Rhoobarb UK(FK), 12 yrs |
I agree. I also feel the same way about the word "genuine" which a lot of people write on their profile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| 21 Jul 11, 11:43 AM Elven_Eyes UK, 5 yrs |
I agree. I think profiles should show a person's interests and personality. Chemistry- things like funny, attractive, intelligent- are opinions to be decided in the way two people interact. "The chaperon is there to make sure no one else has any fun, but nobody chaperons the chaperon. That's why I'm so right for this job." -Jane Russell as Dorothy Shaw, "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" | |
| 21 Jul 11, 11:55 AM PlayerOfGames UK(E), 5 yrs |
I think people put in their profile stuff that they *want* to happen. So, even if they don't mean to do it deliberately, they describe the ideal relationship they are looking for - and that may include being seen as handsome. Personally I don't want to stop people from saying they are handsome. It goes hand in hand with body image - sometimes people need to tell themselves they are fine as they are. | |
| 21 Jul 11, 12:54 PM MisterBear UK(WA), 8 yrs  |
And don't forget the useless terms like 'genuine' and 'true'. I think they use those terms to help describe themselves, but not in the way they think they are doing. As it could show them to be a range of various generally negative things from self deceptive, crap talkers, narrow minded and so don't consider others opinions, correct but somewhat egotistical/arrogant, confused and so think they need to tell people these things, self obsessed, and so on. It's just a matter of working out what category their description falls into and whether it's that bad a trait as no one is perfect (even if they claim so themselves) so finding out a fault early on can get it out of the way. Can you tell I'm bored and have nothing better to do with my life? | |
| 21 Jul 11, 3:43 PM NANA777 UK(SW), 3 yrs |
Thanks for your reply, everyone. I totally agree that the words 'funny''genuine''true' could be included in the same group. In my opinion, truly intelligent people would not have to write 'I am intelligent' on their profile. They can show how intelligent they are without using the word 'intelligent' if they want people to think they are intelligent. Funny people as well. They could show it how funny they are if they want to be thought as funny when people check their profile. People could think themselves to be anything they want to be in their head. But writing it out loud on the profile looks a bit vulgar to me... I want to know how come they write things like that on their profile, what's their mindset is, etc. But unfortunately I didn't get a reply from people who do it. When I decide to meet someone through BDSM websites, it is not because they discribe themselves as intelligent/funny/attractive/genuine. I rather avoid them now! | |
| 21 Jul 11, 6:11 PM MistressSpitfire UK(CR), 4 yrs |
Hi Nana yes I agree with you, the other annoying phrase is "I am (how-ever) old but everyone thinks I look so much younger" Mistress Spitfire | |
| 21 Jul 11, 6:27 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
Totally! It's so annoying, I used to hear it all the time. "I'm a young 50 year old." Really? I'm *still* not interested! There's always one, and if I'm in the vicinity, it's probably me. | |
| 21 Jul 11, 8:10 PM Twistee UK(BA), 3 yrs  |
Yup. I don't want to be told my opinion of someone, I like to make my own mind up. Their pictures give me an idea of how physically attractive they may be, the content and quality of the writing in their profile (and posts) gives me an idea about their personality, interests, sense of humour, etc. If someone starts telling me how beautiful they are, or how intelligent, funny, or whatever, I do start to wonder whether they're, in fact, the exact opposite of what they describe. Cynical as that might sound. There really is no substitute for meeting face-to-face. However I might think of myself, I'm sure there are plenty who'd disagree. I'd much rather they make their own minds up than have me haranguing them about what a great catch I am. ~Twistee~
Everything is better with a twist |
