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30 things you learn from porn :-) (16)

ladybabe2's profile

ladybabe2
Posted by ladybabe2 on Tue 19 Jul 11, 10:26 AM to ladybabe2's blog.

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy cummers.

11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are not always real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Women are always ready for it.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

30. Dorky guys never have to beg.

Replies

19 Jul 11, 10:31 AM
Original_Rebel
UK(CT), 10 yrs

Valuable lessons for all to learn about sex :).
19 Jul 11, 10:47 AM
frida_sub
UK(CM), 2 yrs

oh dang i have been doing it wrong all these years lol

i love Who i am with

19 Jul 11, 11:15 AM
jenevieve
UK(CH), 4 yrs
frida_TCandAS wrote:
oh dang i have been doing it wrong all these years lol

So have I :-o

No matter how you try you just can't fix stupid!

19 Jul 11, 12:13 PM
foxgirl
UK(LN), 22 mths
Well, 20 isn't inaccurate! :P
19 Jul 11, 12:20 PM
Monkey_Wench
UK(B), 20 mths

foxgirl wrote:
Well, 20 isn't inaccurate! :P

LOL - in my case neither is 7...

Fun list though :)

.
If it appears my keyboard breathalyser broke please tell me tomorrow; I probably won't believe you now.

19 Jul 11, 12:59 PM
Litany
UK(E), 11 yrs

31. Men really enjoy slapping a womans clit with there cock...

"Litany, a poncy show-off with wit, a camera, and his own teeth *swoon*" Fen "You have some strange taste in music" Me "If I didn't, I wouldn't be half as interesting"
New and Revamped ttp://www.synthetiklens.com

Edited 19 Jul 11, 1:00 PM by Litany

19 Jul 11, 2:20 PM
SirOpenSource
UK(E), 6 yrs


21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

I would like to clear up a commonly held misbelief regarding this well known fact. On a recent stay in hospital I polled the nurses and found out that whilst most female nurses are only too pleased to oblige if you ask a male nurse you are likely to loose several teeth.

SOS

The Titter group - for when you don't feel too serious.
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. - Mahatma Gandhi
www.Londonmunch.co.uk
Londonmunch@hotmail.com - Enquiries

19 Jul 11, 2:24 PM
purgamentum
UK, 3 yrs

I've learned nothing from porn, as soon as the opening titles are done I'm spent and lighting up a cig.

"I have great faith in fools -- self confidence my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe

19 Jul 11, 2:27 PM
Lustful
ES, 2 yrs
All_of_Me wrote:
foxgirl wrote:
Well, 20 isn't inaccurate! :P

LOL - in my case neither is 7...

Fun list though :)

Poor you: asthma is a real bugger!

All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.

19 Jul 11, 2:27 PM
River_Deep
UK, 6 yrs
32 - You can keep your socks on and still cop off.

It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it
Those 3 words are said too much, but they're not enough

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