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| Cosmic1 |
Following many years of participating in the work of the Spanner Trust and fielding all manner of inquiries and responses to legal issues it is a discussion I have been having with myself for a few months.
I would hope that most people are aware of both the trust and the fact that the law has decided that you can't consent to your own assault which is the basis of many of the legal actions brought against people in connection with SM but I also feel there has been a loss in the understand of the link between peoples actions and potential affects.
We are all too aware of someone who has had a relationship break down under less than amicable circumstances to hear one side or both continue to argue things out and often in ways which is completely inappropriate to adults. Sometimes this has in the past resulted in someone being outed at work or allegations being levied by the aggrieved party. I like many have found myself in this type of situation in the past and although I don't give details such as names and times it does happen.
I am also aware of people who have had unwanted legal attention from something that they wrote which is taken out of context and often it is something that they would take back if they could but once is out there in the ether of the internet the potential has been laid.
I covered this in the scene survival guide at a recent LAM workshop but it is an important enough message that I felt the need to blog it as well. If you make a comment or a threat that could potentially be taken as reason for a legal investigation the police are duty bound to investigate it as if it were a crime.
In some cases these communications covers issues which are far more unpleasant than a threat to violence some of which are labelled as looking to test limits and boundaries. Well I hate to say it but if you ask something which is not legal you should expect to be pulled on the issue or at least that you could be investigated.
I would also remind people that it is often not the court case which does the damage; it's the reports in the local papers or when they turn up at the most embarrassing or inappropriate moment to talk to you. Regardless of if the matter is dropped later once the investigation has started the damage is often already done.
This can also be the case of people experiencing play remorse or even attempting to get back at their ex by reporting them for something that they consented to at the time. Once you open Pandora's box you can't put the lid back on it and no matter how nicely you ask the issue has to be investigated by the authorities.
I would hope that much of this comes under the heading of common sense but as many people new to the scene experience an initial heady intoxication at all the fun and new options I think it's a vital message that needs to be discussed and educated on. After all that is said and done we have enough pressures against us within society to be adding to them ourselves.
| 12 Jul 11, 3:08 PM Litany UK(E), 11 yrs  |
I think another area is the nature of the closed community , when Dom X is playing with sub y and they split they have declared unlasting devotion but they split , from experience Dom X gets right back into 'the scene'* , not a care in the world , sub y invariably changes her status to 'retreating' or 'only here for friends'.. Thus when they do have new partners , the other knows about it , inevitably they will still have friends in common , and unlike vanilla relationships that breakdown where unless there are legal or children , the couple really can't avoid each other. I know , its happened to me...I split from someone , next weekend I went to a wonderful party , I thought I needed to be seen out and get it out of my system...I hated myself , and hated it too when I got a text from her saying , "I see you couldnt wait..." So yes 'the scene'* is its own worst enemy , but conversly its greatest assest as without it you wouldnt find a partner , a mate , a friend , not just for D/s , SM , sex , pony play or whatever. Two of my best friends who I have transcended 'the scene'* realted issues with come from it, so it can be beneficial ,but there are still pitfalls. James *I hate the word 'the scene' wish it would have been called the cucumber or the marinschino cherry , anything but 'the scene'... edited as I cant spell my own name! "Litany, a poncy show-off with wit, a camera, and his own teeth *swoon*"
Fen "You have some strange taste in music"
Me "If I didn't, I wouldn't be half as interesting" Edited 12 Jul 11, 4:31 PM by Litany | |
| 12 Jul 11, 4:09 PM Sultrylady UK(B), 11 yrs |
Good post thank you, O/P. Good to have the odd reminder now and then.
Oh yes, absolutely I hate it. ^S Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. | |
| 12 Jul 11, 5:35 PM hollythedolly UK(NN), 2 yrs  |
Thank you @cosmic1 please can you also post on the web boards as i think it needs a wider audience | |
| 12 Jul 11, 5:57 PM Cosmic1 UK(SW), 7 yrs £  |
David London Alternative Market - the place to be on the first Sunday of the month |
