This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 11 Jul 11, 11:30 AM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths     |
I like that, I can fit me into it. After all anything like this should actually only be a starting point for discussion. On this list I am: 1 2 4 6 8 9 10. . | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 11:32 AM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
Ok. I'm going to go for a run to clear my head, then eat some ice cream, and then I'll have another crack at it. " Under this playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac " | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 11:56 AM x_Pan_x UK(E), 8 yrs  |
Of course the only way to do this properly would be to do it from the other way round, come up with a matrix of subtle unloaded questions, get a cross section of people interested in BDSM to answer the questions and then draw out any *types* and trends from those answers. Doing it from the other way round is a tad pointless, because it depends on people *agreeing*. This is not any way to find out what is actually happening because people aren't reliable in their opinions, which is why the questioning needs to be subtle and unloaded. These kind of endeavours in magazines for 'nilla relationship subjects are made up by features writers in twenty minutes when the feature they really want to cover falls through, or they can't be arsed to do the actual work.
Just remember, when you think you're free, that crack inside your fucking heart is me. | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 12:18 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
My god, typologies I can sort of get behind! However, to be honest, I think pretty much everything I like to do falls quite neatly under the definition of masochism. But not the one you give. I think it's a real mistake that 'real masochism' is and has generally been depicted as the exchange of pain. I'm more than a bit interested in the genealogy of sadism and masochism, so I'm still only just beginning to figure this out. But: even Freud came up with three categories of masochism, though he totally failed to develop them properly. But the idea of masochism as the exchange of pain is not one that came from Masoch nor Krafft-Ebing's interpretation of Masoch, but from a far more reductive idea of Havelock Ellis's. The earliest citing of the word in Krafft-Ebing is quite different (and I've just been writing about this so have a handy quote):
Railing against the tyranny of 'common sense'. Edited 11 Jul 11, 12:35 PM by verte | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 12:57 PM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
Having re-read Venus in Furs quite recently, I'd agree with you. Similarly, I'd argue that Sadism has now come to stand for the inflicting of pain, whereas the good Marquis' perversions ran in all kinds of directions.. " Under this playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac " | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 1:19 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
Ice cream...?
giggle... what flavour??? There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 1:21 PM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
Mmm, ice cream. Ok, ( building on Lima's suggestion ) here is attempt 3: 1) Pain ( the inflicting and/or receiving of ) 2) Obedience ( taking and/or giving direction, following or setting rules ) 3) Control ( taking on or giving up control of your daily life to another ) 4) Sex ( using or being used for sexual purposes ) 5) Service ( pleasing or allowing to be pleased by another, having someone dedicate themselves to your comfort and pleasure ) 6) Restraint & bondage ( the love of restraining and/or being restrained, either through rope or other means ) 7) Humiliation ( made to feel, or making others feel, worthless, small and degraded - either through verbal humiliation or other means. ) 8) Emotional & Psychological manipulation ( working directly on the psyche, manipulation of emotions, long-term behaviour modification etc ) 9) Specific fetishes ( focus on a particular object, item of clothing, role or bodily function for the purposes of sexual gratification ) 10) Specific sensations ( ie not ones directly related to pain - such as knives, violet wands, floggers, breathplay, poppers etc ) Is that any better ? " Under this playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac " | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 1:29 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
It's what I've started referring to as the 'civilising principle' of sadism and masochism: the idea of pleasure through pain is one you can find in any area of life, not just sexuality, and thus it's easier to normalise and for people to accept. The idea of condoning, inciting or promoting suffering and violence is not one that's so easy to package as a non-pathological sexual preference by psychologists. Anyway, I'll stop rabbiting on and get on with actually producing some work on this, but I do find the idea of rethinking BDSM typologies interesting. Railing against the tyranny of 'common sense'. Edited 11 Jul 11, 1:32 PM by verte | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 1:32 PM Lady_Lucan UK(L), 4 yrs |
Good work! Have a scoop of ice-cream flavoured ice-cream on me.
'Ey la'/Ela! (Delete as appropriate.) | ||
| 11 Jul 11, 1:47 PM Black0rchid UK, 2 yrs |
The fetish list on fetlife seems to be growing in popularity. I think I'd just stick with listing my fetishes from that. As it stands I have 130 things I'm into. At the moment I'm with someone, but to prove I'm not fussy I would still date him even if he only met 125 of my fetishes, which are: !*#&@ is not a safe word, " i love you, but i will hurt you." (receiving), "be nice....until it's time not to be nice.", "don't you dare fucking move" (receiving), "enough. now come here.." (receiving), "i solemnly swear i am up to no good", "i'm proud of you", "look me in the eye while i'm hurting you" (receiving), "sanity is overrated", "sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and listen to what i am going to say to you." (receiving), "you evil bastard" is not a safe word., "you're kinky as fuck! i'm keeping you!", 1950s household, a life of passion, intensity and focus., a strong dom with a tender touch (receiving), a voice that calms, comforts and reassures, accepted for being me and all it entails (receiving), acting shy but fucking like a whore, affection and touch from the one i am with, after care (receiving), age play, aggressive sexual dominance (receiving), anal sex (receiving), attention, bare handed spanking (receiving), bathroom use control (receiving), bdsm, beautiful tear filled eyes (receiving), behavior modification (receiving), being a little darker than i thought, being broken (receiving), being held in my strong arms (receiving), being held until i fall asleep (receiving), being held while i have a good cry (receiving), being hugged by strong safe arms (receiving), being looked after (receiving), being loved for who i am (everything to do with it), being more complex than an anonymous list of fetishes could show, causing people to have to actually converse with me, finding out if they like *me* and not just what gets me off., being myself, being pinned down and fucked brutally (receiving), being pushed up against a wall in a passionate kiss (receiving), being someone special for someone special (everything to do with it), being stroked (everything to do with it), being told i'm a good girl (receiving), being worth fighting for, blogging, bondage (receiving), breasts, bullshit free relationships, butt plugs (receiving), caressing (receiving), chastity (receiving), chastity devices, combining aggression and tenderness (receiving), come closer and say that again, i dare you. (receiving), consensual nonconsent (receiving), control, cornertime, corporal punishment (receiving), crying, crying does not mean you have to stop..., cuddles (everything to do with it), daddy daughter roleplay, daddy/girl, degradation (receiving), dildos, discipline (receiving), do not start with me. you will not win., doctor/nurse play, domination (receiving), doms who do things properly (receiving), enemas (receiving), exhibitionism, female ejaculation (giving), fetnights, floggers (receiving), foot massage (receiving), full contact body hug and a night sleep in the arms of someone who cares for me (receiving), getting off on getting your partner off (giving), going to exodus in birmingham, having friends i can actually trust, he makes me feel beautiful inside & out, he's the boss, humiliation (receiving), i was a daisy fresh girl and look what you've done to me (receiving), if u steal this fetish, i am going to rape u!, intelligence, kissing, leather, lingerie, long hair (wearing), making him happy (giving), making love, not just mindless fucking, male authority (receiving), masochism, master/slave, medical play (receiving), moments of unexpected power exchange (receiving), multiple orgasms, mutual masturbation, mutual respect, trust and communication. (everything to do with it), my submission is not a gift (giving), oral sex, ow is not a safeword, people not rushing me for a reply immediately (receiving), play rape (receiving), power exchange (receiving), predicament bondage, public sex, pulling my hair and leading me places i say i don't want to go but secretly do and i'm glad you made me (receiving), raping peoples fetish list, resistance is futile (receiving), restraints, role play (everything to do with it), rough sex, sadistic princesses, sex in public, shut up and put your face in the pillow - this is not about you. (receiving), sitting on daddy's lap while he whispers dirty things in my ear (receiving), snuggling, spanking (receiving), spreader bars (receiving), squirting, subspace (receiving), talking in a sweet voice while you're doing something really mean (receiving), tears (receiving), thats so cute, you think you have a choice (receiving), the submission of a strong woman (giving), total power exchange, touching, victorian lifestyles, wartenberg pinwheels, wow! i'm more fucked up than i anticipated..., you opened pandora's box ...now deal with it, you're beautiful. it's society thats fucked., zombie outbreak preparedness. and breathe. Just remember, when you think you're free, that crack inside your fucking heart is me. Edited 11 Jul 11, 1:49 PM by Black0rchid |
