 |
| ladybabe2 |
on Sun 3 Jul 11, 9:27 AM to ladybabe2's blog.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by F1 and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at dvd's of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion pounds for university, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
| 3 Jul 11, 9:30 AM calmhands UK, 2 yrs |
Your post made me smile, sounds like my house. Thanks for sharing it. Ch x | |
| 3 Jul 11, 9:42 AM MzClio UK(CF), 3 yrs      |
Oh I'm going to read this to my cat.. I'm in brum at the moment so for once have not had to share my bed with my cat.. its weird not to have him bumbling on my shoulder for food.. But lovely ..as well Defiled is my name full sore Through cruel spite and false report That I may say for evermore Fairwell to joy, adieu comfort For wrongfully ye judge of me Unto my fame a mortal wound Say what ye list, it may not be Ye seek for that shall not be found.. Anne Boleyn ......circa 1503-1536 | |
| 3 Jul 11, 10:22 AM pixie15_CJ_s UK(EX), 7 yrs |
lucky you i had to add this rule to our house never ..i repeat NEVER bring in seagulls you have killed and holding them by the neck ... bounce on mums new bed swinging it round .... EVER
hug your dogs hun ... you could have mine chaos mayhem and desaster......my work here is done | |
| 4 Jul 11, 8:23 AM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs      |
Also, cats, if you catch a rabbit in the fields, please kill it before you drag it back to the garden by it's broken leg. We know you like to play with your prey but isn't nice for humans to have to wring the rabbits neck because humans don't like seeing animals in pain - especially when the human is all dressed up and ready to go out to a party (happened to my elegantly dressed mother!!!). The nice lady with the whip. | |
| 4 Jul 11, 12:18 PM ladybabe2 UK(SK), 6 yrs |
pets have no sense of decorum lol xx
Don't make them a priority, when they only make you an option... |
