 |
| Bambi_x |
This is something that I have had such conflicting views on while growing up, and only now can I openly and honestly say how I feel on the subject.
I absolutely adore the idea of living in a traditional household. I consider myself to be 'a modern woman' but I'm also staunchly traditional in a lot of ways. It's something that I struggled with for a long time, but I really resonate with the 'traditional' male as head of household ideal.
I'll also be the first to admit that I'm one of those 'romantic' people who, amongst all my other 'kinks' I do like to feel cherished and special.. and I want to totally reciprocate that with my partner. For me, manners and little things really mean a lot. There's nothing quite like a man who holds doors open, stands when you stand, and puts your coat on.. ah, sorry, I'm getting carried away.
Anyway.. as much as I enjoy the power struggle when it comes to my own submission, or more appropriately, sex, I'd like a simple life. A life where things are clear and simple. No power struggles when it comes to day to day life. I like the idea that a man can be appreciated for going out and working hard, and that I'd want to make him feel appreciated for taking care of me (I don't just mean financially), as well as ensuring he feels loved and taken care of in a different way. I like that a woman can make her house a home for her husband and family, taking care of them and ensuring everyone is happy within that home.
I'm not just talking about cooking and baking, making sure things are clean etc, because yes, these are all great.. (although I'm rubbish at cleaning) but I do love seeing someone appreciate that Ive cooked them a nice dinner for them coming home, that I've done all the little things that make life easier so they don't need to worry, that their home is clean and tidy.. But I mean taking care of husband/family in the nurturing way, ensuring there is a loving person and environment to come home to. That he can come home to someone who is ready to devote her time and thoughts to him..
I'm actually not saying that I don't want to have a career at all - this isn't the case - I'm fiercely independent and can hold my own in the workplace. I enjoy having a job, I've always felt the need to work. I don't *need* someone to take care of me, but ultimately I feel that I want to be able to stay at home and take care of my family and not feel pressured or forced into work due to financial or other worries. I know often it's not possible for one person to stay at home, and that's fine too, I'm just talking about an ideal.. even if it was the case that it wasn't an option, I still think there are many ways in which I could still make the environment in which I want to live.
I want an old fashion romance with mutual respect and appreciation. Where each participants goal is to make the other happy in the best way they know how. The way their animal instincts dictate to them to be.
Being taken care of and taking care of a man in return is something I will openly embrace if/when I find the right person.
However.. This has been something that I've struggled to accept. I grew up in a traditional household, my father was the breadwinner and my mother stayed at home, looked after us and our home. Although my mum was a very strong willed and naturally independent person she often expressed that she sometimes felt stifled by her choice to stay at home. When I was young, I swore that "I would never end up like my mother". In a lot of ways that's still true, there are aspects of her personality and her and my fathers relationship that I wouldn't want for myself.. but the traditional household ideal is something that I truly want for myself and whoever the unlucky person is who ends up with me 
Not just this, but I actually find it hard to admit this to people. I was talking to one vanilla girlfriend about it all and all I got was negative remarks like
"So you don't want to have your own career?", "How can you want to stay at home?", "Don't you realise that women's rights.. yada yada"
I explained that I actually consider myself a feminist and believe that women have the right to choose what makes them happy.. but still, all I got were looks of complete astonishment.
I feel that there is such a big pressure on women these days to have successful careers, not to 'rely' on men, that I have actually felt embarrassed when admitting to some of my friends that I want to live a 'traditional' lifestyle and that eventually, being a stay at home mother is something that appeals to me. I've even been apprehensive of telling kink friends, and prospective partners/doms.
Of course all my kink friends are very open minded, but I know not all of them agree and certainly don't want it for themselves.. which is absolutely fine.. I know it's my issue.
I think the main problem is that I worry it makes me look weak, like less of a 'modern woman' because I'd rather take care of a family than be climbing up a career ladder. Although I know a few men who agree with my views, it worries me that I won't actually meet anyone who feels the same. Or that perhaps I'm wrong for feeling this way.
Often I feel like it's my own dirty little secret.. well, another one to add to the list..
| 1 Jul 11, 12:00 PM Original_Rebel UK(CT), 10 yrs  |
We are all different and the important thing is what works for you, NOT what other people think about it.
I hope you find what you are looking for |
| 1 Jul 11, 12:52 PM geek_love 2 yrs |
Doing what you want to do as opposed to what other people expect of you is something we should all aim for. Yes there can be limiting factors, but why wouldn't you want your own version of a perfect life. Buttscratcher?! |
| 1 Jul 11, 5:20 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
I actually feel pretty much the same...
"Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. |
| 1 Jul 11, 9:34 PM silent_lucidity UK(M), 4 yrs |
I can very much empathise, you sum up what I think I'd like very well. Good luck finding it. Cx |
| 2 Jul 11, 9:51 AM Goldilocks UK(SE), 5 yrs |
Bambi, I really liked this blog. You were honest and sincere. Your 'true hearts desire' as it were really came across. And snap. Throughout my entire adolescence when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said "housewife" to them. I blew my uncle away when I revealed to him that I wanted to grow up and have a lovely family home where I looked after my children and partner. He was almost outraged, my Granny explained, that I would waste my brain and talent to such a thing when he could see great things of me. It has only been in the last 18 months that I have had a goal and a career in mind. Before that I really honestly wanted to just meet someone who could be the financial breadwinner and we would have separate conjugal roles. I believe there is a place for everyone in this world. You can't have the rich without having the poor. You can't have the kind without having the evil. And you can't have the career-driven people without having the home-makers. I always fancied being the latter. And it is nothing to be ashamed of for you to fancy the exact same thing. If it's your dream, work toward it. Work hard for now and save money. Keep saving. And keep looking for someone you want to invest your time, money, love and life in. Then maybe, just maybe, the pieces of your dream will stitch together. Good luck Bambi xxx Goldie |
