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| verte |
One of my relationships ended last week in the worst possible circumstances I'm capable of imagining. I don't know what the future is for our friendship right now, and that in itself is so uprooting I've been in a strange state. The closest friendship I've made since I moved back to London is all but over. If we are ever to be pally again, we'll have to start from scratch.
On the plus side, this re-opens up a world of possibility. My love life has stagnated in the last couple of years because I couldn't let him go and I felt so certain of the people in my life being the 'right' ones. This time the ending feels more certain and clear-cut, and I'm ready to move on and meet someone new. If he hadn't screwed me over so badly in the process I'd probably be feeling pretty good, actually.
In better news, I'm going to a conference in September in an old european city I've always wanted to visit. The sadist is almost certainly coming with me. We are going to stay in an apartment somewhere near the centre for five days or so. I will happily leave him all day to gape at the Old Masters and meet up for beer and frites and violence in the evening.
My supervisors said with great excitement:
"Are you really going to give a paper about masochism, feminism and consent with a massive black eye?"
Well, that's only the tip of the iceberg. Far worse, he's almost certainly going to come and hear me speak and publically interrogate me.
That thought, in particular, gets me wet.
Edited Sat 25 Jun 11, 12:03 PM by verte
| 25 Jun 11, 1:45 PM GirlAfraid UK, 3 yrs |
Break up - boo New adventures - hurray Europe - I hope it's Budapest, I love Budapest and wish to live vicariously through someone Public interrogation - hot Hoping you are (generally) well x | ||
| 25 Jun 11, 2:15 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
It is not Budapest. The Old Masters reference is a bit of a hint. Think more nordic. I LOVE Budapest, though, so now I'm sad you can't live vicariously through me and that I'm not going there instead so vicarious you can do all sorts of smutty things. I've only been with my mother, unfortunately. The Turkish bath houses with all their nooks and crannies seemed to offer a lot of possibilities... Public interrogation, about my work (to which I am endlessly open to feeling vulnerable...), in front of scary influential people: MEGAhot* and completely terrifying. I'm not feeling great, but I will. x *the work/life separation thing is going really, really well. Can you tell? Railing against the tyranny of 'common sense'. | ||
| 26 Jun 11, 6:42 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs  |
Really sorry to hear about endings, especially in difficult circumstances. And really glad you have other people around and and events and possibilities to look forward to. The painful and the wonderful experiences of life all go to make us what we are and contribute to our personal growth. And of course some subvert and challenge and at times transcend the traditional classifications of experiences into simplistic pigeonholes such as "painful" and "wonderful". Hope the conference is a great experience for you. I'd love to be a fly on the wall.
"Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates) | ||
| 27 Jun 11, 10:43 PM DancesWithPussycats UK(TW), 7 yrs |
Sorry to hear about the bad break up, but good that other things are going well. Lxxx International man of mystery |
