Are Kinky people discriminated against? (51)

Has anyone on here been discriminated against for their lifestyle choice? What form did it take? Was there a basis for it however unreasonable (children, working as a Pro-Dom/me and people assuming it as being the same as a crack-whore etc.)? How were you outed?

Edited Fri 10 Jun 11, 4:25 PM by latexlovers

<yawn> yes kinky people are discriminated against. CAAN gathered lots of personal stories a couple of years ago and published a book telling some of them and also laying down a critique of equal rights in the UK.

Here's a link to the book. http://www.caan.org.uk/beyond.html and how to buy it.

Buy a copy of Beyond the Circle CAAN statement of principle.

You would have to survey a statistically random significant number of non BDSM people as well as the same sort of sample of BDSMers, but that is so much more effort than just asking a tiny selection of people who believe something has happened without any evidence to indicate it has. To give a moderately topical example: Lewis Hamilton complained he was being discriminated against by the Stewards at the Monaco Grand Prix because he is black, rather than because he tried to run other drivers off the road.

This sort of research is valid and worth doing, but do it properly.

Rohypnol means never having to say "Would you like another coffee?".
Religion: It makes good people do bad things.

Nice how you can stick so many people in a pigeonhole with comments like this within a post arguing about discrimination

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

But did he not say it ironically, Ali G style?

Club Subversion Crossing the Rubicon FleursduMal bobette's Facebook Beginners Guide to BDSM

An unfortunate accident of cut and paste. Apologies to all those offended.

I have reasonable access to my kids, but my ex-wife tells me if I ask for more she'll briing up my sexuality in mediation and drag my partner into it.

I shouldn't be - but, based on the experiences of others, I'm terrified my workplace will find out.

My sister, a feminist, knows about my relationship and likes my partner - but thinks i oppress women...

And, looking up from this box to the text above i see:

"Please be careful when posting personal information, since you don't know who will read it in the future or find it with a search engine."

That seems to imply that some people regard what they speak about here to be something they'd rather the world didn't know.

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

not offended easy mistake,,

i also have the advantage of being able to tell disabled jokes ( although i dont )

Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish

bohnanza.. proper research would be so great.

The above mentioned book is a political book. It was put together through a grassroots unfunded network at which time was being run almost exclusively out of a couple of people's pockets.

It is clear people are speaking in their own words, so people can see - nobody is suggesting it's not that.

We are not to judge their experiences, but to share the stories. Its a few people in the context of the whole population, so it's obvious to anyone it's not representative of the entire population of uk.

The stories people shared were never supposed to be a global academic survey , that was clarified when the shout for information went out. (though me using the word survey when we added some guide questions for anyone who wasn't sure what kind of thing we meant... caused a right hoohah!

All we wanted was people's stories of their experiences, and we got some. as far as I can tell the book doesn't claim to something it is not, as editors worked to make sure stupid phrasing like that didnt get into the book like it does in my IC posts !

. it's just a taster. An opening note in a looong discussion. I'm not sure if you've read the book, so i dont know how much you know about the contents. I presume you've read the CAAN info 'a case for sexual rights?' I can send that if you want, might help explain where its coming from. It's basically more in that vein.

People's verbal evidence and understanding of their own situation IS part of 'proper' research. i guess it depends which discipline you prefer whether we treat the people sharing stories like liars and decide someone 'expert' else with no direct involvement actually has better judgement than the person experiencing it - which tends to be seen poorly in political movements anyway.. tends to hold back rights.

People do not need an expert to (after the fact with no direct experience of it whatsoever) tell them whether they are being discriminated against when they get into strife because they have a kink lifestyle - I think thats a leetle bit mystifying unnecessarily - we don't need to be an academic or a professional researcher to know what is happening to us. it seems very elitist to suggest this.. perhaps I am not understanding you correctly. I'm in a bit of a hurry, got marchin to do today

lets hope when we finally bring the thing to the EHRC we can persuade them to assist with proper research - there is no organisation I know of with the funds i guess we'd need to cover serious professional mass research on this. To get that, we need some inkling that there's something to be researched and I think/hope this book can at least suggest that may be the case - it raises the question exactly that you are hinting at - what would professional research find?

We have to start somewhere. Right now nobody is intetersted in the principle that sexual rights for all are sorely lacking.

Unless - bohnanza - serious question - are you able to help us do it properly as a volunteer? do you know anyone who would? or do it for a price within the CAAN budget? can you tell me the what scale research is needed and what the rough cost of it is - we do have a few hundred quid now. I suspect it's a lot more.

Unless someone is, then we work with what we've got and hope it opens some understanding that perhaps there IS something to be researched here. and approach government bodies about funding proper research.

I do think that's better than nothing. others may not. everyone is never going to always agree, we just need to do what we can.. doing nothing will sure as heck gain us nothing.

i really hope proper research can happen in the end. that's what I personally hope will come out of this. and the govt considering that just maybe people ARE discriminated against because of their sexual/relationship practices, not just their orientation.

De

Vote to repeal the kinky porn ban! http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/282427/
Sign up to CAAN's statement www.caan.org.uk

Edited 10 Jun 11, 2:16 PM by Degenerate

Being kinky and using a web site of an adult nature (or visiting sex clubs, fetish parties, being a PD etc) are distinct things. Scene people don't seem to get that.

If you weren't kinky, I'm sure that your ex would find alcohol, drugs, golf obsession, your new partners dress sense or some other evidence of irresponsibility to rattle your cage with.

And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!

not offended

but unfortunately it's rarely easy for people to spot discrimination when they don't experience it, they dont know it happens. thats why most activist movements work on awareness raising.

or if you mean us disabled folk are easy to spot, lots of us aren't.

Vote to repeal the kinky porn ban! http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/282427/
Sign up to CAAN's statement www.caan.org.uk