The Gift Of Submission (69)

Yes, you make perfect sense. And I take your point completely.

When I say it is a gift, it is a gift in the same sense that his dominance is. I liken them to each other, they feel equally precious to me.

After all, in the same sense that I put trust in him not to permanently damage me, he puts trust in me not to cry 'rape' or accuse him of physically assaulting me. I suppose what I am saying is that it requires a level of trust over and above other types of relationships. The 'gifts' we give each other are a way of expressing that 'specialness' I suppose. And, in addition, it signifies that I have as much right to choose who I give it to as he does.

x

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Posting under the influence. Or if not, then sleep-deprived. If it makes no sense that'll be why.

It is something I bring to a relationship .... it is a part of who/what I am .... it is something I need to express .... but then again so is my sense of humour, my intellect, my personal morals, etc.

For me the only difference with submission compared to any other thing I bring to a relationship is that it is usually the last thing to be expressed and requires a dominant partner to compliment it.

It is also something that I have to be in a full time relationship for .... I have bottomed to play partners but I require a level of on going power exchange from both sides for that to become submission.

"You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." ~ George Moore

What epona said.

I saw the title 'gift of submission' and it annoyed me a little as indeed, what about the 'gift of dominance'. Dom/mes are not service tops you know to fulfil subs pleasures. We have needs too.

The question to submissives who see their submission as a one way gift is what do you offer the dominant?

"It's just a ride, it's just a ride" ~ Bill Hicks ~

I don't think I would express it that way on my profile for instance, but it is how I think of it, and therefore how I answer this question.

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Posting under the influence. Or if not, then sleep-deprived. If it makes no sense that'll be why.

These seem to be the basic premises that d/s can to operate from:

Neither makes a 'gift' – how could that work? Like the game 'tag', as soon as a dom/me or sub touches a sub or dom/me and say 'gottcha' the deal is done....? Whoever shouts 'kneel bitch' or 'use me' loudest gets to choose a partner...? It 'kind of just happens...' - well, it clearly kinda just doesn't! So in the case of neither making a gift, there is a randomness about the process of finding a partner and the means by which power could be exchanged is not at all clear (to me, at least).

The dom/me offers dominance to the sub. Woah – hang on – aren't we looking at the ultimate topping from the bottom. Dom/mes don't seem to 'offer' anything. Surely that would be completely counter intuitive to the whole concept of dominance.

The sub 'offers' submission.... to the dom/me of his/her choice. Once accepted, it is used by a dom/me and the sub enjoys being dominated, but does not use dominance (as to do so would be to top from the bottom).

Inherent in the concept of a gift is that the recipient then uses that gift as and how he or she sees fit. To my (admittedly limited) understanding, this is the significance of the 'gift' concept and it leaves the power of domination intact and, very importantly, implies freely given consent.

Just a personal view

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

And again you offer me a perspective and conclusion I would not have seen by myself. Thank you.

x

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Posting under the influence. Or if not, then sleep-deprived. If it makes no sense that'll be why.

I particularly liked this bit.

I can only give my submission to someone if they accept and understand it. A bit pointless giving my 'gift of submission' to another sub who is trying to offer me the same thing because I do expect dominance in exchange for my submission.

I don't see it as a gift, but an exchange. If I buy a new televsion I am not receiving a gift, I am paying for it by handing over money. I see dominance and submission in a similar way, not financially but one person giving something in exchange for getting something else they want (need).

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"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." Soren Kierkegaard

A very interesting analogy and I can see a lot of truth in it ... But (yeah I always throw one of them in there lol)

What if the recipient puts the gift away in a drawer ?

What if they decide to sell it or pass it on ?

Implying they can use it as they see fit also allows for the negative side of the coin .... Once a gift is given then, much as we may hate the thought of it being given away again, I am sure we all know someone that has done just that with something we have bought them. The gift has been re-wrapped for a Christmas present to someone else .. so that for me is where your analogy does not quite encompass our use of the term.

:: Pauses a moment to put on hard hat and flack jacket :: hee hee

I think the "negative connotation" some seem to apply to the term comes from others use of it. I have often seen people write about giving their gift and equally as often it comes with a follow on that implies the recipient had "dam well better do as they say with it" .... or to use another phrase of ours "topping from the bottom" .... You can have my submission but only if you <insert long string of conditions here> that go above the normal expectations of mutual trust, honesty and respect.

But as with all of our little terms, labels and phrases .... One person's "gift" is another persons "You want it ? then dam well take it you Bastard/Bitch" lol ... so personally I think it is one of those terms that is down to personal interpretation and no-one should be judged based on their use of it.

"You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." ~ George Moore

Not sure of the gift thing.....as things work both ways.

Edited 3 Jun 11, 3:25 PM by AstronautMikeDexter