Marriage and/or collaring (24)

When i was collared it was a private affair, just the two of us, it wasnt felt that there was a need to have a big celebration because it was us making a commitment to each other... it was still a very special moment though and the commitment we made to each other is of a similar meaning to that which marriage means to those that do it.

Im not adverse to getting married at some point but of course i would have to be in a relationship where it would be possible, and im not, therefore its not something that would ever be on the cards

The Cruel Huntress Forum
The Cruel Huntress Yahoo

At the moment I couldn't imagine being collared by someone I couldn't also imagine to marry in the future. I guess in my head there are many cross-overs and I couldn't say that a collaring is purely kinky and marriage purely vanilla.

For me a collaring is a bit "almost like being married, just without the official bits & more emphasis on kink" whereas a marriage is "a bit like being collared, just more official & emphasis on vanilla".

In the future I see myself happily married & collared (to/by the same man ). A little bit of vanilla equality doesn't hurt, especially if there are kids involved, but I'd still like to be reminded of my place within the marriage... Being married & collared is a bit like having 200% of all the fun (?) & commitment :p

Hab keine Angst, einen großen Schritt zu machen, wenn dies nötig ist. Ein Abgrund lässt sich nicht mit zwei kleinen Sprüngen überqueren (David Lloyd George).

Its very much an 'each to there own" thing just as how marriages are very much individual nowadays..

I know some people like to include collaring as part of the marriage, others see collaring as in place of it...

A consensual slave is captive not by the chains you see but by the bonds you don't

Well, firstly, of course to some degree I've written on this before, when I wrote about @taintedinnocence's permanent collaring (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/284265/)

As you know, we did both marriage and (private) collaring. For us they symbolised different things, but we also saw them as linked steps in the journey. The rights which come with marriage helped to reinforce the binds which come from collaring.

By and large though, I would say that symbols have the meanings we choose to give them. If you see a wedding as being about equality then (for you) it probably wouldn't be appropriate in an O&P context. For us the meanings and choices were different to that.

Similarly, for us, what collaring meant and symbolised was something private in nature, and therefore we chose to make those commitments in private. Indeed, the way we chose to solemnise those commitments meant it was always going to be a private affair.

"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde

In terms of commitment, Tanos collaring me means a lifelong commitment to him and to our relationship. It wasn't something i entered into lightly.

Apart from the white dress and profiteroles, the thought of a wedding ceremony where i was the bride, scares me. It's not the marriage, just the day.

As has been said, i think either, both or neither fit with O&P relationships, depending on what people see the ceremonies and their relationships as.

I wish Civil Partnerships were open to hetrosexual couples, i think i could get more excited about one of those and the legal side of things seems set out more clearly than with marriage.

x

Quick Lynn, run, they're sex people
@Modified_Bodies
@O_and_P

Getting married didn't touch me that deeply, I don't know why, maybe I thought it was something we should do as opposed to something I felt in my soul. We had a big party to.

5 years later we got divorced.

Being collared last year was really special to me because I adored him, and I honestly believed in my heart it was either forever or for a fuck of a long time. There was only him and me and we even went to "Boots the chemist" after on a wet winter day with me in nothing but a basque and a collar and it was one of the happiest days of my life.

6 weeks later in our 'monogamous' relationship he was tracking other women down and then vanished, apart from daily phone calls for the next 4 months telling me to stay celebate, he would be back and "of course there is nobody else". At the end of the 4 months he changed his ic profile to accommodate 48 bdsm interests from abdunction to watersports and sent me a personal memo telling me he was no longer into bdsm.

If you think its a headfuck then I'm sure you're just like me in simply misreading the situation (well that's what he told me anyway).

To me it was something that was deeply significant, to him it was a kink thing which if he put on his profile he thought would help attract other women to him.

I don't think my husband ever used me like that.

I don't know which was or is more significant now.

In the end, most things break.

I was married for 5 years. When I broke up with my husband it took me 5 years to get over it.

This weekend I realised it was the 28th, and I had met Him on the 28th. I realised I spent 4 and a half months being intimate with him, and 4 and a half months being celebate waiting for him to come back to me. I realised exactly 9 months to the day (rebirth) it was time for me to move on and find someone else.

All I know is that whichever you choose, it takes as long to get over the person as the time you spent with them.

It doesn't really matter does it, whether you are married or collared, in the end its all a crock of shite.

to @Misshell for sending me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl1rRxG251s&featu...

In my next life, I am coming back as you, with your optimisim. Thank You xx

contrary to publicity I do not come with rice milk.

Edited 31 May 11, 9:13 AM by Black0rchid

Be yourself in this life and see where it takes you.

Happiness is a concept, self belief is a choice

I like the idea of time contracts. You commit to say 5yrs then reasess the situation either taking out another contract or not.

DoN't WaStE YoUR TiME On A MaN WhO Isn't WiLLiNG tO WasTe ThEiR tImE On You...

It's a beautiful world, just enjoy it.

Edited 30 Jan 12, 5:12 PM by WideEyedMinx