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| Monkey_Wench |
No, not that kind of self flagellation! You lot really do have filthy minds! (Luckily for me, as I do too 
)
I mean the sort where you mentally punish yourself. Beating yourself up with your thoughts, thinking yourself into a depression, or imagining things are worse than they really are. This can become to be a kind of a downward spiral if you aren't careful. One it is easy to tumble down.
Over the past week or so, I, being a talkative type, have made a few new friends. Some of my new friends seem to be having a hard time of it lately, and we have got into some memo conversations about our various issues, hurdles or concerns. Some of my older friends are also having problems; there is a lot of it going about at present.
And I have noticed a pattern. When things are harder than normal, we seem to question ourselves, look for ways to blame ourselves, and generally worry about our actions and reactions to the adversity.
Luckily for me I have a very wise 'bestest friend in the whole wide world'. I could call her my BFWWW, but for the purposes of this blog I will use her name: she is Emms. I am truly blessed to know Emms, a lovelier, wiser, more generous spirit does not exist, of this I am sure.* I was lucky enough to spend last weekend with her, and I came away filled with her love, light and happiness.
When I am doing that questioning, blaming, and general punishing of myself that I am prone to, Emms always gives me a good 'talking to.' After she has been kind and loving, she has a bit of a shout at me, and tells me the same thing every time: "Put down that stick you are using to beat yourself!" On one occaision she threatened to wrestle it out of my hands and break it over her knee.
Quite apt for us kinky types I think, but also good advice for those suffering a 'hard week'. When the world is giving us a hard time, then is the time to be kinder to ourselves, not to find more fault in ourselves. When we are down we should treat ourselves with more care, be gentle with our bruised egos and hurt feelings, and have patience with our own selves.
I'm not suggesting we never question, try to learn, or try to use adversity to grow as people. But the time for that is when the storm has passed. In the cold light of day, when all is calm, then is the time for the lessons. During the storm you cannot see so clearly, conclusions you reach may not be reasonable ones, and you can easily think yourself into a bigger mess.
So. Be kinder to yourself, you deserve it. Do something that makes you feel calmer and more relaxed. Spend time with loved ones, watch your favourite film, eat a box of truffles, have a long soak in a hot bath, go for a walk in a beautiful place, do something good for YOU. Do something that lifts your spirits. Take some care of YOU. But most importantly, don't punish, blame, and beat yourself up when the world is doing it for you.
Take Care.
* As I was writing this blog, Emms phoned to say she had battered a mouse to death with her dustpan. She is sure it's the one that ate her packet of chocolate digestives last week. She offered to send me a picture of the bloody corpse. I politely declined. I LOVE THAT WOMAN!
| 29 May 11, 10:45 AM epona74 UK(SL), 7 yrs |
Your friend sounds truly amazing, and it's good to see you appreciate her! I'm constantly amazed at how we treat ourselves... If anyone ELSE treated us the way we do ourselves, they'd at the very least no longer be our friend...in some cases, they'd get a good hiding! Yet somehow it's okay that we tear ourselves to shreds over stuff!
Love thy neighbour as you love thyself...no thanks! My neighbour would probably kill me For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) | ||
| 29 May 11, 10:47 AM gentlemusings UK(M), 19 mths    |
Way to go Emms!! Well, i guess she was saying there is always someone worse off that yourself.. Just don't eat her chocolate digestives! :::::. Most welcome bondage, for thou art a way, i think, to liberty .::::: William Shakespeare | ||
| 29 May 11, 11:17 AM Xafar UK(S), 12 yrs £    |
perhaps she could post the mouse to you... i know i would... Mac
"Me Man Whore... You Jane..." | ||
| 29 May 11, 11:40 AM gentlemusings UK(M), 19 mths |
Euwww thats gross, especially with Royal mail deliveries as they are!! lol :::::. Most welcome bondage, for thou art a way, i think, to liberty .::::: William Shakespeare | ||
| 29 May 11, 11:48 AM femsup UK(NW), 5 yrs |
Its the price one sometimes has to pay if you'r are a thoughtful introspective intelligent person. Edited 29 May 11, 12:14 PM by femsup | ||
| 29 May 11, 12:26 PM Xafar UK(S), 12 yrs £ |
doubt the mouse will be complaining about late delivery... Mac
"Me Man Whore... You Jane..." | ||
| 29 May 11, 2:02 PM a_dearheart UK, 16 mths |
a beautiful and reflective post @All_of_Me, and much appreciated. Is it any wonder that I love you x “You can be as self-assertive as you like, just so long as you do what you're told.” ~ Pratchett, T. | ||
| 29 May 11, 4:25 PM Amaranth UK(N), 7 yrs |
Ooh lookie, a blog I just sat and nodded along to lol. All of that, 'cept my Emms is a V  Good things come in small packages... And poison comes in little bottles. | ||
| 29 May 11, 5:04 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths  |
She is amazing, and I am very lucky. And thank you, x
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| 29 May 11, 6:18 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths |
I'm quite sure you would!
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Try it the other way round...treat yourself as you would your best friend!