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| foxgirl |
But I think I'm ill and I'm definitely a bit sad.
I feel sick and teary enough that I've had to take my necklace off because the feeling of it around my neck is making me nauseous and I can't chew on the toys that normally would be comforting to me.
And because I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself I'm looking for unexpected perks in the silliest of places. By which I mean, because I'm a fattie I've realised that this has two benefits: 1. chocolate mousse being comforting, and a definite option for if the woe-is-me outweighs the I-might-be-sick and 2. because my tummy isn't still when I walk quickly, every step makes the invisible bruises across my stomach flash with pretty pain.
I'm looking up pictures of the Wonderbolts (from My Little Pony) and trying not to think about the fact I can't get time off work for my father's 70th birthday. I can have 4 days off two weeks later, but that's not the same at all. Here, have another photo of them. This is probably a more sensible theme for a tattoo, though.
And the final nail in my happiness coffin (which, I add, is a turn of phrase I feel I'm using most ironically, promise - I'm not really this emo!) is that my body issues are twofold: none of my clothes fit, because I've lost enough weight that nothing fits at all but I don't have time to make new ones or alter them enough, but also I feel ludicrously fat because I'm dressing so badly because nothing fits (and because whilst my stomach jiggling hurts most pleasantly, it's still pretty disgusting and hideous).
So, life's pretty good aside from the bits that aren't! Tonight I was supposed to be looking up university courses, writing something fictional, and I wanted to carry on with Pokemon (:D) and write in my newest journal. And instead I've watched rubbish TV and done nothing productive, but that's okay. It's all okay.
| 24 May 11, 10:26 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
Chocolate is another alternative to chocolate mousse, when you want something to bite on, as opposed to slurp softly on. I am sure there is a moral to the fact that my favourite kind at the moment is one of the dark chocolates in the Lindt Excellence range called "A touch of sea salt" - yup, dark chocolate with sea salt. Strangely addictive. There's a somebody I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me |
| 24 May 11, 10:29 PM foxgirl UK(LN), 22 mths |
Chocolate with sea salt sounds amazing. My favourite is one of the Willie's Cacaos, the caranero. I think. My favourite changes all the time. And I haven't bought any of that in at least a year. Must try this sea salt one, though, thanks! |
| 24 May 11, 11:13 PM cheekyandtrouble UK(SL), 2 yrs      |
Hope you feel better. You could always beat your personal best of weblogs and make a 3rd. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
| 24 May 11, 11:18 PM foxgirl UK(LN), 22 mths |
Haha, unless I share the private ramble (aka essay) I've written about safewords and my failings I've got absolutely nothing else to say to make a third blog. Also that would make the internet hate me for being too prolific. But, thank you. I'll feel better soon. I'm faintly droppy, coinciding with a broader existential issue that is ongoing. And the nervous sickness. But it's all okay. Thanks. |
| 24 May 11, 11:32 PM MistressNikki UK(SE), 9 yrs |
*hugs* Sounds like we need a shopping trip. Friday, I was walking to the Crunch and pretty much knew that the shirt I was wearing was far too heavy.. I walked into "Select" on the off-chance. I walked out with a size 18 light cotton top that fitted!!! Overjoy! I'm small enough to go use "normal" shops! yayay! So, come and share some of that happy with me woman! Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective & permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment |
| 25 May 11, 10:41 AM foxgirl UK(LN), 22 mths |
*hugs* Of course! I will be your escort and bag carrier! :D |
