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| Der_Morgenstern |
Quite often I find myself browsing websites for something to think about, today has been the turn of IC and I found a few discussions of labels.
It's a subject I always find interesting, mainly due to the people who say, "I am me." The problem with their stance is that they will constantly be defining themselves in more ways than just, "me." Even though, "me," is a label in itself. Their problem is that labels are everywhere and it is impossible to opt out of using them.
I find it most odd that this subject comes up most frequently in and around BDSM. So many people who say, time after time, that communication is important, and yet some of them want to throw a key piece of communication out of the window. Does anyone else feel this is a bit like the child that says no to everything? Rhetorical question, I'm not opening this up to replies.
If they don't want to be labelled, how do they define what they do, or don't, want out of a relationship? Replying, "me," to every question isn't really a very good answer. Anything else is defining themselves and attaching a label, yet rather than using a broad-brush label, which instantly gives people a relatively accurate description of who they are, they must, if they wish to communicate, use even more labels to pin things down exactly.
I had a signals instructor way back in the mists of time, one of his favourite phrases was, "Brevity is the soul of clarity." Get rid of the extraneous words that are irrelevant, so that you can be easily understood. Labels allow us to do that, especially if everyone agrees a meaning. Using the label, "submissive," for example, to describe who you are, lets people know that for a certain person you would be willing to give up control of certain aspects of your life. Yes, there is far more detail to it than that, but if two people are talking and using the same definition of submissive it means they are working from the same point of reference, that enhances communication.
Having written all this I know that some people will still be saying, "Don't define me, Don't put me in a box." But, there is one thing in this world that is always going to make people define and label themselves, Marmite, you either love it or hate it. 
Edited Fri 20 May 11, 8:59 PM by Der_Morgenstern
