This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Wed 18 May 11, 10:08 PM rich_the_bitch UK(NP), 5 yrs  |
I've been reading a book of pop psychology that touches on the issue of sexual preferences, and where they come from. The theory is that your earliest sexual experiences set a pattern that you are likely to follow throughout life. For example, if your first kiss is with a girl with red hair, you may end up dating far more red-haired women than the average man. I just wondered if any of you could explain the origins of your kink in this way. I think I can. My first flirtatious experience was with a girl at school who was very bossy. I was far too shy to talk to her, but my feelings must have been obvious, and she eventually approached me and immediately started to order me about. And I've grown up adoring bossy women. Another of my earliest sexual experiences was playing footsie at school with a girl everyone thought far too strait-laced to ever have a boyfriend. And I grew up with a foot fetish. Can any of you think of experiences like this that might have triggered your kink? |
| 18 May 11, 10:47 PM The_Majickian UK(SW), 9 yrs  |
No experiences - I just developed that way - intellectually, you might say, 'though that seems a tad clinical, which it decidedly isn't. Does getting bored easily count? Holmes: Meretricious |
| 18 May 11, 10:54 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
Not really. I was rather dominant in most of my sexual experiences, I guess maybe my exhibitionist streak may come from my first relationship but generally I think I have been put into a dominant role due to circumstance but feel far more natural and myself in the submissive one |
| 18 May 11, 11:00 PM Dekkard 15 mths |
Rich, maybe you were already atracted to the bossy-girl? what about that hey? D -----------------spidery-scrawl----------------- |
| 18 May 11, 11:48 PM NewEnglishmanYork UK(ME), 13 mths |
Well, I have always had a thing for bare feet. I must be clear; not a foot fetish, but rather an attraction to the kind of girl who has a carefree attitude, as demonstrated by not bothering with shoes. This I can trace back to my mid-teens when I got an enormous crush on a girl (she had the most extraordinary name, I remember, a truncation of her first and middle names, and quite delicious!) who caught my attention by prancing about quite unabashedly on the ferry on our way to a German exchange trip. But quite so to a poster above me... did that trigger my preference, or was it already there? Edited 18 May 11, 11:49 PM by NewEnglishmanYork |
| 19 May 11, 12:09 AM stillwondering UK(CH), 14 mths |
I think it's probably about a lot more than just your first sexual experience, and is as likely to come from earlier experiences. In my own case, I think it has a lot to do with being the only male in my family in 2 generations, and growing up around older, more dominant (with a small d) females. |
| 19 May 11, 1:14 AM Pumpkin_Witch UK(B), 2 yrs |
not so much an experience that lead to me been kinky but I know ive always had a strong drawing to ritual like things. I think the first feelings of kink I had was from studying history at junior school when we coverd the aztec's and i stated to my teacher i would of wanted to been the human sacriefice lol. Also the egyptions and mummification really grabbed my interest from a young age.
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| 19 May 11, 1:33 AM Goldilocks UK(SE), 5 yrs |
I can not accurately pinpoint where the origins of my kinky sexuality began. However I can look back on my childhood and early adolescence and see memories that are relatively 'kinky' compared to me now. I used to play games at school like 'Cops and robbers' where I liked to get caught and be in prison. I had to stand by the railing and not moved. I enjoyed that. Was it sexual arousal? I don't know. It might have been. Children masturbate and things so it's not like it definitely can't have been. I used to like having other kids tell me what to do. I kissed a grate covered in mud and got a thrill from it. Looking back I would say the humiliation turned me on. And I have several other experiences like that but definitely more sexual that I don't feel like sharing. I don't know where the origin is. I feel I was always kinky and becoming how I am was inevitable. To quote Glee: I was "born this way" <3 In a car journey with my parents and siblings once we were discussing me and my kinkyness (as they all know) and my dad aptly described how we're all robots being created in a factory and that my wiring was just done differently from all of their wirings. I love that analogy. Goldie |
| 19 May 11, 3:37 AM Empress_Martine UK(HA), 2 yrs £      |
Well maybe I was influenced by certain things but I not going to discuss them here,in depth. I got into bdsm by a route which is untraditional and I was influenced by one woman whoes skills I still admire. http://empressm7.uboot.com/ http://www.socialkink.com/empressmartine Vampire, pro/lifestyle ts dom/switch.Ageplay mummy/aunty/AB,medical play,domestic,energy, outdoor specialist."Awsome! But whose's look after the country's security? The FBI pull double shifts!" |
| 19 May 11, 5:36 AM roblxxx UK(PO), 17 mths |
Mistake number one, reading a book on 'pop' Psychology
Mistake number two, thinking that anything written in there is not fiction.
Mostly it's anecdotal (as per most posts in IC), the authors personal belief with a few stories to try to give it credence. Where are the studies, the Science, the hard facts? Perhaps thebook would never have been written if the studies had been carried out For example I have a theory that the name peopel choose to be known as (either their full Christian name or a diminutive) reflects their personality. To back this up every Mark I've ever met has been slightly wimpy, every Angela a bitch. There may well be strong Marks and saintly Angelas, I've just never met them. Would I be justified in treating all Marks and Angelas as wimps and bitches? I'm a bad, bad boy, and I'm going to steal your love. |
| 19 May 11, 11:07 AM magpieuk UK(LA), 5 yrs     |
There maybe something in what you say. Then again maybe not. My kinkiness was apparent from an early age too. I loved being tied up during games of cops and robbers. I had a real thing for Penelope Pitstop (still do). I also found magic acts where the helpless assistant submitted to the magician incredibly arousing. I also liked tying my best friend up and torturing her or being the magician and her my helpless assistant. I can quite clearly see how in adulthood these have transmuted into my sexuality. I'm just not sure whether these things were the origin or simply the catalyst. Come to the darkside - we have cookies... Edited 19 May 11, 11:08 AM by magpieuk |
