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| verte |
I'm bored. I'm procrastinating. I've got a pile of marking to finish, a documentary to watch so I can take part in a panel discussion on Monday and two papers to write.
And yet I've stalled. Just submitted first ever article up for peer review on female submission and masochism and feminism for a journal special issue. It feels like the culmination of many years of research and reading and thinking that all came together with surprising ease. Y'all would hate it, probably, given that it contains the "F" word and is vaguely critical and not especially fluffy, but it's that thing with academia: if nothing written in the field even vaguely covers what you'd want to say, do better. So I have. And I will. If you're interested in consensual non-consent, though, it might be worth a gander.
One of the things I wanted to write about on IC is the conflation of work and my personal life. The Disastrous Incident (that in the end wasn't so disastrous in retrospect) was, more than anything, a problem of my focussing so much on theorising masochism and sexual ethics that I forgot to think about the personal, how I might actually react, what the come-uppance might be. Instead, as the sadist said, it felt almost like I was 'testing out a theory', and that it almost didn't matter after a certain point whether or not he was there....
He also said some things in the 'aftermath' talk about differentiating between compliance and submission that have seriously inspired me, and that all needs blogging too...
Nope, can't be bothered to do any of that now. When's The Apprentice on again...?
Edited Wed 18 May 11, 8:44 PM by verte
| 18 May 11, 9:04 PM Beauxxxx UK(LS), 5 yrs  |
I just wonder sometimes - perhaps partly because thinking of this has basically become your job, your life even, whether you both try too hard to intellectualise everything. Perhaps it is time to just let go and do, feel, have fun, hurt, please, experience, delight in sensuality and joy. Then afterwards don't talk about it, just cuddle. Please forgive the intrusion B xx | |||
| 19 May 11, 1:29 AM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
Not intrusive. I don't think I try too hard to intellectualise everything. It is quite honestly what comes instinctively to me to do, but he is so much a perverse kind of muse and is also a fearsome editor. He's read pretty much everything significant I've written over the last 10 odd years. So it is difficult to compartmentalise. I'm aware that our relationship, because he has known me since I was barely an adult, is always going to be an unusual one, but my inability to compartmentalise is genuinely a problem. I never anticipated it would be the case. As for letting go and doing, though, rest assured -- that came after the aftermath talk..... Railing against the tyranny of 'common sense'. | |||
| 26 May 11, 8:05 PM versswitch UK(WA), 11 yrs |
Can we read the paper Verte? | |||
| 29 May 11, 12:41 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
Memo me and when it's out I'll let you know the citation. I'm afraid I wouldn't dream of publishing my real name on this site, but I do think it's important/ethical to allow people who actually practise BDSM to read academic material like mine if they have any desire to. Railing against the tyranny of 'common sense'. |
