Face slapping - love it or loathe it? (96)

The following statement is false. The previous statement is true.
Reality is a perception, normality an opinion.
No stranger to being beaten around the head with a concept. Where 'the concept' refers to a large stick.

"A man who does not think for himself does not think at all." - Oscar Wilde
"If you go to see the woman, do not forget the whip." - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Taintedinnocence wrote: LondonShyGirl wrote: but anything which leaves even a temporary mark or gives me a headache or makes my ears ring or cuts my lips etc would seriously damage my relationship with the Dom in question. I know some people like it and some people don't, but I would just point out it is perfectly possible to have a good hard slap without any ear ringing, cutting, headaches or marks (altho a little redness may appear, that won't generally last long) - I'm sure its possible to get all of the above with a real wallop, but it doesn't mean a faceslap is rubbish if you don't have a few teeth falling out after

Most dominants would agree that caning punching and otherwise pummeling the area around a submissives kidneys and abdomen is a very bad ideas as it contains so many vital organs, how much more vital are your eyes ears and brain,

So on to the quotes

Faceslapping is one of those things that has a LOT of obvious dangers, and also a lot of erotic potential. The dangers are everything from breaking facial bones, detaching retinas to brain damage. The erotic benefits are less obvious, and it is a matter of opinion whether they outweigh the potential dangers. I think this qualifies as edge play. The fact that I've made a choice to do it, indicates only that I've done everything I can to reduce the risk, and my partners and I are willing to take the consequences of our actions. It doesn't mean that I think this activity is safe. I don't. But what is acceptable for one person or couple can be unacceptable for others. And what is edge play for one is boring for others.

I will say that face slapping, though very lightly, is something I practice with my subs. Now, I adore my subs, I intend to live with them for the foreseeable future, so I don't want them brain damaged, nor do I want them otherwise damaged. So, how can I do it safely?

The answer is, you CAN'T do it safeLY. You CAN do it safER. The technique that I use is to hold my left palm firmly against his/her cheek, and slap his/her other cheek NOT TOO HARD with the fingers of my right hand. Or vice versa. If you are very light, you can do a forehand, backhand hit, though one stroke each would be plenty. If your hand stings, you are hitting too hard. And please remove all rings before doing this. Even a plain band can cause lacerations if you catch someone right. As a doctor involved with the D/s community stated:

"Faces are a different matter. They are NOT designed to tolerate trauma. The facial organs and tissues of the face are delicate and easily damaged. Innocent child's play commonly results in serious facial injuries. In even the skilled trained hands of a practiced "slapper", the chance of a minimally misplaced blow causing damage to the eyes or facial nerves is significant. Heavy facial slaps could indeed damage eyes, nerves, joints, neck, and even brain. Lips are particularly susceptible to damage: they split easily. The skin over the cheekbone is easily torn. In my days as an ER doc I sewed up many a slapped induced facial laceration." (Quote from Dr. Joe in HSX 200 on CompuServe in a message thread on face slapping.)

There are countless injuries that can be sustained from this activity from detached retinas, to dislocated or broken facial bones to severe brain damage.

Besides the physical trauma, there is a lot of emotional trauma associated with this sort of play. Slapping someone is perceived as an extreme form of humiliation. Slapping is not much higher on the ultimate contempt scale than spitting on someone. It's considered a sure sign of abuse. A woman with facial bruises or lacerations is considered to be a victim of spousal abuse. It's the first thing that crosses anyone's mind.

Slapping someone without establishing that the bottom can accept it, often leads to severe emotional reactions. Even when you've negotiated slapping into a scene, the bottom may find that the reality sets off some hitherto buried land mine. If you indulge in this play, the top MUST be prepared to deal with an extreme emotional reaction from the bottom. The most unassertive femsub can become a raging creature bent on retaliation from what they emotionally see as a contemptuous attack from her top. Male subs have been known to attack female dominants due to an unexpected slap. Both sexes have ended otherwise trouble free relationships over what was perceived as an unbearable humiliation. Slapping is emotionally charged, as well as physically dangerous.

End quotes

I am afraid Hollywood is to blame for the misconceptions around face slapping I think. Too many pouting femme fatals have done down the holywood heroes with a vicious slap, personally I would rather be on the recieving end of Jimmy Cagney's grapefruit in the mush then say one of Joan Crawfords right handers....

Locked up somewhere in Rubberland