roles/dynamics (58)

Many Doms will spend a period of time as a sub so they understand more of the whys of how the sub reacts. It does not mean that they are subs or switches though and as such are to be welcomed rather than rejected.

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"We're all living in a freakshow Man, it's called life. Buy a ticket and enjoy the ride." Foamy The Squirrel

I've got to say not in my experience. In fact I can't think of one.

And, anyway, I've never really gone for this trying it from the other side - especially with D/s. You can do it - but you can't get how a particular sub feels in their head - just by doing it. The best domme I've ever known can get how my D/s head is and she has never subbed

But - hey - I've said all along it ain't logical in the cold light of day to others outside my head space. And it may be because of my own experiences that I now think this way

I can't think of a single one either, I always knew I was Dom and wouldn't be baring my arse for a whooping from anyone. Its just not in me.

But if it floats your boat, go for it.

But in your way of thinking, how many subs spend time as a Dom, so they understand the Doms better?

Edited 15 May 11, 8:18 PM by steelhouse

However that doesn't mean everyone is always the same. Also some people are bisexual not gay and some don't realise they are gay until they are older etc. It's just that I am much more into men who are very sure of their sexuality and never swayed because that mirrors me - inherently and always so. I don't want someonew ho might change his mind or half way in say... hey why don't you spank me.

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

Interesting post

I am not sure that some switches can fully understand someone who is completely submissive/dominant/sadistic/masochistis either. Switches have the experience of subbing/domming/beating/being beaten/etc (whatever part works for them). But that doesn't mean they can totally get what it is like to be all one way or the other

And, in a way, you've made this point with your questions about "How does this effect their ability to..?" It doesn't as you say but it effects how some of us see a D/s relationship. I am not sure anyone on this thread (sorry haven't got time to look back now) has suggested that it makes them less dominant or whatever

But, I am not sure understanding is something that matters that much. From this thread it is clear that some can't get how my head works. That's fine - I am happy with it and I don't particularly need anyone else's understanding apart from my domme

What, to me, is more important is acceptance of how I am and the infamous YKIOK. To be honest, as I said in an earlier post, I really haven't seen much switch bashing on IC (or anywhere) recently

This post might not be that great as I am in a rush - but, hopefully, I've got my point across without offending or upsetting anyone

Edited 16 May 11, 1:38 PM by lisal

I am a switch in a ltr as a sub. My ltr's are always me sub Them Dom/me, any time I have Dommed its always been for play not for a relationship, not sure why this is, just the way it has worked out. Predominately I am sub but once in a while get rather sadistic urges to hurt someone. This for me though can't be my Dom. I find it terribly hard to see Him hurt; making me feel useless at helping any pain He might be going through and to know that would have been because of something I did would make it worse. Strangely though I don't have problems hurting her. This is probably because they identify purely as sub or Dom and don't them-selves switch.

This doesn't mean that if He was a switch I'd have less respect for Him, just that I couldn't be the inflictor in His case. I like the all powerful strength without showing weakness part that as my Dom He tends to have (sciatica aside!). I tend to associate (rightly or wrongly) the Dom with the ability to punish as the stronger person, definitely physically. I do know that as sub it takes a huge amount of strength to receive some of those punishments though.

Re-reading this I don't think it clarifies anything! It is a strange one and tbh I do feel in some minds there is much the case of hierarchy where male subs are viewed below female subs, that they have less respect than female subs and this might be a reason behind why some cannot see a male Dom sub?

This thread does tend to bring this old sketch (not as good as the original but funny anyway) to mind too…

lily
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?