This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 13 May 11, 6:22 PM anastasia_docile 6 yrs |
Yes, I have taken the initiative, quite often, in sending a first memo. I don't think, as a submissive woman, this makes me an exception....I suspect not. I've been told by several of the guys I've got to know here that they've often been approached, initially, by woman on IC. This suggests that,( re. point 1.) the content and style of the profile is appealing enough to encourage a number of women here to reply. Re. point 2......who can say, without doing a bit of research? And re. point 3.....being concerned that it may influence the D/s dynamic, or be seen as innappropriate because of it.....yes, this used to worry me. Now, not at all. If I read a profile that appeals, I send a memo.
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams. Yeats. | ||
| 13 May 11, 6:26 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs   |
I send messages to start actual dialogue if I like someones post on the boards, if their profile makes me laugh, if they have a particularly unusual hobby, if they mention something I like or have a really interesting profile generally. I also have been known to send messages when I am bored based purely on distance and attractiveness (how I met my current partner actually) | ||
| 13 May 11, 6:28 PM ladybabe2 UK(SK), 6 yrs |
Sorry the only time l have sent memo's to men first is if they have posted something and l have liked it or its someone l have already met. I am not very good at making first contact but then l was of an era and also brought up to believe that the man makes the first move... (wonder's if it is age related)
Oh and l keep reading about female subs with mountains of mail so none like me then with the odd one or two??? Don't make them a priority, when they only make you an option... | ||
| 13 May 11, 6:40 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Well I don't get much either so may be it is just age. Probably the same for the old short fat men too. The young adonis of either gender will always be most popular.
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| 13 May 11, 6:46 PM mroberts UK(EH), 6 yrs |
Yup - exactly the same - you need to be really explicit or im completely oblivious | ||
| 13 May 11, 7:51 PM one_femsub 13 mths |
Good, thought provoking question! My answers below. 1. If a profile is informative, well written and it is clear that I match the writer's criteria, then I have and will be happy to make first contact with a memo (rather than the chatbox). 2. This one I can't answer from experience, but I suspect the answer is yes. 3. The Ds dynamic doesn't affect my decision to make the first move either here on IC, or in fact in a face to face situation. If I identify someone who fits my bill, I'm happy to initiate a conversation. It doesn't matter to me if the person I'm making contact with is Dom, sub, switch, nilla or kinky; it is after all, only an introductory message. | ||
| 13 May 11, 11:13 PM CaptainQuo UK(AB), 2 yrs |
I think that's the inherent weakness of using mail or memos - there are no visual cues, which hits men particularly hard, as we are more visual in nature. Certainly, in my own experience, I've found it more difficult to judge by text alone. To be fair, there are ways to get around it by using smileys and so on, but you can't compare it to the instinctiveness of face to face interaction. Edited 13 May 11, 11:16 PM by CaptainQuo | ||
| 13 May 11, 11:41 PM Skittles UK(NW), 19 mths |
Maybe you just didn't notice. | ||
| 13 May 11, 11:53 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs  |
I get lots of unsolicited memos from women. So far only one of them has intimated any kind of physical friendliness, and I have only put six of them on ignore. Rohypnol means never having to say "Would you like another coffee?". | ||
| 14 May 11, 12:23 AM lycheee UK(N), 21 mths |
1. Based on what criteria do the women on here send the first memo to men that catch their attention? A) I thought we may get on B) Based on how horny I'm feeling at the time. 2. Do you think there are still significant amounts of women that feel disinclined to send the first memo? Yes, but I think many can easily overcome this initial hesitation if question 1 answers are suffuciently met. 3. Do you think the D/s dynamic affects this in any way? No. To my mind, at that stage its about connecting not about control etc.
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