11 May 11, 10:13 PM
Melancolie
UK(BA), 2 yrs
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El_Presidente wrote:
Also, it was a shame to see so many bigots replying to the discussion. My favourite of the objections that were cited towards BDSM was:
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It's the weirdness that matters though. And consent isn't the issue. Just because there are a two weirdos at it doesn't make it less odd.
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Good argument. Well-presented.
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Those comments made me sad. I didn't realise people actually thought like that.
Edited 11 May 11, 10:59 PM by Melancolie
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11 May 11, 10:23 PM
go4it
UK, 8 yrs |
Malbon wrote:
... drivel from Nichi Hodgson, whoever she is. Most straight journalists just cannot write anything sensible about BDSM because they have no actual knowledge of it |
Straight? Ignorant? Nichi? Had a bad day, have we? Think you need some of that Armagnac to cheer you up.
She writes for [used to?] Erotic Review. Covers most of the BDSM bases, positively. Is quite possibly on IC. Pieces like this - "BDSM is frequently funny" - in mainstream media definitely help acceptance. Thanks for flagging, Purvection, would have missed it otherwise.
If I have a quibble, it is the odd choice of Keynes - is nothing sacred ? Though this is the Grauniad.
More topical might have been Lawrence of Arabia, who famously was fucked and flogged in Deraa, the same city where Assad's troops are busy slaughtering people even now.
Oh no, maybe that's not such a good idea.
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11 May 11, 10:55 PM
rose_in_chains
UK(W), 4 yrs |
El_Presidente wrote:
It was all going reasonably well until this bit:
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The link between sexual violence and consensual rough play has troubled researchers since humans could scratch out a line between pleasure and pain.
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That seemed to very much dilute the otherwise positive spin.
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I didn't see that as negative spin at all. It's true, it has troubled researchers, because lots of researchers don't understand consensual rough play. And let's be honest: a lot of the time 'we' purposefully blur the line between sexual violence and consensual rough play ourselves (cf. any thread on consensual non-consent). I actually think the article would have been irresponsible not to address the fact that it's a fine line which causes lots of people a lot of uncomfortableness (including sometime this poster). I thought the article was overwhelmingly positive - thanks to the OP for highlighting otherwise I might have missed it.
Still not quite myself but time to be me again...
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11 May 11, 11:04 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs
 |
I thought in the main the article was giving affirmation to S&M which can only be a good thing. The music was not to my taste though. Give me Nine Inch Nails any day.
Best
M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
Life can be beautiful - Joe Gillis
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11 May 11, 11:08 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs
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go4it wrote:
Malbon wrote:
... drivel from Nichi Hodgson, whoever she is. Most straight journalists just cannot write anything sensible about BDSM because they have no actual knowledge of it |
Straight? Ignorant? Nichi? Had a bad day, have we? Think you need some of that Armagnac to cheer you up.
She writes for [used to?] Erotic Review. Covers most of the BDSM bases, positively. Is quite possibly on IC. Pieces like this - "BDSM is frequently funny" - in mainstream media definitely help acceptance. Thanks for flagging, Purvection, would have missed it otherwise.
If I have a quibble, it is the odd choice of Keynes - is nothing sacred ? Though this is the Grauniad.
More topical might have been Lawrence of Arabia, who famously was fucked and flogged in Deraa, the same city where Assad's troops are busy slaughtering people even now.
Oh no, maybe that's not such a good idea.
|
I would have added Jean Jacques Rousseau too after reading The Confessions.
Best
M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
Life can be beautiful - Joe Gillis
|
11 May 11, 11:09 PM
JDubby
UK(GU), 2 yrs
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some of the comments on there are really funny
as for rhianna, I hope she gets spanked so hard that she screams and blows her voicebox out, then I dont have to put up with her crappy music |
11 May 11, 11:10 PM
Once_Upon_A_Time
17 mths
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Der_Morgenstern wrote:
I know it is off topic but, "Whoahohohohoahooo.....putrefying girl, I wanna get close to you...."
I loled 
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Don't you mean you l'dol? "I was having fun, till I saw you. Then my fun went soft"
- Roger from American Dad
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11 May 11, 11:15 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs
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Melancolie wrote:
El_Presidente wrote:
Also, it was a shame to see so many bigots replying to the discussion. My favourite of the objections that were cited towards BDSM was:
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It's the weirdness that matters though. And consent isn't the issue. Just because there are a two weirdos at it doesn't make it less odd.
|
Good argument. Well-presented.
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Those comments made me sad. I didn't realise people actually thought like that.
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I try not to read the comments on these articles or particularly on youtube as someone will say nice song and the next comment will be c**k sucker!, paedo! or something equally offensive.
Best
M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
Life can be beautiful - Joe Gillis
|
11 May 11, 11:43 PM
Malbon
UK(LS), 8 yrs
|
go4it wrote:
Malbon wrote:
... drivel from Nichi Hodgson, whoever she is. Most straight journalists just cannot write anything sensible about BDSM because they have no actual knowledge of it |
Straight? Ignorant? Nichi? Had a bad day, have we? Think you need some of that Armagnac to cheer you up.
She writes for [used to?] Erotic Review. Covers most of the BDSM bases, positively. Is quite possibly on IC. Pieces like this - "BDSM is frequently funny" - in mainstream media definitely help acceptance. Thanks for flagging, Purvection, would have missed it otherwise.
If I have a quibble, it is the odd choice of Keynes - is nothing sacred ? Though this is the Grauniad.
More topical might have been Lawrence of Arabia, who famously was fucked and flogged in Deraa, the same city where Assad's troops are busy slaughtering people even now.
Oh no, maybe that's not such a good idea.
|
I am quite cheerful, thank you. 
Try reading it more carefully, you will see that the writer's name is clearly spelt Nichi, which may be a typical Grauniad typo but is nonetheless quite clear.
And try to be a little more polite and respectful in your posting next time. 'Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?' - Harry M. Warner, 1927
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12 May 11, 1:26 AM
SnowdropExplodes
UK(TN), 7 yrs
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rose_in_chains wrote:
El_Presidente wrote:
It was all going reasonably well until this bit:
|
The link between sexual violence and consensual rough play has troubled researchers since humans could scratch out a line between pleasure and pain.
|
That seemed to very much dilute the otherwise positive spin.
|
I didn't see that as negative spin at all. It's true, it has troubled researchers, because lots of researchers don't understand consensual rough play. And let's be honest: a lot of the time 'we' purposefully blur the line between sexual violence and consensual rough play ourselves (cf. any thread on consensual non-consent). I actually think the article would have been irresponsible not to address the fact that it's a fine line which causes lots of people a lot of uncomfortableness (including sometime this poster). I thought the article was overwhelmingly positive - thanks to the OP for highlighting otherwise I might have missed it.
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It's true. Feminist ethnographic researcher Staci Newmahr, in her book "Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy" (based on 4 years of research spent in a US public scening community, which included her bottoming many times), covers this issue:
Staci Newmahr wrote:
Regardless of the moral position of her argument, MacKinnon's point is important; violence and eroticism are positioned in diametric opposition to one another. Where overlap is suspected or identified, it is pathologized, legislated, or reconceptualized as not 'really' one or the other. A conscious and deliberate relationship between the erotic and the violent is ethically unacceptable. In the context of powerful feminist critiques of (hetero)sexuality over the past three decades, the conflation is especially problematic.
...
Though SM interaction is not simply, solely, or always experienced as sexual, it is nonetheless linked to eroticism.
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A broader, cleaner focus on the social criteria for, and construction of, both violence and eroticism is necessary to understand these relationships far beyond consensual sadomasochism.
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The inadequacy of our language in the discussion of experiences of desirable violence anchors SM to its marginal position, both in society at large and in academic work. |
The book is well worth reading, although I think the fact that it's US means some of her findings aren't directly applicable to the UK scene (she wants lots more of this type of research to take place). Newmahr is also not presenting BDSM in a bad light, but uses her experiences to develop concepts such as "feminist edgework" to understand what she found. |
