D/S and depression (another topic) (70)

I think I can sincerely say that I do look after him, to my best abilities. Like he does look after me. That is what a relationship is about, IMO.

The fact that I indeed yearn to relinguish control, however, has nothing to do with being depressed.

Actually, it is quite the opposite. Relinguising control has to be a positive choice. When either he or me would be depressed, that would have a MAJOR influence on how accountable both of us would be for our choices (to submit or to be in control). So, IMO, it has nothing to do with loyalty or control.

I'd like to think, when this would happen to either one of us, the relationship would survive, but I'm 100% certain that the D/s would be put on hold during that.

"Class is the impartial, consistent display of emotional integrity."

Edited 10 May 11, 5:59 PM by othyim

Well it depends what you mean by looking after to be honest and your type of relationship. I look after my partner, I worry about how he is, I do things to make him happy, I rub his back, I put a cold cloth on his head when he has a headache. All of that to me is looking after, maybe there is a different definition.

Relinquishing control is just that, that is why there are the two different terms for it.

And maybe your take on depressed people is true, all I know is it doesnt apply to me and thats really the only way I can base my opinions.

There are no scientific answers yet, were a long way from that! there may be an odd study and research but again, as far as Ds is concerned there are no answers!!

Deb

"Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man." John Knox

no

depression and mental illness is a widely experienced thing these days

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

I'm perplexed that anyone would suggest that's not a 2-way thing. Ds is a complementary relationship (or symbiotic if you want to push it), and hence both look after eaches differing needs.

Obviously no one can give a quantified answer, but the qualitative arguments are numerous, @Wonderer gave some of them earlier, I could add another half dozen. Though I don't see any that would imeediately implicate submission more than dominance.

And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!

Edited 7 Jun 11, 10:45 PM by Attitude_Adjuster

Why can't any of you understand, it's not being a sub or Dom that gets you depressed, it's reading fekkin threads about depression.

Suicidal of Essex

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The subject matter at hand? Or some of the appallingly misinformed opinions?

.
Posting under the influence. Or if not, then sleep-deprived. If it makes no sense that'll be why.

Wish I'd never bothered replying in the first place, not one single person actually got what I was saying, instead everyone just defends their own perfectly healthy D/s relationship, or making sweeping generalisations about D/s being a two-way street.

Yes, yes, yes, you are all correct, but we're not talking about a healthy relationship and we're not talking about a two way street. Anyone who has either been or has lived with someone with severe depression knows damn well it's not a two way street, at least for a period, if not an ongoing basis.

So I stand by my original theory that *some* people suffering from depression *might* be tempted to enter into an unhealthy form of submission with someone who is controlling and takes on the *big* life responsibilities as an escape.

Enough qualifiers in there?

Hmmm...i've known a number of dominants that have suffered from depression too...it's either in you or it isn't...one way or the other

Edited 8 Jun 11, 12:08 PM by simply_saffy

That.