This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 4 May 11, 3:45 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs  |
I think if you make assumptions that bdsm relationships are more intense than vanilla ones you may be doing a whole lot of vanillas a disservice. We judge what we do to be more intense because we see it positively and is after all, the life we like. We cannot know what others, especially vanilla couples are really like, what they fantasisie about, what moves them and what flames desire in their relationships. I think the intensity experienced early on in D/s relationships may be just as likely to shatter violently apart than act as relationship glue. I think the likelihood of success is just down to the two ( or more in the case of poly)people involved. Some will make it work, others will not. Mistress of @paulss | ||
| 4 May 11, 3:49 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
I meant 'happiness quotient' purely as a term by which each individual can judge their own relationships. It has no meaning outside what each one of us recognises it to be. It is absolutely subjective, no matter what silly ideas David Cameron may believe. Mistress of @paulss | ||
| 4 May 11, 5:00 PM Elysium UK(EH), 5 yrs  |
I think D/s is of course intense. However, whether this causes relationship superglue, or relationship dynamite. Is down to the compatibility of the individuals. I think the very nature of a real power imbalance is likely to shed light on incompatibility much quicker than in a vanilla relationship. Simply because it creates a situation in which things people in nilla relationships are more likely to take for granted, are openly discussed, negotiated and apparent in day to day life. D/s by its structure is more likely to bring to light possible conflict that may not become apparent in a nilla relationship for years. Simply because neither party in a nilla relationship has been in the situation to have had to confront the issues. There is also usually far more compromise from both sides of the relationship(in nilla). Whereas the onus for compromise is usually on the submissive, in D/s relationships. Not saying dominants don't compromise. However, the power imbalance certainly makes them less likely to do so. Then, there is the influence of unrealistic expectations that permeates D/s culture. Particularly in F/m relationships. However M/f relationships aren't immune from this. There are of course unrealistic expectations in purely vanilla relationships. However, they have the added clout of somehow being sanctioned by mainstream society. I could go on and on.
Let's televise and broadcast the raping of kings. | ||
| 5 May 11, 8:00 PM Adwhored UK(BN), 10 yrs  |
I really appreciate all the varied answers, thank you. "Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man." John Knox |
