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| Cosmic1 |
death have been greatly exaggerated.
I received this the other day and decided after much thought to post it as a weblog.
In some places creating an obituary for someone who is still alive is classified as threatening behavior. In this case it just serves to show how sad and pathetic some people are.
Well it appears I rose again on Easter weekend and have no plans on departing soon.
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It was only last week that Mister Comic was seen hosting the prestigious Mister Comic Self-Congratulatory Awards, honouring sycophants and hangers-on who had climbed furthest up his back passage. But as always, even the last day was filled with drama.
Some said he was a fat, pretentious, untalented, over-rated egotistical nob end, who's only ability was obsessive self promotion. His critics were less kind, pointing out that his entire dynamic was merely based on shameless over compensation.
Born as the result of a drunken back seat fumble and a broken prophylactic, Mister Comic spent most of his life surrounding himself with people but this was to prove a tragic irony. After several years of philanthropy, he suffered an acute over exposure to the condition sycophantis which severely compromised his perceptions and caused irreversible bloating in his ego. This did however, lead to him developing a technique for fitting his 46” waist into 32” trousers, earning him the nickname The Human Toffee Apple.
Undeterred, the now socially retarded Comic set off to the North West of England on a good will tour so as to allow the people of London to recover from his moronic antics. While in Manchester, he tried out for a place in the Olympic high dive team but was denied the position when difficulties arose trying to crowbar him back out of the canal. He did however expand upon his neuro linguistic programming repertoire, adding to his already monotonous “Dirty dirty girl” with an impression of a Dalek with a stutter having a fit “Hmmm? Hmmm?”
Returning to London via Birmingham to steal the format of the BBB, Mister Comic launched the London Alternative Munch, offering the public and traders alike the chance to further endure his finely honed if slightly camp theatrical vocal performances and total inability with organising events. Under his guidance, the event became evermore populist and ever less popular. Further drama was encountered when he was investigated by Customs for illegally importing Icelandic wildlife into the UK without a licence.
However it was one day during the promotion of his latest venture – Comic's Rope Activity Party (CRAP) – that tragedy struck. A botched attempt to surgically attached a prosthetic personality required huge amounts of anaesthetic to numb his ego, but this of course failed. Confused and disorientated, he was loudly broadcasting his upcoming event details in Theatreland when his crass audio strains were overheard by a passing troupe of thespian luvvies, who misinterpreted them as a mating call, resulting in him being to be rogered to death.
He leaves behind a large collection of BDSM paraphernalia and a delighted nation.
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| 26 Apr 11, 10:24 AM hollythedolly UK(NN), 2 yrs   |
you didn't mention that the trousers are leather and you are partial to bacon butties | |
| 26 Apr 11, 10:44 AM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
is it physically possible to be rogered to death? There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | |
| 26 Apr 11, 10:51 AM hollythedolly UK(NN), 2 yrs |
In Cosmic's case yes,you can't have a voice that booms like that and have a loose arse it's impossible. I actually think it was @haris_supergnome that done it
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| 26 Apr 11, 10:55 AM chatterbox UK(SL), 5 yrs |
"Well it appears I rose again on Easter weekend" JESUS CHRIST! *chuckles* chatters x | |
| 26 Apr 11, 10:57 AM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs      |
It's been going around for a while Cosmic, glad you saw the funny side. The nice lady with the whip.
The next adventure? | |
| 26 Apr 11, 10:59 AM anguissette_dia UK(WD), 6 yrs |
OMG I'm laughing so hard.... Whoever wrote this has way to much time on their hands :D Chains bind the body but set the soul free | |
| 26 Apr 11, 11:03 AM lush_london UK(WC), 6 yrs |
Well it sounds a better way to go than many other ways to go I could think of. I guess one of the hazards of running events and being high profile in any arena is that you attract the attention of small minded people, who while contributing nothing themselves take great delight in running down the efforts of others.
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| 26 Apr 11, 11:14 AM Volcanic_Sparks UK(SS), 6 yrs |
Couldn't have put it better myself, tis sad some people have such low self esteem that the only way they can feel better about themselves, is to slate others behind their backs, whilst never having the balls to look at their own sad sad personalities and make some kind of much needed self improvements, but then I very much doubt whoever is responsible for this could be improved upon, some things are just a total impossibility. Shame they are so cowardly as to have to sink to this kinda level tho... bless their cowardly little ego !!!
I'm not cruel........ My kindness is just VERY misunderstood !!! | |
| 26 Apr 11, 12:58 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
What do they mean "slightly camp"!! I think last time round you were called The Widow Twankee. As you still appear to be standing (and breathing!)and trading and running events - as well as having a successful non-fet business, I'm sure you'll stagger on from this terible blow.
If whoevr wrote this would like a few pointers on how do do a character assasination, please memo me and I'll pass on Smoo's details. She's so much more witty | |
| 26 Apr 11, 1:08 PM merrynb99 UK(SL), 6 yrs |
DEATH by Ooogah-Boogah! xxxxxx |
