Where's my fairy now ? (5)

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Posted by Oh_Ingrid on Tue 5 Apr 11, 8:43 PM to Oh_Ingrid's blog.

Tags: South West London (SW)

I'm hurting. Really hurting and more than a little ashamed.

I've realised that - as a result of little more than dumb bad luck - circumstances beyond my control planted seeds of resentment in me that eventually grew and festered, trapping both of us in a downward spiral of hurt that neither of us actually wanted to cause.

Neither of us was to blame for this recession that has hurt so many, injecting our happy, very much in love world with a negativity that proved overwhelming in the end. It poisoned almost everything it touched and brought out the very worst in me.

I wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool and make everything right in his troubled world - I still wish I could. But I wasn't good enough or strong enough to see past the resulting bitterness and realise just how deeply special the bond was between us. No, sadly I failed and now he's gone.

I couldn't take it anymore so I sent him away and now he appears to have vanished. It is just possible I'll never see him again or be able to tell him how very sorry I am.

So now I'm alone, still in pain and surveying the wreckage of a love that took me places I'd never known existed. What I wouldn't give for a magic wand to make it all better.

Replies

6 Apr 11, 12:04 AM MizzScarlett UK, 4 yrs	Sad reading, Ingrid. Wishing you strength. "Style is the sum of all your defects." - Alan Bennett
6 Apr 11, 4:17 PM london_ben UK(SW), 6 yrs	after you with the magic wand please, you could do what i did and say thank you on your profile. wishing you whatever you need
6 Apr 11, 8:51 PM merrynb99 UK(SL), 6 yrs	You will get through this! Hang in there; this too shall pass
6 Apr 11, 9:02 PM Sinmara UK(N), 6 yrs	awww hon hugs ------ I'd rather be poor and creative than rich and boring (Patrick Wolf)
6 Apr 11, 11:54 PM Oh_Ingrid UK(SW), 6 yrs	As a wee update: He's alive !! Beyond that I know little, but that's ok. I can breathe again. Ingrid x "Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some." Jose Marti “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” Oscar Wilde Edited 7 Apr 11, 4:46 AM by Oh_Ingrid