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| Scribbles |
I wish you could just buy them from John Lewis. You know, where they have all the prams and toddler seats. Complete with the usual guarantee and warranty, obviously.
But I do look at the aisles' worth of kiddy-clobber in Tesco and fail to believe I will ever find it interesting or appealing. 25 million tonnes of plastic, with pictures of babies who, in their anonymity, just look like some weird other species to me. No fur, no tail to wag, and they don't purr.
Friends' children are different - the way they look like them, and seem to be personalities from the start. Warm and nice-smelling and wriggly. The ones I've known have been interesting, interactive, positive-seeming little bundles. I do know that they stink and bawl and run their parents' lives a lot of the time, but still...
And maybe not. Then our friends who've been hoping not can heave sighs of relief, and those already blessed/encumbered can smugly tell each other that I left it too late. (Care? Nope)
All that and it's raining, with the next 5 days forecast as "white cloud". Oh joy.
If we lived in another age then it wouldn't be possible at all, and 4 years of hoping would stretch vaguely into a lifetime of - well, it being just us. I know we're lucky to have even a small chance. I just hope I don't see too many fat, ugly mindless mothers dropping another tonne of plastic into the trolley over the next few weeks.
PS sometimes the craving to be pregnant comes over me terribly strongly, appropriately enough during sex. But I know I will almost certainly not get pregnant from sex, it will be sedatives and injections and green hospital gowns.
Edited Wed 30 Mar 11, 3:08 PM by Scribbles
| 30 Mar 11, 4:01 PM gentlemusings UK(M), 19 mths    |
Was i a natural mother? NOooono... But the surge of overwhelming love you feel when you look upon your child's face for the very first time is something that does not compare with any other experience you will EVER experience in your lifetime... There were times during the past 21 years when I wished i could sell one of mine, but alas John Lewis would not buy them for resale, and the threat of judgement day added to the prospect of a bleak grey bedroom 4ft x 4ft was not appealing... So I loved them, fed them, looked after them, clothed them, kept them dry, kept them warm, sheltered them, protected them, cuddled them when they hurt, sang them to sleep... and do they remember? ... NOooo! But they belong to me and I to them, The most rewarding thing I have ever endured... children! You will only get out of a relationship what you are prepared to put into it! Edited 30 Mar 11, 4:02 PM by gentlemusings | ||
| 30 Mar 11, 4:19 PM Scribbles UK(RH), 4 yrs |
Thank you, that's beautifully written and very good to read. | ||
| 30 Mar 11, 4:35 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Two touching stories. Another thought. Our lives can take many paths; we're never quite sure until we get there. And sometimes we look back at what we wished for and didn't find, and think about what else we experienced and achieved instead, and - with hindsight - find we can be grateful for what has been, and perhaps wistful too for what might have been. The opposite may be true too; we look back and see what we wished for and did experience, with gratitude, but are also aware of having missed other opportunities and other possible paths. For me it was more of a choice; making a lifetime commitment to a woman who didn't want to conceive. I have no regrets, but can imagine all sorts of possible joys which will never be mine. It's also something of a cliché but someone I'm very close to conceived after she'd given up trying (and had given up paying for expensive treatments), and now has two young sons who bring unexpected joys and challenges. Hope things work out for you. I'm sure you'll find a way to thrive whatever happens. "Wisdom begins in wonder” (Socrates) Edited 30 Mar 11, 4:40 PM by wonderer | ||
| 30 Mar 11, 7:30 PM Scribbles UK(RH), 4 yrs |
Thanks again - yes, I've often found that the way life develops, twisting and turning, has a shape to it which I can only see after the fact. I've very rarely so far regretted the way it's turned out (if ever, in fact). Thanks again. | ||
| 30 Mar 11, 10:03 PM Tentative UK, 3 yrs |
In the context of this site, not mutually exclusive.
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| 31 Mar 11, 6:19 AM Epicurean_Soul UK(OX), 2 yrs |
My definition of real trust You are out for a walk with your child and you come to a road. Your child reaches up and his/her little fingers hold onto your hand because the child knows that if they hold onto your hand they will be safe.
Smile! | ||
| 31 Mar 11, 11:24 AM Scribbles UK(RH), 4 yrs |
Thank you: I have now inhaled my muesli. | ||
| 31 Mar 11, 10:55 PM DancesWithPussycats UK(TW), 7 yrs |
I recently became an uncle, which is kind of nice, but I really wish I had children of my own. International man of mystery | ||
| 31 Mar 11, 10:59 PM merrynb99 UK(SL), 6 yrs |
The thing is children are very nice, and all. But if you could buy them, you'd have to be able to buy nannies too. | ||
| 1 Apr 11, 10:33 AM gentlemusings UK(M), 19 mths |
or get a refund when needed! lol You will only get out of a relationship what you are prepared to put into it! |
