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| Rapunzel |
on Mon 28 Mar 11, 8:23 PM to Rapunzel's blog.
'Here rests his head upon the lap of Earth
A youth to Fortune and to Fame unknown.
Fair Science frowned not on his humble birth,
And Melancholy marked him for her own.'
I spent the last weekend incarcerated in the Lowewood Institute for Delinquent and Debauched Girls, a Victorian reformatory for bad girls. Not of course, that HM Government still runs such institutions where severe beatings and gratuitous sexual and physical abuse are the norm (damn these cuts!), but a kinky roleplay event, designed around a historical reality.
As is usual, in a fairly large group of nine people, differing tastes and attitudes towards the 'scene' i.e the roleplay, as oppose to the 'play' i.e. the physical play itself and how long such a role can realistically be maintained, led me to muse personally and with other participants on the nature of roleplay, its perceived 'uncoolness' amongst some kinksters and why we do the things we do. Which all sounds rather heavy. So shall we return to the poem, class?
I've always loved 'Elegy written in a Country Churchyard' by Thomas Grey, which is a poem musing on the nature of death and also of the sheer ordinariness of many lives, of the lives of the 'little people', like myself, the ones who will never be rich or famous or well-known outside their own intimate circle of friends and family, but whose passing is mourned by few, because they are unknown. Apologies to him therefore for cribbing his title and changing it for this blog post – I've changed 'elegy' (which is of course 'a mournful, melancholy, or plaintive poem, especially a funeral song or a lament for the dead') to 'eulogy' ('A laudatory speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died') because the subject of this blog is actually in praise of roleplay and to try and place it firmly within the kink Parthenon as something good that makes play as a whole meaningful for many of us. This isn't a rant about the rights and wrongs or the betters or worse of using roleplay as a medium to fulfil kink fantasies, but my own rather garbled thoughts on why I like it so much.
For me, although I do play without a 'role' on many occasions, many of my most satisfying scenes are those in which there is relatively elaborate roleplay, which often involves costuming or clothing conducive to the scene and especially in a historical context, some kind of 'backstory', i.e. who the person or people playing are and why they are there at that particular time. I imagine that for serious roleplayers, developments of multiple characters is something akin to method acting and trying to immerse oneself in the headspace and personality of someone else, as an aide-memoire to the overall play, to add richness and colour to something.
There is a school of thought that roleplay itself is somewhat artificial (of course it is) but that submissives and dominants involved in this kind of immersive play are somehow not focused on the submission in hand, that they are not being real, that they are hiding behind an artificial construct because they don't like to be themselves. I firmly believe that *all* kink is a role of some kind, people who enjoy Daddy/Daughter play, or even 'Master/Slave' are assuming a defined role of a kind, even if they don't think of themselves as roleplaying. Because first and foremost, adopting any kind of artificial position which is not reality, is some kind of role. So I find it vaguely bemusing for example, when a person says they don't like to roleplay and then say that they enjoy 50's housewife scenes or puppy play. It's true that there are varying degrees of immersion, many roleplays don't involve a specific costume or a backstory, but the more you play with a single person, the more the backstory develops in its own organic way, you use past experiences to build in future plays.
Going back to the poem and the little people, that's one of the reasons I find roles fascinating. We all only have one life and there have been so many other lives before us, which no one has ever known about or recorded, but there will have been rape victims, reformatory inmates, abused women, prostitutes, etc etc etc whose real-life experience will have mirrored something that you might explore in a roleplay. For me, it's a fascinating imaginative process and it enhances the physical sensations for me when my (rather over-active imagination) is stirred along with my natural juices!
There are two main reasons that I personally enjoy roleplay. The first is that in certain aspects of my kink (for example my enjoyment of rough sex, humiliation and very rough handling, hair pulling, face slapping, kicking etc) that I find quite difficult to come to terms with and to be comfortable enjoying, so to assume a role is for me, a way of exploring these in safety and not allowing myself to feel ashamed of my innate desires, because I *want* to do these things. Any residual guilt that I feel falls away when I am in role. The second is that as one of Thomas Grey's 'youths to fortune and fame unknown', I do enjoy taking qualities in my life that I have in small quantities and magnifying them for fun in a scene. So I might enjoy being an aristocrat at a country house party, when I'm actually an ordinary working-class person. Or as I can hold a tune, in another character, I'm well known for my fantastic singing voice. This is, I suppose, ego gratification, but it works the other way as well, in the sense that I can be a convicted criminal who is confined to a reformatory and who overall is not a 'good' person. There is also a small element of feeling uncomfortable with aspects of my own personality - for example, I'm not particular sexually confident or an exhibitionist in any way, so a role is a way for me to be led into behaving in a lewd way without guilt. I envy those who are confident enough in themselves to be entirely comfortable with this aspect. Good on you for self-esteem! 
For me, my most intense sexual pleasure comes when the cerebral is working with the physical – for example this weekend, I had one orgasm that was so powerful for me that I temporarily passed out from sensory overload. And to remove the pleasure of the role would for me, seriously diminish the colour and vivacity of some scenes. There is always an element to which roleplay is seen as geeky (and in the work and research required to put on any lengthy roleplay weekend would bear this out!) but fundamentally, it's a positive way of playing. And I know that deep inside, if people didn't want to do serious immersive roleplay, they wouldn't (and indeed shouldn't) accept invitations to things – there is always an element of 'it's my game, so my rules'. But then that's where it all falls down because I would be the first to put myself at the serious end of the roleplay spectrum and not everyone will want to play in the same way. So even at a weekend event, there has to be give and take and acknowledgement of different levels – but at the same time, that works both ways and there has to be a genuine desire by all participants to throw oneself into the spirit of the 'game'.
Between scenes, be they weekend or hour long, I often indulge in a little fantasy, some seductive texts, the odd email. It brightens my day and builds my anticipation. It makes me happy. So I want to come out firmly and say, in true elegiac style, that roleplay rocks. It rocks my world. And it's something that I'm going to be doing for a long, long time to come. I just know I'm lucky that there are so many lovely people that I can indulge it with. So thanks to all of you who rocked my world this weekend at the Lowewood Institute. I'm so pleased to share it with all of you!
| 28 Mar 11, 8:41 PM Will_and_Echo UK(SW), 5 yrs    |
This post makes me so, so happy! Straightforward, interesting, informative. I don't think that all the roles are necessarily artificial, however; just emphasised facets of ones own personality. But I can't think of a better term, so hey ho. Role play FTW. And we look damn good doing it. Exx 'Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.' - Oscar Wilde | |
| 28 Mar 11, 8:46 PM Will_and_Echo UK(SW), 5 yrs |
Just on this point:
I would say that there is no way role play could be described as hiding, because in my experience, what one does is emphasise qualities which one already has in order to explore them fully. In this manner, it could be argued that role play of different characters encourages people to accept and like/ be comfortable with all the aspects of themselves, as opposed to simply continuing to be the outward veneer of personality which one presents to the world. Just a thought... 'Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.' - Oscar Wilde | |
| 28 Mar 11, 8:51 PM Rapunzel UK(WC), 9 yrs |
I agree. How about 'enhanced persona definition'? or 'inner emotion and personality exploration'?
That's the academic definition. Then there is just 'makes me happy and the dresses are fucking fantastic' Rapunzel - all round bad girl.... Fawcett Hall Lowewood Academy A Kinky Girl's Guide to Life Follow me on Twitter @FawcettHall (if you have nothing better to do!) | |
| 28 Mar 11, 9:07 PM smartred UK(W), 22 mths |
I've been thinking a lot about roleplay recently - am glad you've posted, because I've been too lazy to write my own post! I never really thought of myself as a roleplayer - mostly because I'm scared of it! I'd always thought of it as something where you have to act, and as the girl always sitting solidly at the bottom of the class in drama, that freaks me out massively. My first roleplay scene ranks among the most terrifying events of my life! What I've come to realise though, is that it's not so much about acting, as 'being', although that sounds somewhat cliched, and trite. But, when you get into the right mindset, you no longer have to think about what your character would do, you just do it. Or, she does it for you. Which is not scary at all. I'm also fascinated by the way characters are different from me. Occasionally I surprise myself by something I do, although more often I recognise it as me giving myself the freedom to do or say something that I wouldn't normally do - similar to your point re rough play and sex. For me it's talking, odd as that sounds! I'm very very quiet in play as myself - alternative me's seem to speak more. Finally, roleplay has definitely let me in on a few kinks I didn't know I had. It's funny what you find out by putting on a school uniform! | |
| 28 Mar 11, 10:22 PM Corevalues UK, 4 yrs |
A paeon for role-play! It is easy to dismiss things you haven't experienced or don't understand; prejudice is easy to acquire and hard to dispel. But in matters of taste "de gustibus non est disputandum" or in our argot YKIOKBMMKIOKBY Why should it be necessary to defend role-playing? Because it feels that judgement is being passed, an evaluation made and that, for some (and perhaps current received opinion), it has been tried and found wanting, materially inferior to "real" play. But If you feel passionate about something, the denigration seems personal (tread softly because you tread on my dreams) and if it works for someone who are *you* to rubbish it? I would not have become a role-player without a lot of encouragement and support. It is not my instinctive millieu and it appeared to me to be too public for me to be comfortable. It is also not a soft option. To throw yourself wholeheartedly into a scene, particularly one which takes place over a protracted period of time,is tough. It is an emotional roller-coaster and can be almost too intense at times. It is risky: things go wrong, people fall out, become over-emotional and withal you try to stay in role and press on (for the show must go on). So why bother? Because the rewards are enormous. Because when it goes well it provides such a strong framework for the imagination to work on that it literally comes to life. Because if you haven't tried it you'll never know how good it can be. I am so lucky I was introduced into it. | |
| 29 Mar 11, 1:03 AM caseymorgan US, 2 yrs |
Rock on, sister! | |
| 29 Mar 11, 4:22 PM bluenblonde AU, 4 yrs |
Lovely post, glad to hear you sounding happy “I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.” Mae West | |
| 1 Apr 11, 6:24 AM Rapunzel UK(WC), 9 yrs |
Weeeeelllll - because people who don't like things do rubnbish them - it's a fact of nature. Everyone wants something to look down on, because it makes them feel cooler I, for example, just don't get people who like champagne. It's the devil's brew, it really is. Rapunzel - all round bad girl.... Fawcett Hall Lowewood Academy A Kinky Girl's Guide to Life Follow me on Twitter @FawcettHall (if you have nothing better to do!) |
