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| Monkey_Wench |
Trust can be a fragile thing or in time grow to be very strong.
When I have been in long term relationships I have trusted my partners absolutely. I'm not the jealous type, and once I believe I am loved, I continue to believe it. I don't need to have it proven over and over.
It's new relationships that give me a problem. I am very quick to read things wrongly, to fear I am being deliberately ignored, or believe he is having second thoughts about me. Usually I will keep this all to myself, til something happens, and then it's like a damn bursting, and I panic.
I thought trust was like a tree growing. When it's young, a sapling, it is easy to break. In time it grows stronger, feels less fragile.
But that doesn't work does it? As a metaphor I mean. A sapling should bend, you should be able to push it, have it spring back, as long as you don't push it too far. My trust is much more brittle, it has no give. It's easy to break. Can't even think of a metaphor for it.
| 14 Mar 11, 2:23 PM MissKimberley NL, 8 yrs     |
An eggshell? I think it's quite normal, I feel quite similar at the start of a relationship and hate to appear needy but I do need some reassurance. Unfortunately it's because I've been screwed over in the past by people I thought I could trust, so every time that happened, my initial reaction is to not trust until proven otherwise. Hard, but true.
“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell | |||
| 14 Mar 11, 2:38 PM just_tope 6 yrs |
Once someone has broken a trust, it forever marks you. If it happens again, it marks a little deeper. It doesnt mean you'll never trust again, as you know, when you're in a commited relationship and in love the trust is there or the relationship fails. But getting to that point if you have ever been mistreated in the past, gets a little harder each time. I know how you feel xxx I'm not antisocial, I just dont like you. | |||
| 14 Mar 11, 6:59 PM Mysubeyes 19 mths |
This.... Trust always appears to be so easy when you are young. Then when that trust keeps getting broken, it just takes longer to heal. All too often I have walk away from someone because I wait for things to go wrong and subsequently don't invest myself. I know that it can come back but it still feels scary as hell! mse x I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well….. William Shakespeare | |||
| 14 Mar 11, 7:43 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths    |
Thank you ladies.
I have as well, and I think I look for signs that my trust has been abused. I feel needy, and I hate that in myself.
I can relate to that totally. You articulated my feelings perfectly. I don't think my trust has been abused this time, I just think I am too quick to assume it has. And that makes me harder work than I should be.
That's sad, to give up on a chance rather than be hurt. I worry I am the opposite, so desperate to find someone I can trust that I give it too easily, worry too much, and assume it has been abused too early. Some might say that's the joy of me, I don't do things by halves. I throw myself into everything, give everything I can. Maybe I need to protect myself more, give less of myself. I do know I'm not ready to give up. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things! | |||
| 15 Mar 11, 3:55 AM Black0rchid UK, 2 yrs |
Az me shloft mit hint, shtayt men oyf mit flay :
or,
Quien con perros se acuesta, con pulgas se levanta. | |||
| 15 Mar 11, 1:31 PM Cassius UK, 3 yrs  |
Iron. It is strong, so very strong - yet it will break if too much pressure is put upon it from the wrong angle. Practise senseless acts of beauty. | |||
| 15 Mar 11, 2:03 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths |
I agree. But I do think it's possible to learn to trust again, when you meet the right person. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things! Edited 15 Mar 11, 2:04 PM by Monkey_Wench | |||
| 15 Mar 11, 2:06 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths |
Very good point. I'm not sure my trust gets that strong though. Maybe I need to work on that. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things! | |||
| 15 Mar 11, 4:07 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
To go back to your plant analogy, I would say bamboo - it is incredibly strong and has a certain amount of flexibility (it is used for high rise scaffolding in the far east for example). But if you apply too much pressure in the wrong way, it will splinter and be completely useless.
^^^ how well put. I think that each breach of trust makes you that little be more wary, more cautious the next time around - and that can manifest itself in a whole range of ways as the person tries to move forward while protecting themself. But there comes a point where, for a relationship to really progress, you have to trust - hopefully from a sound base of knowing someone well, knowing their judgment, rather than blind trust, so that trusting is actually an informed decision rather than a complete leap of faith. There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me |
