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Posted by othyim on Sun 13 Mar 11, 5:28 PM to the O_and_P group.
Being a very self sufficient person, it occurred to me, how the use of your hands could be taken away from you.
Not talking bout something as simple as restaints here, but bout something far more subtle.
The idea would be, to make it impossible for someone to use her hands, not by cuffing, but by using bandages around each hand, or perhaps bondage mittens, for *several* days in a row, in normal, everyday life.
It doesnt sound too severe at first, but I suspect, in due time, the dependance and the vulnarability will sort of set in bigtime.
You wouldnt be able to use the bathroom, the phone, the computer, the tv set, without actively asking for his assistance or permission.
Eating would be a problem, you couldnt turn the pages of a book, the simplest household tasks would be problematic (although you probably could carry a glass and a bottle to him). You cant dress or undress yourself, and you basically need to ask for assistance with almost everything. And... find a balance in that. In other words, adress what are real needs, and what are just *wants*.
I think it would have a huge psychological impact if you would do this for several days. Cause it adresses the very key notions in life. Being able to eat or drink, to protect yourself against cold (clothing), to be clean (or not).
I guess it would probably make me feel very dependant and small, very submissive, very slave-ish, very insecure and feeling that I would live by his whims. Cause it would confront/adress the very basic needs as mentioned in Maslow's pyramid of needs.
Does anyone else "play" like this? Emphasize on the (consentual) loss of very basic things? And if so... how does it change you, and the relationship?
Edited Sun 13 Mar 11, 5:46 PM by othyim
| 13 Mar 11, 8:17 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs  |
It would be quite sexy, I expect although I don't think the submissive would be much use in serving during that period so that might not be practicable for the dom etc. Total dependence is very erotic. Actually it brought to mind having a baby (or two) - having to hold it / them and not having a spare hand.
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| 13 Mar 11, 9:35 PM Hartless UK(S), 2 yrs      |
It's an interesting idea but I think it would interfere too much with lucy and M's everyday submissive acts without giving enough of a return to make it worth doing for me.
Resistance is futile. | ||
| 13 Mar 11, 9:52 PM othyim NL, 3 yrs |
So... would you think submission is mainly about mere service or about consciously chosen dependancy? Power is about what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash. (Harriet Rubin) Edited 13 Mar 11, 9:57 PM by othyim | ||
| 13 Mar 11, 10:08 PM Hartless UK(S), 2 yrs |
I'm not sure what you mean by "mere service" as service is a pretty important aspect of D/s for me. As we go further into our D/s relationships, both of my submissives become more emotionally dependant on me in different ways and it's an interesting psychological angle that we enjoy exploring but it's not the focus of what we do. I'd say my relationships are more about control. Making them physically dependant on me wouldn't suit me at all and it's not practical considering our circumstances (jobs, children etc). Resistance is futile. | ||
| 13 Mar 11, 10:20 PM Hartless UK(S), 2 yrs |
Actually, looking very specifically at this question here, I am very interested in doing some sort of imprisonment type scenario with lucy where basic things would have to be begged for and earned but I imagine that as a time-limited scene away from our family home and normal everyday lives rather than the kind of scenario you have described here.
Resistance is futile. | ||
| 14 Mar 11, 9:52 AM crystaltips UK(S), 5 yrs |
I had a limited version of this imposed on me when i had to have surgery on my right hand. I became very dependent on my partner for help in dressing, washing and even cutting up my food (though a kindle meant I could turn pages for myself) and found our relationship feeling much more Daddy/little girl than our normal dynamic | ||
| 14 Mar 11, 11:24 AM SirOpenSource UK(E), 6 yrs    |
A very interesting thread. Would I be moving too far away from the original theme to ask how others feel they would cope if their D-type was struck down by stroke or other such Neurological crisis? How far do you think your views of serving them would change? Would it be that different if they had the disability before you met them? SOS The Titter group - for when you don't feel too serious. | ||
| 14 Mar 11, 11:42 AM HalloweenWhite UK(TF), 7 yrs    |
Very interesting question and one I could talk about for hours, but then, I'm a tad biased. (Edited because I answered the wrong bloody thread!.) I think this'd be fun to watch for a while but I expect the novelty'd wear off pretty fast because the sub would take forever to do anything and might end up getting frustrated at the lack of progress or the bad results, and the Domme/Dom might just get fed up with how long even small things were taking. Sadder still to watch it die than never to have have known it. Edited 14 Mar 11, 11:52 AM by HalloweenWhite | ||
| 14 Mar 11, 5:45 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
^^^ Like @crystaltips, I have had limited versions of this too because of surgery on my left arm and several operations on my left knee (which meant having to use crutches, so what you can do with your hands is limited). With the surgery on my arm, I couldn't do anything for myself for several weeks, not even brush my hair, certainly not dress, wash, other personal things. I lived on soup and yogurt (oh joy), even though someone was staying with me during my convalescence. I have to say I did not particularly enjoy it, so it is not something I imagine I would be enthusiastic about *choosing* to do, although I can see that it could be appealing in a Daddy/little girl dynamic.
In both cases you have to adapt and adapting is not always easy. The difficult balance is between the sub's desire to help and serve her Dom (and therefore wanting to do as much as possible for him) and his desire to be as independent and in control as possible (and therefore have his sub not do some things). Sometimes being a good sub in that context means *not* doing things because that is what the Dom wants (even though the sub might want to do more). But that is something that is so specific to the people involved and their relationship that I don't think you can generalise, it just needs to be figured out between the persons concerned. It also depends a lot whether the dynamic is/was heavily reliant on physical interaction and control (where a disability may have a greater impact) or on a combination of mental & physical interaction and control. The advantage about the situation in which the Dom has the disability before the relationship begins is that from the start, the disability is part of the general dynamic and how the persons interact - however they may regret the things they cannot do (and will never be able to do) together or the need to adapt the way they do them because of the Dom's disability. The advantage about the situation where the Dom becomes disabled during the relationship is that there is already (hopefully!) a strong foundation - however the change may be so big that the relationship may not survive, as not every sub and not every Dom can adjust to such a change.
There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 14 Mar 11, 6:16 PM MixAndMatch UK(S), 3 yrs    |
It's an interesting idea, but probably more something for play/role-play than a real-time thing. I'm not sure what benefit there is for the dominant in having a submissive who cannot do anything at all! It could depend on the dynamic though - if you eroticise control in an abstract sense, I can see the appeal, but I doubt many dominants would get much enjoyment from a sub who cannot actually do anything. For me, I feel the control much more keenly because of the things that I am required to do. Having to wash the dishes, every time, every day, for ever has far more long-term impact than a couple of days' worth of being pampered in bondage mittens! Actually, now you mention it... @SouthYorkshireMunch 4th Sunday of each month Also on fetlife Edited 14 Mar 11, 6:17 PM by MixAndMatch |
