This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 13 Mar 11, 3:14 PM Filth_Wizard UK(RM), 8 yrs   |
Definitely talk. Nothing can change without it. From a personal side, it's normal for something (anything) to ebb, and it's just as normal to feel very disorientated. Without a doubt though, talk to him. Room service? Send up a larger room. | |
| 13 Mar 11, 6:31 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
^^^ this! think how you would feel if it was your Master who was feeling this way, and he hid it from you... you would feel very hurt and possibly betrayed even though he was trying to protect you... the sooner you speak with him, the sooner the two of you can start addressing this good luck! There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | |
| 13 Mar 11, 7:04 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Is the rest of the relationship okay? Do you live together? People do tend to be less lustful of each other after a while which is a pity but very common. | |
| 13 Mar 11, 9:21 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
Conversely, when there's never any fucking biscuits you get to the point where you feel like grabbing a stranger in the street and demanding a ginger snap. Yes. It was good getting that off my chest, but the point I actually wanted to make was that it is bound to ebb and flow a bit depending on circumstances. I don't have the opportunity to meet for sessions at the moment, and my Master is in a bad place anyway, so doesn't have the interest in controlling me that I would like, that I need, even, and it sucks (see above). However, to stretch the metaphor, I do not believe that his biscuit tin is permanently empty, and there will come a day when he is ready to dish out custard creams again - my absolute favourites. (With the possible exception of the chocolate hob nob, but I digress). I don't think interest in this stuff is something that goes away permanently, if it's part of what makes you tick. There are people on here who have been doing it all their adult lives and before. Only wish I had. eta oh, and definitely tell him. He may be able to assist. Edited 13 Mar 11, 9:22 PM by misunderstoodslave | |
| 13 Mar 11, 9:49 PM Vamp_Mystik UK(WA), 3 yrs |
Mmmm Im inclined to agree with CA. It is true we all lose the burn at some point, or, it changes in emphasis. Even like vanilla or otherwise, relationships can be hard work. We grow stale or change direction unwittingly. I also think you should speak to your Master. Without question. But, just an after thought.... Ask yourself some true and honest questions first. Like : Have your idea's changed? Nilla or Kink? Are you happy? Are you making excuses for yourself? Has your life become a habit? You may need to ask yourself why first... Hope it all works out for you. Best wishes VM
The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else...... | |
| 14 Mar 11, 5:47 AM slave_atara UK(RG), 4 yrs |
thank you so much everyone for the sound advice. Our relationship is brilliant and its just me who seems to have lost interest in sex etc for a while. I havnt said anything because I gave him control over me and feel that ist would be taking something back in some way but I think, after reading everyones comments it would be best to tell him. I just dont want to spoil anything, thanks everyone | |
| 14 Mar 11, 9:01 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Look for external sources too. Some people just need to change contraceptive pill or come off it to feel sexy again. Others need more sleep, just basic stuff (or to look at more porn or get some new underwear). | |
| 14 Mar 11, 10:38 AM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
It can be due to stuff which is completely unrelated to him like your health, hormones, getting enough sleep, how fit you are feeling, how desirable you are feeling, if you have stress at work, if you have other responsibilities (children/family) that are draining you more than usual, if you are having other worries... Beyond speaking with him, I would suggest you try to have a weekend/night away just the two of you doing things you enjoy and trying to recapture the old magic (not necessarily sex, but lots of foreplay or bondage or whatever you and he think is most likely to rekindle your spark) Good luck!!! There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me Edited 14 Mar 11, 10:39 AM by Shypeachybottom | |
| 14 Mar 11, 11:41 AM SirOpenSource UK(E), 6 yrs     |
Try not to forget that change is endemic in us all. The internal change our thought processes undergo should notb e stifled and if in any way it is [whether intended or not] unhappiness will result. Examine the change you have both undergone throughout your relationship and look for new avenues. Be patient with yousef and with he in finding your way through. SOS
The Titter group - for when you don't feel too serious. |
