This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 10 Mar 11, 11:17 PM Red_Juliette UK(RG), 15 mths  |
I would like to ask if any of you have any ideas of what I can do to help my Master. Since he's met me, he wants to cut down/give up smoking, I have never asked him to, but I think because I don't smoke it makes him feel un-comfy having a ciggy. This is all his idea, at the moment if he has 10 or less in a day then I send him a yummy photo of me. Does anyone else have any ideas of anything else I could do that would encourage him to give up? It would be extremely easy if it was me as he could just force me to stop, but obviously I can't do that with him. I think I need to keep the ideas coming as he'll probably get used to the photos and they won't have the same impact soon. | ||
| 10 Mar 11, 11:19 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs  |
He needs to give up because he wants to, treats are all lovely and stuff but what happens when they stop or as you say loose impact, I know my answer is not fun but as someone who has tried giving up for many reasons its bloody hard | ||
| 10 Mar 11, 11:27 PM Red_Juliette UK(RG), 15 mths |
Thanks for your reply. He is cutting down because he wants to, but since I'm here he wants to use me for encouragement in some way. Like you say, it's not easy, so if I can help then I would like to. | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 2:22 AM cages UK(PL), 8 yrs |
He could use electronic cigarrettes - the rechargable ones can be bought online and are 75% cheaper than tobacco cigarettes. They are very satisfying and they make it easier to quite nicotine using patches later but there's no compelling reason to quit electronic cigarrettes for the sake of your health as nicotine, whilst it does have adverse effects, is far less harmful than alcohol and probably no more harmful than caffeine. Most of the harm due to smoking is not caused by nicotine but by the other chemicals in the smoke. It's still irritating to be addicted to nicotine but switching to electronic cigarrettes knocks about 5yrs off your face in less than a week. Paul | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 2:28 AM T5Tart  UK(MK), 5 yrs |
one word champix ..talk to the doc  electronic cigs are good too I went from 40 a day to about 10 on champix www.edgeplay.co.uk www.dswhips.co.uk www.thehitachimagicwand.co.uk | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 3:39 AM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
The most difficult thing is changing habits. By this I mean that he will be used to having a cigarette in specific circumstances - for example with a coffee at the end of a meal. You can help by being a distraction at those times - when he has that coffee at the end of a meal, give him a shoulder rub or a foot massage or do a dance for him or kiss him (whatever works for him) so as to help break the mental link end of meal -> coffee -> cigarette. Or it might be that instead of having that coffee at the dining table, you have it on the couch or in the kitchen (again, just a question of breaking the mental link). I would also ask him what would help - each person has different triggers and therefore different things help. There are a number of threads on giving up smoking, I suggest you search for them. Some of them are http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/296801/ and in particular http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/294845/ which has some very good tips. This is something where he really needs to figure out what will work for him, and then you can help him, rather than the other way around, but rest assured that you *can* help him, he just needs to figure out what he thinks will work best for him. Good luck!! There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 7:38 AM lush_london UK(WC), 6 yrs |
We could argue whether it's the nicotine or other things in tobacco that are the killers, but what's undoubtedly true is that tobacco smoking is much more harmful to your health than either caffeine or alcohol. There is a dose response with tobacco but there are still no levels at which there is a safe level of smoking. Alcohol only becomes harmful at certain levels. Whatever message the tobacco industry tries to implant in peoples minds (and they are very insidious messages) tobacco kills. One in two smokers dies of a smoking related disease, that's not true of alcohol or coffee drinkers. 90% of lung cancers are caused by smoking as are a large proportion of most other cancers. I could go on wheeling out statistics that have a wealth of evidence underpinning them. To the OP, it's great you want to help, but there's not a lot of evidence that incentivisation helps. Be supportive, your partner is four times more likely to quit with the help of your local stop smoking service than without so hopefully he is getting the professional help he needs. When I quit I found it helped to avoid triggers so no morning coffee for me, no alcohol while I was quitting as I associated drinking with smoking (this was before the smoking ban in pubs). Talk him through what his triggers are as everyone differs, and good luck! | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 7:54 AM safeandsoundbdsm UK(S), 5 yrs |
Just say to him as a Dom he must have willpower and to set an example he should choose a day and stop. Say that this would be a good example for you to follow. A bit like physcian heal yourself. For the record I stopped on the 26th August 2004. No need for cutting down, patches or other gadgets. Chris
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| 11 Mar 11, 7:57 AM unencumbered UK(E), 7 yrs |
As someone who gave up smoking many years ago, I'd just like to second this. It's about training yourself out of the automatic response to certain stimuli of lighting up a cigarette. Distraction works, it really does. | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 9:47 AM Masterful_M UK(N), 3 yrs |
Curvy Hi there , reward him as much as you can ..... My Father died from smoking , My Mother is suffering from and will succomb to the effects of smoking ........ I most probabely could be the last of the family to suffer later in life due to the years of 'Passive smoking' , living in the family situation .... Things to help ... 'Withold services ' to disuade him Provide MORE services to persuade him , Buy a baseball bat and ........ Regards M_M Out and about for fun amd games .... love my sub's ... | ||
| 11 Mar 11, 9:52 AM Dragonfyre UK(M), 5 yrs |
I smoked for 25 years and quit last November with the aid of nicotine patches on the NHS. I'd wanted to quit for a long time, and I'd tried to quit a few times over the last few years, but the quits didn't stick. Something was different this time round, I found it very easy. And from this all I can deduce is that your Master will quit when he feels the time is right. I did it when it was my decision to do so, without any prompting, coercing, or forcing from anyone else. My parents had never wanted me to start smoking in the first place, and my son always hated the idea of me smoking, so I had no shortage of people around who would pressure me into quitting if only they thought I'd listen. But me being me, I wanted to do things my way. So I quit when I felt I was ready, and I didn't tell anyone I was quitting either (just in case it didn't stick again!) It took me 14 weeks of using patches in order to become completely nicotine-free. It's a 12-week programme but for the last few weeks I didn't put a patch on every day. Your Master is aware of the costs of smoking, he's aware of the health implications. No-one can preach to him, he's just trying to sort out the nicotine addiction at the moment. He'll do it in his own good time... if he really wants to quit, then he'll quit. Support him, but don't pressure him. Oh, and also, don't try to quit at the same time as starting something else, like a diet or an exercise program. Maybe that's why I wasn't able to quit in the past, but if you're going to change something about your life, do it one thing at a time rather than all at once. |
