This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 4 Mar 11, 8:55 PM idonna UK(SM), 21 mths   |
that what has happened - I walked away as Icouldn't understand how am I supposed to make someone feel submissive if he wasn't feeling liek that
being subtle is harder to feel by sub - so finding someone to tune with is going to be extremely challenging... | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:02 PM houseproudest UK(SE), 4 yrs |
walking away is a kind of a slap in the face! it sounds as if he wants to be master of his own punishment- although im not sure.. if you have left it then you could re-negotiate the rules.. sounds a bit upsetting .. talk to him?
slanted and enchanted | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:05 PM Gareth74 UK(RH), 7 yrs |
Sweeping statement indeed! Its no different to a vanilla relationship and finding a "best-fit" partner (if you cannot find someone perfect that is!) We all have certain tastes and preferences......gotta find someone complimentary, that includes kinky tastes as there is MASSIVE variety there amongst different individuals. For me there are times I want to submit, other times I don't and then only in the bedroom....outside I am fully vanilla. Its more likely to cause resentment being forced into something I don't want to do, that said...sometimes it can expand ones limits & boundaries! Edited 4 Mar 11, 9:30 PM by Gareth74 | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:05 PM idonna UK(SM), 21 mths |
no chance
he needed different kind of domination
I call it "in your face"
he didn't feel submissive with me in the end yes - it was upsetting but is over | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:10 PM houseproudest UK(SE), 4 yrs |
its probably ok to say you both know what you want!
theres nothing specifically you have to change..
but what might be different is the approach and subsequent and discussion... and a good campfire and a sing song! slanted and enchanted | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:12 PM idonna UK(SM), 21 mths |
Yes - I could do wit ha camp fire and singing 
never too much of that | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:27 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs |
Don't worry about being in a minority, I'm in a tiny minority and it doesn't bother me.
'ALL sub men' is a rather sweeping statement. Some of us are only on the borderline of being sub and identify more as bottoms even though that can be inaccurate too
'Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather' - Velvet Underground | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 9:29 PM Scrumptious UK(S), 3 yrs |
Reminded me of Steve-O from Jackass (seriously) 'You know, it's like when your parents say, "I'm not mad at you; I'm just disappointed," you know like, that hurts so much more, you know?'
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| 4 Mar 11, 10:02 PM Tapestry UK(BS), 6 yrs |
Sounds like the person that gave the advice may have been describing a masochist into physical pain (as opposed to humiliation etc) rather than a submissive. If a Domme gets off on administering discipline, great, but it isn't something I *need* to keep me interested. That would imply D/s is primarily about the physical - rather than what takes place in the minds of both partners.
Being submissive is, I suspect, something most subs would say they just *are*. Meeting the needs of somebody else is something from which they derive a deep sense of satisfaction. Its' not something we need to be made to do. Quite the opposite, most of us can't give it away! Edited 4 Mar 11, 10:08 PM by Tapestry | ||
| 4 Mar 11, 10:25 PM pleasureswitch UK(E), 6 yrs |
Persnally I disagree wit this openin statement, I quite like bein in an exclusive club wit only a few an not the many. This said I don't act in a way to stand out from others, I just act in my life as I think I should which sorta weirdly for me turn out to be diffrent from the norm, I don't act up, just try to be, mostly. Also I want to be inclusive wit other an I want others to join Club Exclusive, I try an reach out, sadly, very sadly not enough takers but that's the way it is. Those that do show up an realise this stuff can be done however you want it to be done usually turn out to be good un's. An that is my point, all of this is just people doin stuff, fun stuff hopefuly, good stuff. No right no wrong just what powers a particular dynamic. So don't be scared of the real you (s). Do what ya fancy ! btw not sayin I right or wrong, just some personal thoughts. "Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex....
An' Yerself ?" |
