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| 25 Feb 11, 1:36 PM chartreuse UK(BA), 6 yrs   |
Unless we're personally introduced to everyone we meet, through friends/events/social gatherings... it's unlikely that we'll strike up anything more than a passing conversation with others. Talking to someone (anyone) doesn't mean that we want to climb all over them or have them all over us. Unless there is a mutual attraction, on some level (it depends how well you know someone), there is little chance it will extend beyond friendship... we can like all sorts of people but it doesn't mean we also fancy them. Sometimes people "grow" on us... but that excludes those we only encounter once, or rarely. @The_Problem_Page | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 1:44 PM davey6666 UK, 4 yrs  |
the guy on take me out who said nothing about himself other than he and his mates like to chat up girls who was good looking kept most of his lights on whereas others didnt. the idea that women don't go on looks/image just doesn't hold up in reality | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 2:11 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
That's true. In terms of what makes people attractive to others I suppose there will be some factors which transcend even cultural boundaries such as even features, absence of 25 large moles all over the face, healthy weight and for women visible breasts...... Then there will be subjective factors which are harder to define and either are there or are not which is why I think it's best to meet people relatively quickly as there might not be attraction on one side or the other or both. I would also suggest basic rules like trying to look reasonably smart on a date and not picking your worse clothes with holes in and stains on them, having a wash in advance, cleaning your shoes does tend to help. I suppose most of us want a partner of whom we're proud and whilst that's possible if someone looks dreadful, it's harder if they look awful and wear awful clothes. However one person's awful is not the same for another which is why there are tons of people for all of us. I can't abide long hair, facial hair, obesity, tattoos. For others the long haired man with the full beard covered in tattoos might be exactly what they're seeking.
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| 25 Feb 11, 2:37 PM davey6666 UK, 4 yrs |
page boy is absolutely right. it is a fact that looks matter for both sexes | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 2:41 PM just_tope 6 yrs |
My favourite response so far! I'm not antisocial, I just dont like you. | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 2:42 PM SheilaBlyge UK(S), 4 yrs |
OTotherOH, if someone says age/looks unimportant, I always think well why should I make an effort if they don't give a toss whether I look good or not. I'd like someone to like me for both what's inside and out. | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 2:54 PM tiggerGlasgow UK(EH), 6 yrs |
I think how important looks are depend on a lot of things, but I do think they still matter. It may not always be what is currently fashionable and promoted as attractive that counts. ~Allowing looks to influence you isn't necessarily shallow. However, allowing appearance to hold all or most of the "votes" in our interpersonal relationships is, most definitely, shallow. I do think though that people's personalities influence how they look, for instance the set of the mouth can hint at whether a person spends more time laughing or frowning. Whether a smile reaches the eyes or not can tell us if they are being sincere or not. These are some of the things that matter to me. How somebody moves can be as big a factor as how they look. I often think that saying looks don't matter is shorthand for "I consider personality and other factors more important than looks. If you're attractive then that's a bonus. However if you've the same amount of personality as a cube of tofu, then no matter how stunning you look, it isn't going to make you any more attractive to me." Saying "looks don't matter" is much quicker. All said and done though, people are more than just their appearance and looks fade with time. "A life without pain has no meaning" Athrur Schopenhauer Edited 25 Feb 11, 3:01 PM by tiggerGlasgow | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 2:56 PM youcakeordeath UK(E), 4 yrs |
Looks matter, most definitely and can also affect how you view the person I.e the halo effect whereby you endow someone with positive traits and qualities where there may not be any because of one overpowering factor...their physical attractiveness. However for me, personality rules all and I'm afraid to say I make quick sometimes harsh judgements of people when I see someone act in a way I don't like. Subsequently Yours Edited 25 Feb 11, 2:58 PM by youcakeordeath | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 3:11 PM Caelum UK(HP), 7 yrs |
The answer is that people are different. And not all humans are visual beings. Some people will place such an importance on looks that they will not even notice other (non-visible) qualities, while others might be impressed by the image and less by the looks. My ex. dated a guy who I thought was quite unattractive. Diplomatically, I asked her what attracted her to him, and she said things like his attitude and his style of dress. As for us being 'visual', well, each of us has preferences for how we process incoming information about the world around us and only one of them is visual. Some people have a kinaesthetic preference (how things feel or move), while others have an auditory preference. To me it is very important how someone's voice sounds. I have a hypothesis, totally unresearched and unproven, and that is that we store associations about past partners/lovers. For a long time I had strong associations with the attributes (physical and otherwise) of my last great love. It included her imperfections as well as her assets. Every woman I came into contact with for at least a year after that got compared to her. Needless to say I didn't click with anyone for a very long time. Has anyone else experienced this? | ||
| 25 Feb 11, 3:23 PM SteveDuk UK(CM), 11 yrs |
About as much as cock size I reckon.
@MediFet Medical Play group |
