24 Feb 11, 1:55 PM
Ama_Sidero
UK(GU), 7 yrs
  
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misstressvsdog wrote:
must admit the thought of being 'mothered' would put me totaly at unease, i know that most of us use bdsm to help put to bed emotional issue's that we find no other real way of dealing with but,, when i re-read the op post it
kinda come across as a bit of self advertiseing,,and possibley a little bit of manipulation going on
ie.. those who responded in a way or manner that the op found were within what he is looking for,, i,m wondering as to whether he is concidering contacting them, after-all what better way than to contact people you know are within the scope of what your 'thing' is.
if i am wrong then i apolougise to the op
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That pretty much probably sums up the purpose of all the threads. But then, a lot of threads are started for that purpose, arent they, really.
I don't want to mother anyone - been there, done that. I'd rather have a man, personally, who is useful - not someone who needs constant coddling.
The problem with "shooting in the dark" is that although you might occasionally hit something, you might also shoot yourself in the foot or get hit by a ricochet. 
@Play_Space - next Party is Sunday, March 20 - Peer Rope Practice/Bring & Buy is March 27.
Road Trip to the Sea!!! First two weeks of May 2011 http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/291684/0/...
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24 Feb 11, 2:25 PM
Richtea
UK(BN), 2 yrs
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Lady_Susan wrote:
Richtea wrote:
Ama_Sidero wrote:
Richtea wrote:
I will say this, though: I don't know about strength, but it takes a man of great cunning to write a post that is virtually guaranteed to cynically tug at so many heartstrings at the same time.
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Actually, most of us probably see through it. However, it gives us (Me - I should only speak for myself, really), the opportunity to tell you lovely subbies how much we admire your trust in gifting your submission.
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I do admire your positive outlook. Where I see a cynical and manipulative post, you see an opportunity to say something lovely.....I'm getting way too jaded.
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Well, yes, in a sense, you are.
Most of us on on here looking for something, and offering what we have to give in return. The OP wants to feel vulnerable and sheltered, to be Mummy's boy for a while. It's what he likes. Because he is interested in the dynamics of that, he sets up a thread for discussion, maybe to validate his impulses as well; nothing unusual in that. Would you say it was manipulative if someone started a thread saying he liked scat, and how did Dommes feel about pooing on male subs?
I'm fine with subs wanting to be cuddled and mothered, provided they understand that the deal comes with me beating the shit out of them first.
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Would I say it was manipulative if it was a post about liking scat, for instance? No, I wouldn't, because it would be being honest, open and upfront about it. I have my doubts over this one.
I'm jaded for a reason.
"Me and Kevin, we're just not the same"
I may be in the gutter, but I am looking at the bars.
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24 Feb 11, 2:53 PM
MissKimberley
NL, 8 yrs
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If my man wants a cuddle (daily, multiple) then he gets one. If he's poorly and wants a cup of coffee, he gets it. Hell, I'll even tuck him up with a blanket and his favourite books / laptop etc. I even cook for him and generally care about his wellbeing. If he's had a shit day, he can talk about it or just shoot things in a computer game. I'll pour him a brandy.
He does the same for me. It's nothing to do with D/s or with females vs male traits, it's about caring for and supporting your partner.
I suppose historically men were not quite as overtly sensitive because it wasn't the done thing, but these days I think men are allowed to express themselves freely.
Most women are happy to look after their fella if he needs looking after for a little while - it's more that sometimes, certain other men tell the man he shouldn't be such a pussy.
Seems more common in certain cultures and societies / classes than others though. The army for instance is not so friendly a place if you're acting needy because of a cold, but there is some support for people experiencing difficult situations (ie post traumatic stress after warfare).
I don't think overall men have a tougher deal; women are equally expected to be wives, lovers, mothers, professionals and a whole lot more all at the same time. I don't see many women publicly declaring their "woe is me" problems and throwing in the towel because they're exhausted and have to pick up the kids' shoes and clothes from the hallway for the 20th time that day or whatever... “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell
"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different" - Coco Chanel
Please check out @FemDom_Forum too!
Edited 24 Feb 11, 2:55 PM by MissKimberley
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24 Feb 11, 2:57 PM
Richtea
UK(BN), 2 yrs
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Ama_Sidero wrote:
The problem with "shooting in the dark" is that although you might occasionally hit something, you might also shoot yourself in the foot or get hit by a ricochet.
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Is that what's meant by "friendly fire"?
Anyhoo, the mention of shooting gave me an excuse to revisit an old favourite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Xl0Qry-hA "Me and Kevin, we're just not the same"
I may be in the gutter, but I am looking at the bars.
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24 Feb 11, 3:40 PM
candlefire
2 yrs |
Belasarius wrote:
I really didn't like reading the OP. Just my view, but it felt quite wrong - and i don't think the feelings it provoked where because i felt it assaulted my masculinity in any way.
Where, within the post is there anything about submission? It's a plea for help from someone who unashamedly wants to be a mummy's boy - and there is, I guess, nothing wrong in that.
But, It seemed, selfishly "me.. Me... ME....".
Now, I'm a great believer in selfishness in D/s. I think it's fundamental - but not from this standpoint.
Rather, I think because D and s are opposites, they can practice an enlightened selfishness where one concentrates simply on meeting the other's needs as completely as possible because, if the two share a dynamic, their own needs will be met by doing so. Negation of self brings you all the selfishness you'll ever need.
This cry for help, it seemed to me, offered little to the Domme. Unless she want's a child of course..
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What an immature response.
This is first time in almost a year on IC i have read a response as immature as yours from a long standing member (that has compelled me to respond this way).
I suppose because you've been on here 7 years you think you can say whatever comes to your mind.
Grow up ...
Now if you don't understand why i told you to grow up and you make some intelligent, pithy, witty response, then you need to grow up.
Now if you do understand why i told you grow up then there is hope that you might actually grow up.
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24 Feb 11, 3:58 PM
MisstressvsSolicedog
UK(NN), 17 mths
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Ama_Sidero wrote:
misstressvsdog wrote:
must admit the thought of being 'mothered' would put me totaly at unease, i know that most of us use bdsm to help put to bed emotional issue's that we find no other real way of dealing with but,, when i re-read the op post it
kinda come across as a bit of self advertiseing,,and possibley a little bit of manipulation going on
ie.. those who responded in a way or manner that the op found were within what he is looking for,, i,m wondering as to whether he is concidering contacting them, after-all what better way than to contact people you know are within the scope of what your 'thing' is.
if i am wrong then i apolougise to the op
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That pretty much probably sums up the purpose of all the threads. But then, a lot of threads are started for that purpose, arent they, really.
I don't want to mother anyone - been there, done that. I'd rather have a man, personally, who is useful - not someone who needs constant coddling.
The problem with "shooting in the dark" is that although you might occasionally hit something, you might also shoot yourself in the foot or get hit by a ricochet.
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yup i should so especialy for the single or looking,,
and yes somebody needing constant attention is utter monotonously boreing,, like haveing a blowfly lava under the skin,
i think i would personaly avoid putting up my own op on account of most likly to have both barrels aimed at my feet lol
which has me thinking about now mmmm ! putting a topic up that i could'nt relate to like say
like force feeding a sub custard whist another sub plays a banjo !! both dressed like medevil tax collector's from berlin,
Please excuse crap spelling cause i,m rubbish
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24 Feb 11, 4:03 PM
steeev_slave
UK, 10 yrs
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Neophites_jewel wrote:
needingtrained wrote:
I would so love to be able to shake off the shackles of 'masculinity', and just be allowed to be a human, with weaknesses, and vulnerabilities, like women have.
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Sorry, but this is laughable, offensive, and rather ironic considering who you seem to have addressed your post to.
I don't know what sort of opaque bubble you live in, but I'd take a pin to it if I were you. Take a look around and I very much doubt you'll see too many women who are 'allowed' to be weak and vulnerable (and if they are, I can guaran-fucking-tee that they're not mothers). Hell, it'd be nice just to have the time to curl up in a little ball and feel sorry for myself sometimes. But I don't, so I get on with it. Admittedly, sometimes I need a kick up the backside to be at my best - no one can run on all 8 cylinders all the time - but I get it and I carry on with life. And I would be my life savings that pretty much every adult woman here and in vanilla-land would say something similar.
Count yourself lucky that you potentially have women around to deal with you when you're weak and vulnerable and can't hack it anymore.
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My kinda gal - best common sense, tell it like it is, post seen for ages.
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24 Feb 11, 4:21 PM
Once_Upon_A_Time
17 mths
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candlefire wrote:
Now if you don't understand why i told you to grow up and you make some intelligent, pithy, witty response, then you need to grow up.
Now if you do understand why i told you grow up then there is hope that you might actually grow up.
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Great argument, I like that neat little formula. If he disagrees with you then he must be wrong. Any attempt at clever arguments are simply the sophistry of Satan. Only if he cries, "I confess! I confess!", can there possibly be any hope for him to redeem himself; but only by being burned at the stake, of course.
Then again, wood floats. And so do ducks. So are ducks witches? What if they're wooden ducks? Care to lend your inexorable mediaeval logic to that one? |
24 Feb 11, 5:07 PM
chartreuse
UK(BA), 6 yrs
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I think you'd be better off saying these things to a woman with whom you have (or have the potential for) a relationship with.
Cuddles given in a casual encounter are nothing in comparison to those exchanged in a more committed relationship.
Cuddles should be given by both parties... it's not purely the domain of the dominant to offer comfort, when needed - cuddles are a basic requirement, for everyone... not just those in a D/s relationship.
As for men being thought weak for seeking a cuddle, in a private moment... poppy-cock! @The_Problem_Page
"Sorry" is a meaningless word - unless it is demonstrated, via actions or a change in behaviour, that is it meant.
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24 Feb 11, 5:28 PM
Belasarius
UK(M), 8 yrs
 
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candlefire wrote:
Belasarius wrote:
I really didn't like reading the OP. Just my view, but it felt quite wrong - and i don't think the feelings it provoked where because i felt it assaulted my masculinity in any way.
Where, within the post is there anything about submission? It's a plea for help from someone who unashamedly wants to be a mummy's boy - and there is, I guess, nothing wrong in that.
But, It seemed, selfishly "me.. Me... ME....".
Now, I'm a great believer in selfishness in D/s. I think it's fundamental - but not from this standpoint.
Rather, I think because D and s are opposites, they can practice an enlightened selfishness where one concentrates simply on meeting the other's needs as completely as possible because, if the two share a dynamic, their own needs will be met by doing so. Negation of self brings you all the selfishness you'll ever need.
This cry for help, it seemed to me, offered little to the Domme. Unless she want's a child of course..
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What an immature response.
This is first time in almost a year on IC i have read a response as immature as yours from a long standing member (that has compelled me to respond this way).
I suppose because you've been on here 7 years you think you can say whatever comes to your mind.
Grow up ...
Now if you don't understand why i told you to grow up and you make some intelligent, pithy, witty response, then you need to grow up.
Now if you do understand why i told you grow up then there is hope that you might actually grow up.
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It's what I think. If you can disagree with me using facts and ideas, then I'll listen. I respond to reason. I test my own ideas by putting them up to be attacked and that's fine. I'll argue back (or agree with you), but I won't take offence.
But your post can have no such response, simply because it's empty of ideas and facts. I am prepared to be considered immature - but you'll need to tell me why.
Marcus Aurelius said : "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment”.
Which is not quite as pithy as Rhett Butler saying "quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" and also not quite what I mean. Show me that I was immature and I'll listen and test your ideas against mine. Make empty remarks and what you say can have no value to me, because there is nothing I can learn from them.
If they have value to you, that's good.
For other readers - I feel stoic ideas have some relevance to D/s relationships. I blogged here:
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/36102/
And, more recently, here:
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/297471/
I especially liked @redgerbil's comments on the above - he said:
redgerbil wrote:
I think it's good to get a variety of 'opinions' from past philosophers who always see their philosophy as the truth and not opinion. The more firmly based you are in your own beliefs the easier it is to consider other people's world view
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So, why not let me consider your views on my immaturity ?
My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99
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