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| Dollface |
I don't tend to do off-topic blogs, and this doesn't stray too far from filth. But it's a pretty weak link, so bear with me.
It's safe to say that Maybelline's going to have to work overtime tonight. I have the reddened nose of a raging coke fiend, the hacking cough of someone with a dog's arse for a mouth due to years of sucking cancer sticks, and that just peachy "my God, my head's full of cotton wool which has the ability to swell and contract when I move an inch". I also have the alluring aroma of Halls Soothers and Lemsip about me; like some artificial cherryhoneymenthol bomb (suck that, Viktor & Rolf). Oh, and an omnipresent tub of Vaseline at my side* .
But the raging horn is still there. It's harder, sure - it's difficult to keep a wank consistent when you realise you're not breathing through your mouth; ergo not breathing at all (accidental breathplay: all the thrills of putting a wig on and suspending yourself from a wardrobe door, but with less danger) - and that shivery ache when you touch something cold is not good when your fingertips are icy.
But...FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Nothing spoils an orgasm like a coughing fit.
Right. That's it. Given that my worst/best habit is eroticising just about everything, I'm going to incorporate general feeling shittiness into my wank fantasies. Number One: Being Burned With A Cup of Lemsip.
ETA: any suggestions for other illness-based wank fantasies are welcome. Olbas oil in the eyes, throat-fucking with blatant disregard for ability to breathe through nose, etc.
* this, Guide's Honour, has shit-all to do with my masturbation habit. Something that's slicked around my nostrils is never going to be forming little peaks on the holiest of holies.
Edited Sat 12 Feb 11, 7:15 PM by Dollface
| 12 Feb 11, 7:11 PM kinky_kitty UK(LE), 5 yrs |
Ahhhh, my dear, I feel your pain. Albeit, I haven't had a coughing fit disturb my few (*coughs* loads) Attempts At Feeling Better Wanks, but nothing to kill the mood like the smell of olbas oil and the sight of a snotrag mountain. Open up your eyes. You keep on crying baby, I'll bleed you dry. | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:12 PM Dollface UK, 6 yrs  |
Or, indeed, wanking with traces of Olbas still on your fingers...or then again... xxx "When you're going through hell, keep going." | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:14 PM Miss_Despotic UK(M), 5 yrs   |
I was expecting a sexy you tube link  | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:15 PM Dollface UK, 6 yrs |
I can't help but feel I have disappointed you... xxx "When you're going through hell, keep going." | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:20 PM kinky_kitty UK(LE), 5 yrs |
I hadn't thought of that... I have a childish urge to try it now Open up your eyes. You keep on crying baby, I'll bleed you dry. | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:28 PM Scrumptious UK(S), 3 yrs |
Serious. Although it's my sneezes that gets in the way. I have to make sure I pick up the right tissue. | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:43 PM missPowers UK(SE), 4 yrs |
olbas oil in the bath is one I would highly recommend for levels of sadism far beyond anything you could imagine heated oil that just won't budge - it's the only thing to justify putting your minge in a bowl of milk I know of what I speak a small piece of truth: I do not carry a sickle or scythe. I only wear a hooded black robe when it's cold. And I don't have those skull-like facial features you seem to enjoy pinning on me from a distance. You want to know what I truly look like? I'll help you out. Find yourself a mirror while I continue... | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:53 PM jenevieve UK(CH), 4 yrs |
Erm How did you know the milk would help??? | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 7:58 PM inappropriate  UK(CF), 3 yrs |
Beloved twin, I hope the evilness goes away soon In the mean time, a friend of mine rubbing vicks vapour rub on his girlfriend's chest for her caused her quite a lot of pain with it directly on her nipples. No idea how much this actually hurts as they're vanilla so couldn't really get a measure of it! | ||
| 12 Feb 11, 11:54 PM Dollface UK, 6 yrs |
Quote of the Day, hands down. xxx
"When you're going through hell, keep going." |
