live in M/s or D/s (20)

Just before I start this does not relate to me at all, in any way, shape or form.

For people going in, considering or actually living the life style togther.

What steps do you take before the moving in stage to make it work as location may play part and work. Do you save incase it doesnt work out so you can move out quickly etc.

When actually living together, what efforts do you do or both to keep it flowing well and making sure both parties or more are happy etc.

Just interested in the replies, and thanks for reading.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg
:P

I've noticed a big issue amongst some members when new members ask things of "We've already done this on the web boards".

New members join all the time, and people can't be expected to know what has been discussed in the past, and why should they, what is the rule here, why shouldn't things be discussed more than once with the new set of people or people who have gained more experience and insight since the last time they thought about the subject.

I think its fine to bring up subjects even if they have been covered on ic web boards in the past, the members of ic are every evolving and ever changing.

Az me shloft mit hint, shtayt men oyf mit flay
If you lie down with the dogs, you get up with the fleas.

Myself I have no issues with repeated threads. As new members, new posts, ideas etc.

But thats not what I seek to be covered here if you read the rest.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg
:P

Edited 8 Feb 11, 10:51 PM by cheekyandtrouble

Is it really any different to a vanilla couple moving in together?

I feel it is as, vanilla you dont have all the other aspects linked in.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg
:P

I'm reminded of the Zen saying - "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water."

As a D/s couple who live together, we keep it flowing well and ensure our happiness by communicating, setting rules to ensure the D/s balance is maintained, and making time to reinforce the dynamic and enjoy each other's company.

Which is what we did before we lived together. It's just that now we're together all the time.

"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde

Despite that I am very against the proposals to give live in lovers divorce type rights. Nanny state at its worst. Lobby against it before it gets adopted (Scotland has it already).

Totally agree with this.

" Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. " Carl Jung

With mia, I set things up financially as if she was in a vanilla houseshare, so if I walk under a bus, she's not left high and dry. All the documents are locked away in my study, but she knows which drawer it is, and where in the cellar there's a claw hammer.

At the start, that made it easier to take the decision to move her in, as it wasn't like completely entangling our finances, buying a house, getting a joint mortgage etc. On paper, she's considerably better off financially in terms of what's in her own name now, even though in practice she has to beg for spending money.

:T:

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He has taken care of things in writing and i know where the documents are stored under lock and key. I have a monthly household budget and everything else is 'application' based. Since moving to Sweden, my Uk pensions are pretty worthless and my Swedish contribution is pretty much the same.

Having said that, i am financially better off than i have ever been, however money is pretty irrelvent to me other than keeping within my budget. Should anything happen to him (though i have warned him that the deal is that i go first as i couldn't deal with it second time around) i certainly would be taken care off.

Edited 24 Feb 11, 10:07 AM by janiya

For me, he asked me to move in with him, I said yes. It was a complete surprise. Over a year later were still very happy together. We had no planning or thinking beforehand, we just jumped right in the deep end. It makes me think that all the planning in the world is not necessary.

Communication and being open with each other works to keep both of us happy.

Its not begging....Its saying please very politely Its not bratty...its colourful