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| FairyGirl |
With daddy's permission, I've posted this here from Fetlife. It made me shed tears, but then I'm a soppy git. It's the story of how he got to where he is now.
How to explain the journey of the last year. Well that is not something that comes easily to me. I am much better with the spoken word than the written one. However this year has yielded so many changes feel I would regret not recording the measure and extent of them. I have a story that many of you will recognise, that one of always knowing I was different, that my approach to sexuality was not 'normal' I struggled with these feelings for a long time. It's hard when you identify with being essentially a good guy and then try matching that with the dark places your fantasies take you. Yes its' that tale; the one with a suppressed vanilla life , for the most part, that always had something missing.
And thus enters the internet. Now I don't wish to bore you with the accounts of my virtual escapades riddled at the time with the self-doubt and shame one develops when you see this side of yourself as abhorrent. No; what I wish to convey is a tale of self-discovery and acceptance in which I have found my true image and see that image reflected back in the eyes of the person I love.
That journey began as all must with a first step. I had wondered for so many years what it would be like to be able to practise what I was beginning to realise could be a lifestyle. Though of course I believed that Ireland was too small to support more than a few random people like myself desperately trying to find ways to gratify themselves with illicit encounters. So why bother looking past the first few Google searches for BDSM and Ireland. Why bother indeed. Well first there was the Dublin munches and BDSM yahoo groups, then there was Nimhneach, then there was the local board alternativeni , Informed Consent and of course there was Fetlife. Within the space of a few days and some messages and texts I was now posed on the verge of a new world which excited me greatly. What would lay ahead I was unsure; but I was convinced I needed to take this step and sate my curiosity once and for all.
The Dublin munch was first. With very little preconceived ideas about what I was about enter into I made the drive down. The week before I had spent a great deal of time exploring Fetlife and one person's wonderful ' Chat' threads. The randomness of the banter, though very little to do with BDSM, reassured me somewhat. Apprehension was there to be sure but I just kept reminding myself 'I'm good with groups of new people' What I found is what most of you recognise as the friendly warm, light hearted gathering that is the Dublin Munch. By the end if the night I had met some delightful people, including a two fellow northerners, and at once felt at home. I left with a sense joy having found a group of people; more than that, a community that shared an alternative view on sexuality. It was genuine, honest, liberating and in no way sordid. More than I could have hoped for.
Soon after followed my introduction to the Northern crew and the most epic trip to Nimhneach. Having been encouraged at the munch to attend I simply put up a notice that I would be going and had free spaces in the car. My wonderfully beat up yet reliable Volvo; how it did me proud on that trip. As the spaces filled up I booked an apartment in town for us all to stay and a simple night out turned into an epic kinky road trip with people that would become fast and true friends. The Volvo's boot came in handy when one person decided to bring enough toys to arm a small kinky army.
The night itself was a breathtaking glimpse into this new world I had entered. I felt myself in my Victorian Gent outfit, striding through the streets of Dublin like a more colourful, less deathy version of Jack the Ripper. I had planned to simply watch, passively take it all in. Yet I became overwhelmed by the openness and energy of the place and began my first public scene. The world melted away and I was at once focused yet almost dreamy. It made an impression not only on my partner for the scene but others watching. I returned home dropping off my new found friends along the way thanking them for sharing this experience with me and feeling as though I found a new home.
The months progressed and I grew in confidence and revelled in the openness with which I could now live this part of life. Munches, workshops and parties followed each experience clarifying further in my mind who I was. So many of those experiences play and otherwise were profound. I knew since beginning my journey that I would be moving to England within the year and had made a commitment to myself not to get involved in a relationship. Not wanting the complication of further ties back home when I was set on opening a new chapter across the water. A goal that I found hard to maintain as there were play sessions that affected me deeply and brought with them intimacy that I had rarely experienced. I had to learn to deal honestly and openly with that and keep play in the context of play and set boundaries for myself. A hard lesson to learn.
Yet little did I realise that ahead of me lay an experience so profound that it would not entertain such frivolous notions as what I had planned for my life. No this was to melt those boundaries . And that was the meeting of my little girl and partner in crime. She skipped merrily into my world and as though I was just waiting to find her and take her as mine. I found her on the site Informed Consent. Her profile led me to think that here was someone who had the same approach to their kink as I did. I had long known that I was a Daddy in the BDSM sense and that was where my true kink lay. I enjoyed play of all kinds but it was the context of the Daddy/lg dynamic that felt I would be able to express myself best. Yes I'm kinky, I have no problem in administering a beating, or leaving marks, of course I have a filthy and deviant mind. Yet I cannot do without my cuddles and a means to express the softer gentler aspects of my need to control. Always with play I had a strong sense of the need for aftercare, before I even knew what meant. I was protective of my subs and had a strong desire to nurture and guide as the Dom not merely bend them to my will.
And this girl displayed a lightness and openness in her writing that I was immediately drawn to. So I composed a message trying not to sound like another horny guy. Apparently it worked. A response was made and a few of messages back and forth ensued. I later learned that despite my attempts to be charming, witty and engaging the fact I was Irish played a big part raising my status. Hey if it works roll with it. Already having made plans to visit England we arranged to meet up at her local munch. I hoped that at least I would get a chance to meet someone who thought about kink and age play in the same terms as I did. But what I got was so much more. She blogs frequently and has a better record of our time together and our exploits than I can muster but I want to recall for you is how this time affected me.
I walked into the munch casually searching her out amongst a crowd while a quiz was going on. I asked someone if they knew 'fairy girl' her IC name and my eyes caught a glimpse of her across the room, nestled in the corner amongst her friends. Dressed as she was for Halloween in her best 'little' outfit she looked immeasurably cute as I waved, got her attention and cleared a path to settle by her side. The rest of the munch was fun and easy. Her company a delight. Invited back to hers our first night together was indeed fun. There were tears, cuddles and cum. A delicious combination that had me hooked and we arranged to meet a few days later into my trip. As she lay within my embrace that night I knew I had to come back. I had to spend some real time with this girl who was able to effortlessly draw out of me all the traits which I had so long suppressed.
So a few days later I returned and we went on a date. Our banter together and chat was easy, never forced. I got a great sense of calm and excitement. I even survived an unfortunate incident with the lasagne I ordered which could have ruined all my Domly credibility right there. No instead it was all giggles and warmth as though the night was there just for us. But it was when we returned to her place and our play continued that I found the sheer delight in being able to move from being at once comfortable with each other to engaging in our kinky ways. It was as though our roles where always there just below the surface giving extra meaning and resonance to simple actions. A hug, a caress or 'that look' was laced with so much intent I was drunk with rush of it all. I stayed longer than planned, not wanting this feeling to end.
Of course I arranged another trip. In no small part to ensure that what I had experienced was not a fluke. Some happy accident not to be repeated. To my delight and joy it wasn't. This trip coincided with her birthday and I got to meet her friends, family see more of her world both kinky and vanilla. And it was during this trip that our play became clearly more than just play. The sex was fantastic as she matched my deep strong desire with her own. Each fuelling the other. When she called me 'Daddy' it touched something deep inside me. She is such a beautiful and capable person. Strong willed with clear sense of herself and lives that without apology. To have this young woman allow me to bring her to a place of such raw vulnerability, to be so exposed and yet open was thrilling.
Our time together since has only confirmed what I suspected on that first night we met. This girl is unique and compliments me in ways I would never have expected to find. She has since said that she has called other men Daddy before but they were just 'a daddy' now she has found 'her Daddy'. I am her Daddy always 24/7 not through choice but as a natural extension of our relationship. Each time this amazing woman surrenders more of herself to my firm and nurturing control I feel justified in beginning journey. Though I am her Daddy and she is my little girl, they are more than roles. They are an extension of the truest and deepest part of our souls that we get to share with complete acceptance, trust and honesty.
So now I stand at the start of a new journey this year. The move over to England is set. Once I find suitable employment the car will be packed and off I go to enjoy a whole new kinky journey. I look forward to being able to share this journey with the people here I have been fortunate enough to call friends. Ireland will always be my roots, where I formed my identity, kink included. But I have now a new place to call 'Home' and it is glorious.
Edited Wed 2 Feb 11, 10:56 PM by FairyGirl
| 2 Feb 11, 11:03 PM successfu1 5 yrs  |
Awww. Glad it's working Hun! "Yes, but that's just not relevant.." | |
| 3 Feb 11, 7:45 AM just_iana UK(SS), 6 yrs |
oh wow, what a beautiful and moving post. Wishing you both every happiness for the next chapter of your story x | |
| 3 Feb 11, 8:35 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
It made me cry! He's such a wonderful man 
Thank you for the comments "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | |
| 11 Feb 11, 9:35 PM sparklydolly UK(HU), 2 yrs |
Awww, that is so lovely.
Big hugs for you both xxx Im a broken doll, You're the puppeteer, Take control for me, And wipe away my fear - Paloma Faith | |
| 11 Feb 11, 11:06 PM femsup UK(NW), 5 yrs |
Your Daddys writing is as always breathtaking in its honesty and beauty. | |
| 11 Feb 11, 11:10 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs |
Thank you pretty lady! "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | |
| 11 Feb 11, 11:10 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs |
He is a lot better with the written word than he gives himself credit for. Thank you for the comment "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | |
| 11 Feb 11, 11:20 PM Daddy_Cool UK(YO), 23 mths |
Thank very much for the kind comments. It's been a tremendous year and I am looking forward to this one with even more anticipation. Integrity is what One does, when no one is looking | |
| 12 Feb 11, 1:15 PM femsup UK(NW), 5 yrs |
I can see its well written but the content shows the person to be a real gem.No wonder you are so head over heels in love with each other. Hope as a good girl that at least one foot comes off the floor as you kiss him. | |
| 12 Feb 11, 2:07 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs |
He is indeed a real gem Hehe, that would be telling! "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. |
