 |
| tiggerGlasgow |
on Mon 24 Jan 11, 4:58 PM to tiggerGlasgow's blog.
I was talking to a friend of mine about how sometimes as submissive types we can whinge and moan and say no and not really meant it. Now I know that the concept of safewords has been done to death, but sometimes we forget why they are there. They're not just for the confines of a hitty thing type scene, but for the mental and emotional aspect of a relationship with an element of D/s.
There are things that I enjoy, or that I want to try, but that I cannot ask for. I can't come right out and say "I want you to do "X" to me" because it would ruin the feeling of lack of control, it would feel like topping from the bottom. They are not hard limit activities, these remain hard limits, but they might be "soft limit" activities. Frequently it is about feeling that I am doing something to please because the person in control wants to do this to me. At other times it's about being pushed to the point of not being able to endure more, then being cared for afterwards. It's about pleasing the other person, not myself. Even if I don't on most levels want to do what they want me to, know they want me to do this, knowing that it will make them happy, it gives me that warm glow like nothing else.
There is one small issue with this though, I'm not always in the head-space where I can handle that push. If I'm feeling low or dejected or unwanted, then that push will either push me into the defensive or make me feel even worse.
Damn do dominant types have a hard job.
P.S. Thanks for putting up with me SP.
Edited Mon 24 Jan 11, 4:59 PM by tiggerGlasgow
