This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 22 Jan 11, 10:24 PM silklover2 7 yrs  |
I was just having a discussion with someone by memo about this! For me it definitely has to be the personal connection or spark first and foremost, but then with the kink added as well. I need both in my relationships, but it is the chemistry with the other person that is the essential core of the relationship. I've played with people in clubs etc, which has been fun, but it doesn't have the depth of meaningful connection and satisfaction that playing with someone I'm heart-connected with does. Silklover2 | ||
| 22 Jan 11, 10:38 PM Tanos  UK(M), 14 yrs    |
Some people do one without the other. It's a big world out there. :T: www.tanos.org.uk | ||
| 22 Jan 11, 10:41 PM Asshole_Magnet UK(EX), 22 mths |
oh, quite so, just commenting that it never occurred to me before... vive le difference etc I'm not cynical mate, just experienced. | ||
| 22 Jan 11, 10:50 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
wehey! love it! I take my hat off to you for resisting those cravings though! On the chocolate cake front, I've no idea how I'd cope lol. In the past, I've enjoyed S and M on it's own without there being a D/s relationship and as enjoyable as it was, I always wanted more. I've experienced an attempted D/s without the S and M and I didn't really get anything out of that to be honest.
Currently, I'm mega happy in a Ds/Ms/OandP relationship and this in itself is awesome but I love how the S and M helps to inform that. I would say that the most prominant thing for us is the Ds side of things and I think that will always be there due to what we are like as individuals and how we relate to each other (in that with any two people, one will always be more dominant than the other to an extent because that's people and human nature imho). As for S and M I fooking love it big style but ultimately, it's the relationship I have, however I label it that is the icing on the cake for me It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 1:09 AM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs |
I think it has to be the dynamic first, then everything else flows from there. For me, the kink is entirely a by-product that is made possible by the dynamic. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." - Oscar Wilde | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 1:57 AM Intelligencia UK(GU), 5 yrs |
For me the dynamic between the people involved is the most important factor, we're both likely to be kinky 'cos that's one of the factors that will contribute to the dynamic, but only one factor of many Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge, where is the knowledge we have lost in information? T S Eliot | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 8:04 AM t_judd UK(BN), 8 yrs |
The relationship dynamics interaction with the BDSM is what makes it work. I need more than just kink compatibility for me to be interested. | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 8:08 AM Iluliaq UK(HP), 2 yrs |
Came wanting interesting discussion, left wanting cake. | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 10:27 AM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
I'm not quite sure how to parse the question. For me, the dynamic is my kink. "Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde | ||
| 23 Jan 11, 10:44 AM Scorpionic UK(BN), 6 yrs     |
Spark, connection, chemistry, personal dynamic all come first for me... the kink should then flow as an interwoven part of interactions together.
"Know thyself!" |
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